The struggles of being female part three.

There are some very real struggles that come with being female. I’ve written two posts about this in the past, and I’ve been feeling the struggle this week so I was motivated to add more to the list.

This was meant to be both satirical and serious, but the majority of them ended up being more serious than satirical. Either way, these are some very real struggles that come with being female.

  1. When women are mean to other women. This drives me crazy, and I really hope I’m not the only one to feel this way. I’m of the belief that, as females, we should be bringing each other up, not tearing each other down. Empowerment, that’s what the world needs more of.
  2. Crop tops. I hope I’m not alone in this. As a 30 year old female, I am passed the stage in my life in which I would like to be wearing half-a-shirt. Crop tops seem to be having ‘a minute’ right now, and they’re all I seem to find in every store that I go. What drives me even crazier about crop tops is that they’re essentially half of a shirt, and they seem to cost twice as much as the equivalent in the men’s section. While in a store called ‘Journeys’ the other day, a men’s Champion brand hoodie was $40. A women’s cropped champion hoodie (half a hoodie) was $86. How does that make any sense? I want a full shirt.
  3. Double standards. If a man sleeps with a lot of women, he’s seen as a ‘hero’ so to speak. If a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she’s treated as though she’s a whore. If a man marries a younger woman, he’s again seen as a ‘hero’ for landing a younger woman. If a woman marries a younger man, she’s seen as taking advantage, or gross, or any one of the mecca of negativity society places on her. Why is it right for men and wrong for women? Look at how women are reacting to the Priyanka Chopra/Nick Jonas marriage. Why do so many people take such issue with it? Why does it matter?
  4. Employers/potential employers asking inappropriate questions that are none of their business. Three days ago, I made the mistake of answering the phone for an unknown number and it was the CEO of a company that I’d applied for a position with. Over the course of the forty minutes that we spoke, I proclaimed that I was wanting to relocate to be closer to my boyfriend. He then decided it was an appropriate question to ask me when I plan on having children. I can’t even begin to explain the ways in which that is inappropriate, uncalled for and none of his damn business. I don’t think he appreciated my answer, and I think he knew he pissed me off. Though we spoke of the prospect of me coming for an interview, I have yet to hear anything from him since. Which is fine. If that’s how an employer operates, I likely don’t want to work there anyway.
  5. ‘Don’t be so emotional’. Firstly, I take issue with this statement being thrown at women because of the fact that it paints the subject of being emotional as being a negative trait. There’s nothing wrong with being in touch with your emotions. Women, females, girls alike are kind, caring and giving. And being emotional helps contribute to that kindness and caring that we give to the world. Secondly, I take issue with this statement being thrown at women because it contributes to the culture of toxic-masculinity that instills a belief in men they’re not allowed to be emotional. Being emotional is not a negative thing.
  6. Why is makeup and skincare so darn expensive? I love collecting makeup, I really do. I love dolling myself up, I love trying different types of skincare and seeing what works and what doesn’t. It seems ridiculous to me that we’re in a time where a Drugstore Foundation costs $20.99 and Sephora Foundations can cost $200. Economically speaking, there’s no need for the markups on these products to be so high. Companies are taking advantage of us because they know they can.
  7. Walking alone after dark can be really scary. It is. If you’re a female and you’ve ever had to do this, on a creepy street, on a dark street, right downtown the city, you likely know what it’s like to walk with your keys in your knuckles, or to call someone while you’re walking just so that you have someone to talk you through your walk. You know what it’s like to want to park as close to the door as possible, or under the nearest streetlamp so that it’s not as dark. It’s not that I’m overly fearful of the world, it’s just that if you take the proper precautionary steps, you can avoid running into bad situations.
  8. Fake pockets in women’s pants. This one makes me so ragey! I want my pockets. Why you gotta play me like this? I have things I need to carry. Why are so many women’s pants made to look as though they have pockets when they really don’t?
  9. Trying to understand what goes on inside the mind’s of men at any given moment in time. Because you can see the wheels spinning in their head, you ask them what’s up, what they’re thinking or how they’re feeling and you’re hit with ‘Not much, nothing and fine’. You know that’s not the full answer, but you can’t force them to tell you anything.

Read previous installments here:

9 Struggles that come with being a girl >

The Struggles of being a girl, part two >

25 thoughts on “The struggles of being female part three.

