Day 49: Stress eating my way through unemployment.

Stress eating is a real issue for me. I’m sad to even say that out loud. When I get stressed I start to eat. And when I start eating, I don’t stop.

Last night I ate an entire bag of fuzzy peach candies at 2 am. Why? I can’t tell you why as I don’t even know myself.

After I was unceremoniously fired on New Year’s Eve, I remember going home and eating an entire pie. The feeling of stress that I felt that day hasn’t really gone away, or even lessened for that matter. I would say that, if anything, it’s increased.

On paper I have an extremely strong resume. In person I am an even stronger candidate. Somehow, though, I can’t seem to figure this job market out. And I’m noticing that I really like to stress eat. Most times not even realizing that I am doing so.

My mom, bless her heart is going through chemotherapy treatments right now, has been continually trying to pump up my mood, every day. Every day. I do have some incredibly loving and wonderful people in my life. I do. And when I am around them, it’s a welcome distraction and what I need to keep myself moving forward.

Those moments when I am alone, though… those are the moments I don’t trust myself. Those are the moments when the stress eating happens.

I wish that I could retrain my psyche to tell me I need to spend 5 hours in the gym every time I get stressed. I wish I could retrain my mind to stop reaching for food. Oh, we’re all a little flawed somehow. Me, I have no will power. When things go wrong, I reach for food.

It’s not good. I know. I’ve been lectured on it enough in my life. But hey, at least it’s not cocaine or something stupid like that. That’s all I’m telling myself for now. At least until life calms down a little…. until my mom’s cancer is in remission, until I’m a member of the working class once again… until I can wake up in the morning and be excited for the day ahead.

For now, in the words of Dory, I ‘just keep swimming’.

8 thoughts on “Day 49: Stress eating my way through unemployment.

  1. Reblogged this on Notes and commented:
    I don’t know if you like to discuss your love life with complete strangers on a public blog. But something came to my mind that has worked for me for years in my 20’s. Before being interested in love, I always used to have at least 2 to 3 jobs and then I’d have some other employers in line waiting for me to quit any one of my jobs so that I can join them. This was only possible if I always kept on my toes i.e. never stopping to look for a job even when I am on a job comfortably. See if you can try this tip 🙂

    Today in my 40’s, I operate totally differently. Today, I believe in having the love of my life, someone whom I can trust my life, job, career, money and my soul. Having that other half around, I think I will feel less stressed and actually more self-confident. Don’t know if this tip works for you but the one I mentioned above, is tried and tested for many many years without a single “binge-eating” or “binge-drinking” stressful day or night .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. One thing: your health. Many a person who didn’t watch what they put in ended up in ER. What you put in your body really matters. Friends of mine, with heart attacks and strokes, learned the hard way. Hope you don’t have to endure any of this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your sweet advice. I am making sure to look after myself. I do appreciate you looking out for me though, a total stranger. You’re a good soul. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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