Thoughts from 30,000 feet.

Can men and women be just friends? In 2019 it still seems as though the world really can’t grasp the concept of a man and a woman being friends without wanting more from one another. Platonic love does exist. Some friends are just there for you, to be there for you… regardless of what their gender is those desires to look after your friend are still the same.

Still, begrudgingly, the inquiries about ‘what really goes on’ between two people of the opposite sex as though a man and a woman can’t be in the same room alone with one another without tearing off their clothing.

I guess I should rephrase my question. Why can’t men and women be friends?

29 thoughts on “Thoughts from 30,000 feet.

    1. Oh, yes. I completely understand that. I hate when people don’t think that a gay man can be friends with a straight man. My explanation, I guess, is just with a current struggle I’m having personally. That being said, it most definitely does happen more than just to me!

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  1. Of course they can be. And they should be. It is natural to be attracted by the opposite sex. But that doesn’t and shouldn’t mean tearing off your clothes … ha ha ha…I have experienced such beautiful and uplifting relationships without even a hint of anything except being friends …
    enjoy your solo trip and the family Vee

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    1. Thanks, friend. I just wish people would accept it when it happens, rather than trying to pry, ya know? “What else is going on?” Nothing. Nothing at all. haha

      And the trip has been amazing! I don’t want to go home!

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      1. Oh I am so glad for you Vee. Enjoy yourself. This change will do you immense good.

        You shall always remain very special for me. You were the first blogger to comment on my posts 😊🤗

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I totally understand what you mean, in a slightly different way. Being gay, I have a male best friend that I always hang out with, so everyone always assumes we’re a couple. I’ve been asked more times than I can count. *sigh*

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    1. That sounds incredibly annoying and sooooooo very presumptuous. I would get snappy about that real quick. Like… just because someone is a guy does not mean that you’re attracted to them. That’s not how attraction works, yet people just don’t seem to understand! It’s stupid.

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  3. Valid point. Two of my closest friends are men, excluding my husband. When we go out to dinner or a movie or even ice skating, everyone assumes we’re either together, or once they see my wedding and engagement rings (they’re both single, so no rings), it’s assumed we’re having an affair. I’ve known both of these men for almost 20 years, and I cherish my friendships with them.

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    1. Oh, you must be having an affair, right? Because why would one woman hang out with a single man for any other reason? That’s so ridiculous. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. People really just need to either mind their own business, or understand all on their own that just because someone is of the opposite sex, does not mean you want to have sex with them.

      I’m starting to think people only think this way because perhaps they don’t have friends of the opposite sex? Who knows. Either way though, I would get so snippy if I was you and I was out with my friend and people thought we were together. haha

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      1. It’s even funnier as my husband works in a restaurant, and my one friend and I will often go there for dinner and drinks. For quite some time his servers assumed that I was my sister and I was on a date. Wat. The logical jumps that they had to make are mind boggling.

        You may be right with the idea that they don’t have friends of the opposite sex. I do know a few couples where one won’t let their spouse have friends of the opposite sex. People are ridiculous.

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  4. Completely get this! I get on better with men than women generally speaking and I have certain male friends that I see just as that, the feeling is mutual. As an only child I have no idea what the love of a sibling is truly like but I’d consider one of these men as close to a brother as it is possible to be. We laugh till we cry and have travelled around Europe together. Nothing more than friendship, just the best of friends. I love him dearly, his girlfriend is very understanding and has also become a good friend! 🙂 Great post! I wish more people could be open-minded to the idea of non-sexual based friendships between men/women (insert relevant sexual preference selection here).

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    1. I too am an only child but had a very different experience. I don’t think my parents would have been okay with me being friends with boys. They were super strict which is part of the reason I needed to move out and get away so I could breathe. To this day I have trust issues and haven’t had he best experiences with platonic relationships with boys.

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      1. I am the only girl and I have a whackload of brothers (haha). From that perspective, I’ve always had a lot of male friends in my life because there’s always been a lot of males around. I guess it’s all about experience, though. There’s definitely some men in this world incapable of a friendship with the opposite sex. But, there are also a lot of men who make the best of friends. I guess you just know who you’re dealing with when you’re dealing with them.

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      2. I have four biological brothers. My parents also raised two of my male cousins, and though they’re not legally my siblings, our relationship is still very much brother/sister.

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      3. You come from a big family. I wish I did. I hated being an only child. It was so lonely and boring. To make matters worse, my 4 cousins that lived down the street were spoiled rotten and rich. Because we are different families, I was left out. I was close to a couple of my cousins but didn’t get to spend much time with them, and the rest of my cousins are much older than me. I basically grew up around adults and feel like I’m an old person trapped in a younger person’s body.

