Monday thoughts…

Well, today has been a hell of a day. And, in his truest most genuine form, Knight has come to my rescue again. Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without that man. I am a firm believer that you learn just how much someone can mean to you when you’re going through the worst of it and they’re right there in the trenches with you. That’s not for the faintest of hearts, so I am grateful that he hasn’t given up on me.

Something that I’ve realized is that I’m really good at telling stories and that I really suck at following up with them after the fact. So, let’s share some updates:

On January 10th I shared ‘Story Time – Blaming the other woman‘. If you read that story, if you remember that story at all, the update is they’re both pregnant. His wife and his girlfriend (who has been publicly reported as ‘side chick’ ) are both pregnant. Their due dates are actually less than a month apart. So, I guess their kids can be siblings! I feel for those unborn kids.

On February 4th I shared ‘She’s Pregnant‘. If you read that story, or if you remember that story at all, the update is, they got married. Yeah, they got married last Friday, Feb 21. The only people in attendance were his parents, her parents and her younger brother. I guess they’re going full steam ahead with this whole ‘we’re going to be a family’ thing. I feel for this unborn child.

Looking at my story updates, I’m possibly seeing why so many of the social media algorithms are sharing pregnancy and new mom photos to me. Everyone I follow/know on social media seems to be pregnant. Well, not everyone. But, there are a lot of babies coming in 2020.

Other updates:

  • During a recent job interview I was asked when I plan to have children and how many children I plan to have. I can’t even begin to explain all the things wrong with that.
  • I launched a Patreon account. So, if you’d like to support my blog, click the link in my menu!

Posts I’m working on for this week:

  • All of the reasons why you should love your analytics
  • The Broke Girl’s Survival Guide
  • Are the stereotypes of Canadians actually true?
  • The latest blogging scam I’ve seen going around

I’ll probably sprinkle in some daily life stuff in there as well. Because, why not pour my heart out to the internet? WordPress is a whole lot kinder than the real world. I will take suggestions to, if anyone has any.

Oh, also, please note that if you email me it might take a few days to get a response back to you. I typically respond to every email that I get, I just get sidetracked. Especially now that I am healthy again, my computer isn’t being turned on as often.

PODCASTS:

Before I share these links I just want to say that my voice is something that I’m often very insecure of. I have a very soft voice, naturally, and people use my voice as a means to judge me as unintelligent and ditzy. So, if you do listen to either of these links, please keep in mind that I’m not trying to talk quietly… that’s just my voice.

Geneva (from CerratoMom) has a podcast that I was a guest on this week. Click here to listen to our converation. We talked about a lot of different subjects, and if I’m being totally honest, it’s a lot of me talking over her, accidentally. Sorry G! Do give it a listen, if you have time. And do have your volume on high because each of us have an extremely soft voice so you’re going to need high volume to hear us.

Bradley (from ColdBrewCalls) has a podcast that I was guest on late last year. Click here to listen to our conversation. We speak about many things, from being a millennial to job hunting to travelling and much more. I quite enjoyed the conversation, and it is a long one. Give it a listen if you’ve got some extra time.

If you have a podcast and would ever be interested in having me take part, shoot me an email at millenniallifecrisis12@gmail.com.

Emails that brighten my spirits.

As some of you may know, from time to time I will have one-on-one chats with fellow bloggers to try and give them some extra tips and tricks to the trade in hopes that it’ll help them in their blogging journey.

I can’t tell you how good it makes me feel when they send me notes about just how excited they are when they make improvements and good things happen for them!

A couple of weeks back I got an email from a fellow blogger that I have previously worked with and she was expressing her excitement that, for the first time ever, her blog hit 100 views in 24 hours. I was excited to hear her excitement, but I was also excited for her because I know what a talented blogger she is and I also know what an interesting person she is. She has a lot to share with this world and a lot of value to bring, and I know that as people continue to find her blog, they’ll see in her everything that I see in her.

This afternoon I got an email from a fellow blogger that I have previously worked with and he was expressing his excitement that his blog has reached 200 followers and the interaction he’s receiving on his posts is increasing daily. I was elated to hear his excitement, but I was also excited for him because, after so many years of pouring his heart and soul into his written work, his blog and sharing his story, people are really starting to find him and resonate with what he shares and who he is.

It makes me happy to see fellow bloggers finding success and being appreciated for what they do and the content they create. I feel a great sense of pride in myself when people ask me for advice, and I am grateful that people trust me enough seek help from me. But, more importantly, I feel a great sense of pride in seeing these bloggers succeed. Because, the bottom line is, there success is because of them, not me. All I did was remind them of what they’re capable of.

