I’m anxious.
My mind won’t calm down, no matter what I do. I start by asking myself questions about what arrangement is correct for my cover-letter and my thoughts quickly spiral into asking what happens if my mom’s treatments don’t take. To say it’s out of control would be an understatement and there’s really nothing that I can do about it.
I’m uneasy.
It’s difficult trying to play-the-game in a world that seems anything but fair or realistic. What’s really easy for me these days is feeling like I am the problem. Feeling like there is something wrong with me, that is something that I can’t shake.
I’m frustrated.
This situation that I’m presently in is weighing on my heart. I want my own space. I want to know that the future is going to be positive. I want a sign of when this is all going to be over and when I can breathe easy again. There’s this weight that’s permanently hanging over me, the weight of depression, slowly eating away at my happy moments each and every day. I don’t want to continue like this because I don’t know how long it’s going to be before my happiness disappears all together.
I realize this sounds exceptionally dramatic. I’m not even trying to be that way, it’s just how today is happening for me. Nothing seems like a small deal and everything feels as though I need to conquer the world to make it through.
Maybe I am the problem. Maybe I am not supposed to be happy. Maybe this is as good as it gets. It sucks that I’m really starting to believe myself when I say that.
Sometimes – especially when it feels like things are spiraling out of control – I try and focus on what it is I can control. Sometimes, breathing is the only thing I can control…so, I do that.
I hope things get better.
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Thank you. I should really be focusing on what I can control. You’re absolutely right. ❤
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It’s hard, I get it. I have to stop myself sometimes and just focus on breathing, so I can remind myself that there is so much I can’t control and I just need to do the best that I can.
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I think thats the best we can do in sich situation. I DO IT MYSELF.
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I don’t have all the answers either … sometimes when I’m getting caught up in my mind I have to remind myself that I need to zoom out and step back a bit. Nothing is as severe or horrible as it feels in those moments. So I make myself a cup of tea and sit outside in the sunshine and take a breath.
The lady at my dentist office always says, :’This, too shall pass.’ I really like it.
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Thank you! If it wasn’t freaking cold in Canada I probably would love to take tea and go sit outside in the sun. I appreciate the sentiment, though. Your kindness is really amazing ❤
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Virginia gave us 22C with sunshine/blue sky today.
Here have some. 🌞☀️🌞☀️
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Hey we all have these moments, you’re not alone. Just remember that you are valued and loved. Do a power pose or two to beef up that confidence! I also love yoga for this…
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I love Yoga too. Thank you for the pep talk!
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Tomorrow is a new day, and it’s filled with so much potential. Today things got the better of you and that’s ok. 🙂
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Thank you for your very sweet comment ❤
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This post just sums it up. Them feels. Anyway keep your head up or keep your head down and keep writing these great blogs
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Thank you ❤ Trying to keep them feels in check!
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I was in your situation for a long time. I know how you feel.
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❤ Solidarity Sister
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You have so much going for you. You are an exceptional writer, and you have valuable experience. The “secret sauce” of any interview/application is to pretend like you’re telling your employer about a loved one (when you’re talking about yourself). I know you would do anything for those two babies you have fallen in love with — even before they have come out of the womb. Imagine your 5-year-old self. What would you tell an employer her? She is amazing and talented, and they would be fools to let her go, right? Make them feel that they would be missing out on your exceptional talents and abilities. You have a lot to share, and you could take it elsewhere if they don’t jump on your offer.
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You’re pretty fantastic at pep talks, do you know that? Thank you for always being so kind to me. You’re such a good soul ❤
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Awww ❤️ I say what I know to be true. You are a good soul, too, V!
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I have days were I feel like this too and I guess a lot of people have these days… This life in this world is just not fair. I just try to find the beauty in little every day things I know that sounds super cheesy and its such an overused phrase. And I guess when you are in a dark hole like that, its very hard to even see these things … Like the smile of a random person or the sound of birds or the sunset. I try to really focus on these things and try to be in the moment with them, because at the end of the day thats all we have, it’s this moment.
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Thank you ❤ I'm trying to spot the small positives in each day. It's working much better today than it was yesterday, that's for sure.
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Learning to not worry over all things, big or small, that I can’t control has been a life long journey. Those who suffer from and understand how self-inflicted anxiety affects us is where I found inspiration. Not to find sorrow, excuses or to wallow in self-pity but to find encouragement. You are not alone. Mindset, I have and will take control of me. A fight that I’ve already predetermined that I will win, regardless. Blogging about it has been therapy for me and I’m not ashamed of my condition, my story. I don’t blog for anybody but myself, only to hope that my story encourages others to do the same. Finding happiness, peace, and self-love is easier than you think…You just have to allow yourself to truly want it! By blogging about it, you’re already on your way to Be_again.
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You’re a very insightful soul. Thank you for your response and for really making me think this morning. ❤
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I’m new to your blog but I already feel like we have so much in common.😛 You write beautifully. Keep it up! I hope tomorrow is a better day.
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Thank you so much, sweet stranger ❤
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Thank you for sharing this. It helps knowing we aren’t all alone in our pain
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Don’t over think .. focus on one thing at a time.. . Life is alway changing just take it day by day.,
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Trying! Thank you for your words of wisdom. ❤
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❤️
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Hey, hope you get atleast one answer so that your anxiety has some rest…and that is to distract your mimd from the problem looming over your mind or the situation you are in(depression) and the best way to do that is to try focusing on something you are very good at and have mastery in. It will be in your control.
Other thing I do is take a hot shower and tat relaxes me instantly and I feel fresh to think something difgerent and then get myself a cup of coffee and enjoy it in my balcony or 2atch a movie.
Don’t ever think yourself to be lonely. We all are in it, together. We will hopd hands when one is in need and feeling low.
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You’re a sweet soul. Thank you for your kind response and making me smile today.
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Thanks for feeling that way for me. Actually peoplewho suffer pain can understand it. So just wanted to know we all are there with you.
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You are absolutely not the problem. And you are absolutely meant to be happy.
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You’re a sweet soul. Thank you for leaving such a nice comment and making me smile ❤
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I have spiraling days like this far too often. Once the day has passed, I tend to realize I was focused too hard on the things that were beyond my control. It is hard, and I fail all the time. But I am trying to get better at focusing only on the things i can control. My breathing, my reactions, my heart rate. Focus on an object I can touch. Something I can see. Look at the grass or a bright color somewhere that is distracting. Sometimes it really works to get me out of that moment.
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I Feel the same. I’m freaking out all the time and mad all the time for things I can’t control. And hate feeling mad and sad and angry. This adulthood thing is horrible. Thank you for your words and please feel better and seek help. Therapy always help and what I’m doing is music therapy at least in my car o when I’m about to sleep. 💕 feel better. P
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