Fuck you, anxiety.

I woke up today anxious.

I have no reason to be anxious. There’s nothing wrong. I’m not waiting on news. I’m not in peril. I’m not in pain. My family and friends are all alright. What is wrong? Why is my anxiety through the roof right now? I don’t know.

Perhaps that’s the thing that pisses me off about anxiety. When there’s something clearly wrong with me I am able to work through and figure out how to de-stress my life, my self or my surroundings. But anxiety doesn’t always work like that. Anxiety works like a massive ninja that sneaks up on you like a massive ninja when you least expect it, leaving you distraught, unsettled and frustrated with life.

I’m not sure how much I’ll do today or how far I’ll go. Perhaps my time is best spent at home, looking after myself. I don’t know.. we’ll see.

29 thoughts on “Fuck you, anxiety.

  1. The fact that you put it in words shows you really give a fuck about it.So better live it,endear it and finally we all overhaul it no matter where it lands you.
    And this is wholly subjective issue.I hope you will deal with it elegantly

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Notes and commented:
    I blame such a surprise (anxiety sneaking up to me without a reason) to me not having someone to love with a deep connection. Others may have different reasons or explanations to that mystery.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been told by my doctor that they go hand in hand. I’ve always had a hard time falling asleep. Always! I will lay awake for hours on end before I fall asleep.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. My mom was not sleeping well, and her sleep has improved, too. I would recommend reducing your eating window to 8 hours. (such as eating during the hours 10 am – 6 pm). Stop eating 2 hours before bed. Get some blue light-blocking glasses. TrueDark glasses block out 99% of blue light and double your deep sleep. Have a teaspoon of raw honey right before bed. Get a Bulletproof sleep induction mat. It stimulates your acupressure pressure points which is relaxing. You lay on it for 15 minutes before bed. You can even briefly stand on it for stress relief. Put away electronics an hour before bed. Take a shower or a bath because it draws blood to your skin and drops your body temperature. Lavender essential oil calms the body. Also, diet contributes to anxiety. I recommend The Plant Paradox “yes list.” If you take care of your good gut bacteria, they take care of you.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank You! I just had to google what a bulletproof sleep induction mat was, I’ve never heard of that before. I’m going to try out some of your suggestions.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I sympathize, hon! My depression years ago turned into anxiety and eventually manifested into the dreaded panic disorder I have today. And of course, the beautiful thing is it spills over into other areas of your life, which is why I battle mild agoraphobia now, too. I wrote how it feels like you are trying to maneuver a minefield so as not to trigger an anxiety attack, but sometimes the little bastard’s just come on out of the blue. I’ve woke up that way more times than I’d care to admit. The sun is shining through the window, the weather is beautiful, I open my eyes, and instantly feel like there is someone sitting on my chest and I can’t catch my breath. I’m an old broad; been going through this long enough that I know when it happens it’s a sign I haven’t been taking care of myself again. I’m either worrying too much about someone else’s problems, fretting too much over my own, beating myself up about something I felt I shouldn’t have done or didn’t do, or have started viewing the world as a hostile environment that’s against me. Find your happy place, hon. I know that is easier sad than done, but we all have one. Shut your phone off. Spend a day caring for yourself. I can almost guarantee, even though you may not feel like there’s any reason for it coming on, that your mind and body is exhausted over something and that’s its way of telling you.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. It’s the same these days with me and my depression. Huge fights, ‘go away, leave me alone, I have a good life, you have no reason to be here’. You think She listens? Hugs, my new overly sentimental Friend!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I’ve spent ages doing the same, fighting against both anxiety and depression. Gradually I’m trying to shift away from that (because “what you resist, persists”). Instead, I’m trying to go with acceptance and some gentle self-compassion. I will never say that this is easy, but to the degree I can manage it, it helps more than any other approach I’ve tried.

        Sending you good wishes–I know what you are experiencing, and it’ so hard!

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Perhaps it is a ninja that sends the anxiety laden knives into your thought stream. Mine certainly did. Try watching the ninja at work…see his patterns…then watch him and watch yourself over time transform…when you finally see him for what he really is and for what you really are… some day, you might even invite him to sit for tea…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Life is a cycle of up and down. Every morning, we are born again. Don’t be unhappy with the norm, otherwise unhappiness will be a norm. Be happy, and continue that feeling into the future. Everything else is secondary.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. totally get it! i’ve found often i have anxiety the day after I have too much wine. also, of course, i can often tie it to my hormones/periods… and sometimes it just happens… randomly. i truly hate it.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. That anxiety, it gets to me too. I have so many goals set for my life and anxiety and other mental illness problems just want to get in the way. Just getting a lot of rest and practicing self care right now. Stay happy, keep laughing.

    Liked by 1 person

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