27 thoughts on “

  1. If it is any solace : You aren’t the only one V! Bulk of humanity is a prisoner of their own thoughts; which is life!! And they aren’t even aware that they are aren’t free.
    You are aware and that is so awesome. Now there is a real opportunity of your breaking free.
    All the very best V. You do remain in my prayers 🤗

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Once you’re aware, then you’re able to find the key!! So the hard part is over at least. 🥰🥰🥰 I’d let you borrow mine, but I’ll prob need to find it again in the future. Lol!! It’s also bent sideways and duct taped together. 🤣🤣🤣
      Sending good vibes!! 🥰🥰🥰

      Liked by 2 people

      1. 2019 has been a dud of a year for me as well but I refuse to believe that 2020 will be a dud too. Things haven’t been the way I wanted them to be so now I’m just going with the flow. My mind is more blank these days and filled with less chatter, where before there was constant chatter. The tinnitus is always there sadly but that’s another issue.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nothing like a quiet mind Hilary. Five months are still there my friend. And a lot can happen even in one day.
        I love your enthusiasm and outlook on life Hilary. God be with you 🤗🙏

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  2. I get that feeling a lot. When I feel really trapped in my life, I try to focus on things I have power over. That can be tricky, especially when I feel like I don’t have power over my thoughts and feelings. I don’t know if that’s where you’re at, but that’s when I start small. John Forbes Nash talks about “enforced rationality.” I won’t explain what that is here because this is a small text box and it’s a large concept, but reading about that has helped me tremendously, and focusing on an objective, external reality and how I want to function within that takes me back to a level where I can start to work on that trapped feeling. Good luck and much brotherly love!

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  3. I’ve described it my whole life as being in prison with the door wide open. The truth is we can get up and walk out at any time… we are truly free but those damn emotions voice disagreement.

    That is because our feelings are tied to our subconscious beliefs… I call them “the committee”, who are the first responders to everything in life and get trained to say “oh crap” instead of “bring-it”. We end up getting shoved around in life instead of taking bold control over our situations.

    It is a journey that takes time, but the beautiful thing is that neuroscience has proven that the neuroplasticity (I love that word) of the brain means that no matter how many years or decades the committee has had free reign over our life, we can take control back!

    What many people don’t realize is that we have 2 separate war-fronts. The mind in the form of negative self-talk and unhelpful thinking patterns, but also our body stores past traumas, so the feelings can pop up when nothing at all is wrong.

    A sometimes quick and easy trick I use is to ask myself “if I felt free today, what would I like to do”, then go do it. That gives our committee new information to process that says “last time I didn’t feel free it turns out I actually was… who knew” LOL.

    Doing counter-exercises to the way we feel can have cumulative and lasting “overwrite bad tapes” effect. Unfortunately, we can’t “think” our way out of these feelings, we must do something experiential that shows our committee that “they were mistaken”.

    Sorry, I love this stuff and ramble on, prayers you find peace, I know it is a sucky-a** feeling

    Liked by 2 people

  4. V, I’m sorry you feel this way. Honestly, I have days like this. Locked in to commitments, begrudgingly committing the act of “routine”, no highs, no lows, just an overwhelming, grey existence.

    My latest trend with my emotionally in tune friends is to ask them the following, and maybe it’ll help…

    Think of the greatest people you know. They can be famous, historical, friends, family, anyone.

    Think of the worst people you know. Same rules apply.

    Now, you have to realize, all of these folks, good and bad, are just people.
    The differences between them are the choices they make. You are your own catalyst. And has been said, it takes small steps, one day at a time.

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