Digital marketing can sometimes seem silly, but I promise you that if you really take the time and effort to pay attention to the small things, it’ll make a world of difference in your blogging journey. If you’re ever feeling disheartened, burnt out, or you’re just plain struggling with your blog, remember this: success is not a limited resource. There’s room for every blogger at the top, so keep focused. Your time will come!

A fascinating sight for Hockey Night in Canada

Photo from CBC.CA (Note the blue pads, gloves and helmet that is all Marlies branded gear)

I can’t even begin to imagine the feelings that would come with experiencing both the scariest, and coolest, moment of your life at the exact same moment in time.

On February 22 (last night) the Carolina Hurricanes enlisted the use of an Emergency Backup Goaltender in their game against the Toronto Maple Leafs.

David Ayres, a 42 year old Zamboni Driver for the AHL’s Toronto Marlies, stepped in as goaltender, MAKING HIS NHL DEBUT, for the Carolina Hurricanes. Ayres finished off the second and third periods for the Canes after the their goaltenders, Petr Mrazek and James Reimer, went down with injuries.

Stopping 8 out of 10 shots he faced in the period-and-a-half of play, Ayres was named the games’ first star and helped the Canes to a 6-3 win over the Toronto Maple Leafs.

In one night he made his NHL Debut and clocked his first NHL win.

Ayres’ game winning stick will go on display in the Hockey Hall of Fame and Ayres, a kidney transplant recipient, will be in Carolina this coming Tuesday to celebrate with the Canes and help raise money and awareness for the American Kidney Fund.

One day you’re driving a zamboni and the next day you’re the game-winning goaltender of your NHL Debut.

Anything can happen in this life, all you really have to do is believe.

Happy Birthday

It is Knight’s birthday today. I know he’s not a big fan of birthdays and that he does not want anyone else knowing, but I can’t help it. I’m grateful for this day and his existence.

Happy Birthday, my love. I don’t know much about this life but what I do know is that, whatever souls are made of, yours and mine are meant to be.

I have an Official Patreon

Thanks to some encouragement from a fellow blogger, as well as support from two friends, I have gone ahead and created a Patreon account for #MillennialLifeCrisis.

If you would like to support this blog and myself, financially, you can do so by subscribing to my Patreon here. Presently there are two subscription tiers, $1 per month and $5 per month.

$1 Per Month Tier

  • Totals $12 per year
  • Provide monetary support to myself and #MillennialLifeCrisis

$5 Per Month Tier

  • Totals $60 per year
  • Provide monetary support to myself and #MillennialLifeCrisis
  • Have your blog linked under the ‘Supporters’ page on my blog

There are only two tiers for this Patreon because I didn’t want to overwhelm myself, or anyone else for that matter. If this turns into nothing, no harm and no foul. And, if this turns into something that actually benefits me, and this blog, that’ll be a huge blessing for 2020.

*Please Note that monetary subscriptions are not a requirement to follow this blog. This is an option to those who subscribe to this blog and would like to support it financially as well. All of my posts will still be public. Any of the things that may have brought you to this blog initially will still be public domain. This includes all of my blogging/marketing tips, tricks, hacks and suggestions. I believe in sharing my knowledge at no charge, to hopefully help other bloggers thrive. Patreon will (hopefully) be a vehicle for me to be able to dedicate more strategic efforts toward improving this blog and expanding the content that I share.

Thank you for your continued support of this blog. Whether you choose to support monetarily, or not, I appreciate you for coming to this blog, sharing your stories with me and leaving kind comments.

You have given this self-proclaimed introvert a corner of the internet where I can truly be myself without fear. That is a sense of pride I have that I can’t even begin to explain. Thank you to all 6,000 plus of you. It means the world to me that you care about what I have to share.


To anyone who might not know, Patreon is a membership platform that provides business tools for creators to earn income from their content.

If they so choose, supporters of Musicians, Writers/Bloggers, Artists, Magicians, etc… can subscribe to the Patreon account of the person which they support, pledging a certain amount of money to said person per month.

Story time – Anxiety is not a made up construct.

I’ve had anxiety since long before I ever knew what it was. I remember being a teen and pre-teen and suffering from full blown panic attacks for reasons I couldn’t even understand. My brain was convinced there was going to be an earthquake and that I’d die in my sleep. Or I’d be at school and was convinced that there would be a mercury spill in the science lab and we’d become violently ill.

Nothing made sense, but I had these fears and if I ever told anyone about them they’d laugh, or tell me I was being dramatic or tell me to not worry about it.

