To clarify, when I speak of my anxiety, it’s because the coping mechanisms that I usually use to work through my anxiety aren’t working.
I have a job interview today. It was 95% of the reason why I was anxious last night and is 100% of the reason why I am anxious today.
On the one hand, I’m thinking ‘hey, potential job prospect, this is great!’ And ‘I really hope this isn’t like the scam I walked into, and wasted my time at, in May’.
On the other hand, I’m thinking ‘hey, this is nowhere near Calgary and I have goals and plans for my life. If I accepted a job like this, would it stray me from my goals?’
And then there’s a nagging insecurity in my brain saying ‘Don’t just think you’re going to get this job, no one else wants to hire you so why would they?’
Realistically, the only thing that I can do is go into this job interview with an open mind. If I hope for the best then I can figure the rest out after. It’s just dealing with these nagging feelings of anxiety inside that I struggle with. I haven’t quiet yet figured out how to tackle all of my triggers, so there are times when I let my fears see light.
Speaking of good news (smooth transitions only, right), my mom went to the cancer clinic today for her follow up appointment. She’s required to do follow ups ‘x’ amount of days after finishing treatment and then every six months for two years and then once a year for five years following that (just to make sure that the cancer doesn’t return). Anyways, in her follow up appointment today they told her that she’s healing remarkably well, there’s no sign of recurring cells and they’re very impressed with her health at this point.
So that’s great!
It’s a rainy, gloomy day here. I’m trying to stay positive though.
There’s a lot to be thankful for. Mainly my mom’s health. I know not everyone gets so lucky when it comes to cancer, and our family is eternally grateful.