The struggle is real today.

Every time that I let my mind fall blank for a moment… every time… I am overcome with anxious thoughts, an anxious heart and an extremely anxious soul.

I can’t control my thoughts.

I can’t.

I’ve had two clonazepams today and my heart is still racing. This is the feeling I wish that I could explain to those that don’t struggle with anxiety. This is what I wish they could understand. Nothing needs to be overly wrong, it’s just… some days are worse than others. Some days it’s harder to leave your room. Some days it’s all you can do to just be alive.

I know this. I do. And I know that if I jut give myself some time I will eventually calm down. At least I hope that I will. But for the time being, I need a distraction. I need something to put my mind towards. I need a project. I need to make myself busy so that my mind doesn’t have time to get the better of me.

Any suggestions?

19 thoughts on “The struggle is real today.

  1. V, I totally understand what you’re going through. I also live with anxiety, and some days are worse than others. There are several things I do when I feel my mind consumed by intrusive thoughts: 1. I surround myself with my loved ones. Be it friends or family, just talking about it helps a lot. 2. I do something that I’m passionate about. Do you like to game? Paint? Cook? Something that will channel that energy elsewhere is great. And 3. I exercise, which is usually the LAST thing I want to do when I’m all jittery, but breaking a sweat helps to calm me down and gives me something to focus on. I hope this helps. Hang in there, friend! You’re not alone! ❤

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  2. Anxiety can be so awful. Have you tried making lists. Like small lists. Brush teeth. Take some breaths outside. Start a small project. Little things in a routine and order help me to feel less anxious. Do you diffuse essential oils? I find that helps set my mood and calms me down. I hope you feel better!

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  3. I have found that running helps. I try and make it a goal to run at least 5 times a week. Burns off all the negative energy and feelings but it allows my mind freedom during the run because all I am focusing on is the next marker or street sign or stop sign. I only go a mile and half to two miles each time. Hope you find some solice soon. Take care

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      1. Can you use an eliptical? Or maybe bike riding, walks or even swimming would help. For some reason archery or target practice is another thing that relieves stress for me. I wish you all the best with trying to find that activity that gets the negative energy out of your system.

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      2. So I am assuming you need low impact because of the back surgery? If that’s the case swimming would be great. Have you tried yoga or meditation? I personally cannot do yoga and I can’t shut my brain down long enough to do meditation.


  4. One of the more difficult, but most effective things I sometimes do to temper my anxiety is… clean! I’ve noticed that when my anxiety really starts amping up, it just so happens that I’ve also let my living space get terribly untidy. If I can manage to muster up enough focus to get one room clean, I feel at least marginally better, if only because I feel like I accomplished something that’s good for me.
    Another thing I like to do is browse through spotify, pandora music, etc, and put together a playlist of songs I like that I haven’t heard before. It kills a lot of time and gives me something enjoyable to focus on.

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  5. Hi V! I journal in a specific book by Knock Knock. The journal is specific for anxiety. I find the quotes that are in it very comforting and relatable. I am a very big horror movie fan, so I will binge watch horror movies on Netflix or Hulu. Sometimes, I need to do something that requires me to focus more of my attention, so I will cook something to snack on or play a video game that requires a lot of my concentration. I try to avoid things that seem relaxing, but to me, give me more time with the feelings and thoughts that I am trying to escape from. For example, I won’t take a bath or calming shower. If my racing thoughts and anxious feelings are really consuming, I watch something happy and uplifting-for me this is binge watching The Golden Girls and playing with my dog. I hope you find comfort!

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  6. Learning to manage anxiety is a challenge. I am still figuring it out! Things that help me: talking to a friend, laughter, music, meditation, massage, a hot shower, writing/journaling, doing things that make me happy, serving others, recognizing and avoiding triggers, monitoring my anxiety level (mild anxiety = self-soothing or distraction, medium anxiety = external support, high anxiety = medication). Everyone finds different things that help. You are on a journey! And you are not alone! Hope you are able to find answers and support from others. Thanks for reaching out!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Decided to check out your blog as a thanks for liking my post, and this spoke to me right away.
    After two years of making HUGE progress with my anxiety, I’ve spent the last month or so in a state of almost constant fear, anxiety, and depression.
    The good news is that I now know (and can tell you) there is another side to this and it WILL pass. But the minute to minute struggle of everyday life right now is so overwhelming it’s hard to think about things being better.
    For now I’m seeing my therapist more often, turning on my light box, using my diffuser nightly, listening to calming music, and breathing deeply.
    You’re not alone!

    Liked by 1 person

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