  1. Brilliant blog!
    Believe me though, the reason we generally say we’re not thinking about anything is because we’re not. We’d hang up a ‘Vacant’ sign if we had one. Honestly, I spend three quarters of my life with absolutely nothing going on between my ears.
    PS I had no idea about fake pockets!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Oh my god FAKE POCKETS WHY!? And when they’re not fake they’re usually only big enough for like a chapstick or something. And, I’m sorry, why do we need our asses bedazzled? WHY!?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Can well imagine all these struggles Vee but am sure there are some benefits of being females too.
    Females being nasty to females always bothered me too. Have always wondered about it.
    And am with you for cropped shirts 😜 less than half costing double 😌
    Such is life….
    I do hope you relocate near your boy friend soon.
    I would like to share a story : some years back I met a girl from NY at a wedding in Delhi. We talked for a few minutes only but hit off well. She was interested in learning to meditate and we kept in touch on mail and Whatsapp. And she thinks I am a wise and caring person 😊
    Two years back she told me that she was lost and confused. Her boy friend lived in Vancouver and she had lived all her life in NY and had good professional career. She had lots of questions and fears but I told her that the choice was simple. Either she really loved that person or she didn’t. If she loved him she should move to Vancouver. If there was hesitation that meant she didn’t love him completely. I could connect with her and she moved. Now they have a beautiful daughter a few months old and L has started her professional career once a week. And she is so thankful to me 😊
    So my dear if your love is strong enough move closer. Life has to be lived today. Every day matters.
    I shared this quote from Henry David Thoreau in one of my posts : If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavour to live the life you have imagined, you will meet with success unexpected in common hours …
    All the best. Stay happy Vee. Love 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a beautiful story. I’m so happy to hear that your friend’s happily ever after is working out for her!

      I hope you know that I’m already in the works of taking your advice. My plan is to make sure my mom is good and healthy and back to her old self and then Knight and I are moving to a new city for the both of us for a fresh start! It will be splendid.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. UUUUUGGGGGHHHH “Why are you so emotional?” My current pet peeve.
    I just wrote a blog post about this last week. I cannot STAND this question. Has anyone ever asked a man, in the midst of an angry tirade, why he was so emotional?? Of course not. What in the actual hell is wrong with society?

    Like

  5. I like this. You eloquently express the problems of being female but with a sense of humor. My husband, who is 2 1/2 years younger than me, always says these things about marrying a younger man in a joking way. I like his sense of humor, but if men (because they’re usually men) are serious about having a “toy boy”, that’s definitely sexist.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I got a kick out of this post. 🙂 My ex-husband was 14 years younger than I am. It was great in all kinds of ways. ;P There’s a trend these days that drives me crazy!!! I’m nearing 50. We won’t talk about how close… lol Anyway, there is this thing with REALLY young guys wanting to date and hook up with women my age. When you’re in your 40s and being hit on by guys young enough to be your child… and some barely out of high school, it hits that EWWW factor big time. It’s not flattering after a the first few times. Being young and hard bodied doesn’t make you god’s gift to women!

    FYI: That interviewer asking you about relationship status and children is illegal in the US. It’s discrimination based on gender and a few other things. You can and should refuse to answer questions like that in the future.

    Like

    1. Really? Like twenty? That’s funny. I get hit on by a lot of older men – 50s and 60s and I just assumed that’s how all guys were because that’s how I’ve always experienced it. Lol

      I think it’s awesome when a woman winds up with a younger man because the more common it becomes the less stupid people will react to it. I’m sure having a younger husband has its perks! Haha

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It certainly did!!!! I’m remarried now with a man 5 years older. More in the classic way of doing things.

        Seriously, guys like 18 and 19 at the youngest hit on me! It’s unreal!!! It was flattering at first. Then as I talked to more and more women in my age group, I found out that it’s a trend thiese days. Apparenlty MILFs are hot?! lmao Get an older woman who can teach you the ways of the world? I dunno. Yeah, older men definitely like the younger women. I’m at that age where the older men hitting on me are in that geriatric stage of 70+. I have no words, V. Really. lol

        Like

  7. I agree with all the things you mentioned. One thing I hate is the fact that everything a woman says or does is “acting out of emotion”. I got a couple of tattoos recently and my brother gets overly upset saying things like, “if you’re going through something there’s other ways to deal with it.” What?

    Like

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