        I envy you. Even if I’m surrounded by all boys… I would take that over being an only child ANY DAY.

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      4. It’s so interesting how similar circumstances can work out so differently. My primary school class only had a handful of boys in so I initially found it very difficult to interact with boys as a teenager… Everything changed for me when I moved away to university, I was the only girl on my course and had no choice but to trust in them as friends or else my 3 years of education could have been extremely lonely. The best ones I have found share some of my passions for gaming or fan culture (e.g. Game of Thrones) so we have loads to talk about and build a friendship over, rather than there being a potential for romance than didn’t happen. I hope you have better experiences in future. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without the influence of some of my best male friends. They’ve helped me to be happy being me. All the best, Luna xx

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      5. My husband and I just started watching Game of Thrones. Only on season one, episode 4 (sad, I know). We wanted to see why our friends like it so much. People say that some of the best memories happen in University. I’m curious to know what you studied. My husband studied engineering and he said there were a handful of girls in his class but not many. He ended up being good friends with them in a purely platonic way. Also his best friend in high school was a girl. I also enjoy gaming and some fan culture (mostly anime). I’m happy that you had a good experience and I’ll keep an open mind when meeting new people in the future. I could definitely use some new friends. -Hilary

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      6. Oh wow what a journey you’ve got ahead of you!!! Literally my favourite TV series of all time! Good luck, I’m sure you’ll be hooked in no time! I studied Music and Animation. It was a the music side of the course that was all-male other than me. Oooo a fellow gamer! Awesome news, what do you enjoy playing? Any specific games/genres? If you have ever been to a ComicCon/AniCon they’re great places to meet like minded nerdy platonic people! 😁 Xx

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      7. Music and animation sounds awesome! Are you currently working in this field? I love EDM and am wondering if you make music like this? Also love listening to chillstep during deep study sessions etc. It calms my wandering mind.

        My husband is a big fan of Harry Potter so I’m familiar with your blog name, even though I wasn’t big into Harry Potter. Luna was one of his favorite characters. As for gaming, my tastes are different than his. He likes the Pokémon games and sports games. Pokemon was OK but it wasn’t much of a challenge for me. My all time favorite game is Okami. I had that game for PS2 and repurchased it for PS4 which I finished playing a few days ago. I love the graphics and Japanese folklore. If you haven’t played Okami, then I highly recommend it. I prefer JRPG’s in terms of gaming. I haven’t personally been to Comic Con or Anime North (what we have here) but I’ve always wanted to go to one. My friends are boring so I don’t have anyone to go with.

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  5. I hear you. I really do!

    Perhaps people don’t understand because they’ve never experienced it themselves. I’m not too sure. That, in itself, is being rather presumptuous of me. I just need to learn how to approach the subject when trying to teach people that friendship does not need to be based on your gender/sexual preferences.

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  6. I have friends who say they are lez and that’s okay because they are girls so if I hang out with a girl who is lez nobody cares. But if I hang out with a boy who isn’t my husband, that’s not okay? Just because he is male regardless of his sexual orientation? Society has double standards here.

    For me, I don’t really have guy friends. Guys who have tried to be friends with me have either been disrespectful or have crossed boundaries that I consider inappropriate. Any guy who has attempted to be my friend since I’ve dated my now husband have tried hitting on me. This has been my experience anyways. Yet when I was single, nobody seemed to notice me. Guys didn’t seem to have much of an interest UNTIL I was in a relationship. Why is that?

    If you have guy friends in a truly platonic way, there’s NOTHING wrong with that. I think you’re lucky if you have guy friends who respect you. As for me, I’m not friends with any of my ex’s because they were jerks.

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  7. My best friend is a guy. We are both straight, yet there is no romantic attraction between us. We have been best friends for almost a year now and we just get along great. We support each other when we happen to like someone and give each other feedback on what we think of that person. I do get where you are coming from, though. Many, MANY people think we are dating because we are roommates and spend all of our time together and we have just learned to embrace it. Let people think what they want to think, all I know is that he is my best friend and it has been working out just fine for us.

    The first time I brought him home with me and introduced his as my best friend all of my family started questioning me. “So, do you like him? Does he like you? Isn’t it awkward?” Like, noooooo its literally just like having a female best friend but he’s built different, you know what I mean lol. Besides, I have always gotten along better with guys, I’ve always been one of the ‘boys.’

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