I have very distinct memories of sitting in a ball in the corner of dark classrooms to wait out my panic attacks while at school. I think the first full-blown panic attack I ever had was in fourth grade. And I continued to have them all throughout elementary and high school. I didn’t know they were panic attacks at the time, but I knew I couldn’t be around people. At home, I would go for hours, days (if allowed) on end without even leaving my room. I was afraid of going for a walk and someone trying to kidnap me. It really didn’t matter where I was, I was always on high alert. I could walk into a room and would scan for exits, memorize faces, know what I could use to protect myself. I was anxious. I was always anxious.

In my mind, something was going to go wrong. Always. I was on high alert and prepared for the next disaster to happen.

Another side effect of my anxiety, that I didn’t realize at the time (probably due to my lack of knowledge about anxiety) was sleep. My parents used to yell and scream and me that I needed to go to sleep. They thought I was purposefully laying awake until 2 or 3 or even 4 in the morning just to be a troublesome child. I didn’t want to lay awake worrying. That’s just what happened. Any time I told anyone what was really happening they’d laugh it off or just tell me to not worry anymore.

Because clearly, the solution was that simple.

There was one point, I do recall, going to the doctor for annual check-ups, my mother told the Doctor that I was not sleeping. The Doctor told my mother that I was either acting out, or that I was consuming too much sugar/caffeine. As a fifth grader, I wasn’t consuming caffeine. So in her mind, the problem was sugar. She didn’t let me have sugar for MONTHS! It was probably close to a year. She’d specifically take my siblings and I out for ice cream and tell me that I wasn’t allowed any treats until I proved to her that I was willing to sleep when it was bed time. As you can imagine, this made fifth grade me extremely angry. She was treating it like it was something I could control. And, when I didn’t have any sugar in my life and I still couldn’t sleep at night, she’d convinced herself that I was sneaking sugar and lying to her about it.

During the few hours a night that I actually did sleep, I was grinding my teeth in my sleep. Every time I went to the dentist he’d tell me I was ruining my teeth. He convinced my parents, on three separate occasions, to get expensive ($500 or more) mouth guards for me to wear when I slept. They never worked. They fell out, or they’d break, or they just caused me to struggle even more so with my sleep. I was asleep and grinding my teeth. I couldn’t control it.

Many a conversation were had in which my parents discussed there frustrations with me not properly wearing my $500 mouth guard so the teeth grinding woke them up. They were both angry that I was ruining my teeth and felt as though they couldn’t wake me up because I slept so little.

All of this… and I mean ALL OF THIS was symptoms of my anxiety. My parents, while good people for the most part, openly acknowledge that they believe anxiety and depression are a made up construct.

I moved away from home. I went to University, got a job, built a life for myself and, for almost a decade, things were really good. I learned what anxiety was, as per my own research, and learned how I could cope with it on my own. I found great friends, and I was managing the anxiety I had, after finally learning what it was. I got into a good sleep rhythm and, the teeth grinding stopped.

Last year, when everything fell apart the anxiety and panic attacks hit me like a ton of bricks. I was experiencing it in ways that I hadn’t since I was a teenager. Knight and I came to see my mom right after her second surgery and I remember her telling me she could hear me grinding my teeth so loudly that it woke her up.

I sought out medication to help me cope with the sheer weight I was carrying in my brain and I cannot tell you what a difference it made in my life. No one in my family knows that I take this medication. My family frowns on medications of any sort. And, since they believe that mental illness is a made up construct, it just didn’t make sense to try and pick a fight with them about it. I wish I could tell them. But, maybe it’s just something for me to teach the next generation about.

I think it’s so important to note that that mental illness is not a made up construct. I also think it’s extremely important to acknowledge that mental illness does discriminate based on age. When I hear people say ‘No she’s too young for that’ or ‘No, he’s way too young to experience that’, there’s a little voice screaming in my brain ‘YOU’RE WRONG, YOU’RE NAIVE, DO BETTER’.

Who knows what would have happened had I known what anxiety was when it started affecting me. I could have found/gotten help and learned how to cope ten years before I actually did.

I think it’s so important to talk about the subject of mental health and well being with kids. I would never look at a kid and think ‘No, they’re too young’. I look at kids and think ‘Perhaps we could help them thrive a lot more as humans if we have these difficult discussions rather than avoiding them’.

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard someone tell me they’ve had anxiety since before they knew what it was, I’d be rich. I’d be a fucking millionaire.

My only hope is that the present generation of kids, the kids of Millennials and Gen Xers, are being taught about this because their parents can speak from experience.

The doctor was convinced that I was consuming too much sugar. The dentist was convinced that I needed a $500 plastic mold to stop me from moving my teeth in my sleep. A teacher who saw me having a panic attack in his classroom just told me that I needed to ‘man up’. My parents were convinced I was just trying to be a troublesome child.

And all I really needed was someone to teach me what anxiety was.