Who would miss you?

This is something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I read a post a few weeks back in which the blogger asked: if you quit blogging, who would miss you? It got me thinking about blogging, yes, but it also got me thinking about my life in general.

Please don’t take this the wrong way, this is not a cry for help. I’ve always just thought of myself as a person who would have no issues just… running away and never coming back. Kind of like how my grandfather moved away from his family, came to Canada on his own and made his own life here, never to return to his home country.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like… to just, relocate. Maybe find an exotic locale somewhere on the globe and build myself a soft spot to land.

Would anyone miss me? I’m not sure. I think my mom might, but I also think that she might get over it after a while.

I’m well aware that I’m incredibly blessed in being born Canadian and that I do live in one of the best, most evolved, most prosperous countries on earth. My reason for leaving would not be because I don’t like it here. Instead, my reason for leaving would be to start over.

There’s a book that I love, Into the Wild, in which the main character gives up everything he’s ever known in an effort to start over, in search of his true happiness.

One of the quotes from the book, it really resonates with me.

The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. 

Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

Sometimes I think about giving it all up. Chasing an endlessly changing horizon and hoping for a new and different sun.

If you’ve ever considered it, could you do it? Could you give up everything? Some can, some can’t! Some just don’t have the ability. But if you gave up everything for a chance to start over, in a new place, with an endlessly changing horizon, who would miss you?

81 thoughts on “Who would miss you?

  1. This is a really interesting question…I know I would be very lo Ely if I were to quit blogging. Ewan would miss me, I’m guessing a few friends too. Would i want to start enough? Honestly, no. Despite some aspects in my life, I’m the best I’ve ever been.

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      1. I’d like to believe so. It is interesting that when we get asked if anyone was to miss us, most of our automatic responses are ‘nobody’ but after some thought, we realise who will actually miss us.

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      2. I don’t know. I mean I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks, and honestly, I still really don’t know. Is that sad? Maybe they would and I’m just not thinking clearly. But, it’s definitely something that makes me wonder.

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      3. Not sad at all, I often think that nobody would miss me, but after what happened last year, it’s made me realise that people will miss me if I were not around. Well, it’s safe to say I would miss you if you were no longer to blog! 💚

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    1. One would like to think. At least I would like to think. To some extent, you’re likely right. I guess then I would ask – what’s a good impact? Is that by your definition, or the person who might miss you?

      Sorry for all of the questions! I’m just filling my head with more thoughts after reading your note!

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      1. An impact is an influence or a strong effect you have on someone be it bad or good. But When you create a good impact on people your presence would be felt when you are away.

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    1. Sometimes I feel as though you really understand me, more so than the people in my day-to-day life. Here’s to you, and to strangers that make all the difference in our lives. The fact that you always seem to understand me so perfectly, it makes me feel better. So thank you for that.

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      1. Awwww, V, I’m so glad! I need to catch up on them, but I love reading your posts. I feel like I can relate and, even when I can’t, I love hearing your perspective and seeing the world through your eyes. You are so inspiring to me and I’m glad I make you feel understood. Thank YOU for sharing your journey in life, you have no idea how much it helps me and other people. ❤

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  2. Yeah but Vee, Chris McCandless ended up concluding that life is nothing without human connection. Which he only realized as he lay dying. Despite all his horizon chasing. Of course people would miss you and not just your mom. Although – I have to say – I myself know the fantasy of packing up a car and getting the hell out of dodge without telling anyone. I know that fantasy and I engage it quite often. For me it’s anxiety. Is it for you? Like the more i know myself the more I realize this “drive far away” instinct is pure anxiety, the flight part of it. So I get it, but I don’t think Into The Wild is the best example because the guy was a failure at his own aims.

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    1. While youew absolutely right he was a failure and he did change his tune a out human contact in the end, I guess I phrased my thought poorly. I don’t want to abandon humans and live in the wilderness… just make new friends and new family maybe in Vanuatu or something like that. Just start over free of the ties that bind.

      And yes it’s absolutely rooted in anxiety. You get me- you really get me.

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    1. Krakauer wrote the book the quote was in. Guess it technically is his later, I was just making reference to the book as krakauer was who put his story and his and what not into book form

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  3. Wonderful article. Thank you, dear. If you have people that really love you and care for you, you’re gonna be missed for sure and for good. Despite the fact that things have changed. The distances are not what they used to be, anymore. And the communication is simple and easy by clicking a few buttons. However you’ re gonna be missed. I’ ve done it, and i know. Take care, dear.

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    1. Thank you for your insights. Perhaps it’s just easy to believe you won’t be missed when you’re in a bad mood. I think that’s maybe where my head is at. It’s a good thing I’ve got people like you to remind me of what’s actually the case.

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  4. I’d missed you. Your words are always so deeply resonating. I’ll always wonder what happened. This is totally something I’ve considered. To just leave it all behind and change my location maybe every year. To see and breathe new things as a way of life instead. But I’m too lazy and weak to do something so bold. I guess my mom would be worried and miss me and everyone else will probably just be curious at best.

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    1. That’s kind of how I feel… my mom might miss me and others would feel curious at best. I hadn’t even thought of the possibility of changing locations annually. I just thought like… move to Australia and stay there forever. But changing places every year sounds exotic and adventurous.

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      1. Oh, that was a random country-grab at that point in time. I was watching youtuber ‘Sarah’s Day’ when I wrote that comment and she has a thick Aussie accent so I said Australia. Really, I’d love somewhere I don’t speak the language, so I would have to learn a new language and immerse myself in a totally different culture and way of life. I reckon (minus the snow) that Australia is a lot like Canada (actually).

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      2. Ahh I see, I’d recommend Amsterdam because its so different and they have the best people there!

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  5. Every life needs a project and no human is an island. Aimlessly running the rat race in service of a corporate society is what education has programmed you for. In order to regain control over your life, you’ll have to unlearn some of it. Chris McCandless went wrong by wanting to throw away all of it without acquiring adequate new skills to replace those he dismissed.

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    1. You’re absolutely right. McCandless’ idea was inherently flawed and it ended up being the end of him. I think his plan could be improved upon and possibly lead to a really fulfilling adventurous life for someone… maybe me if I ever got up the nerve.

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      1. If you have dream, you should do whatever you can to make it happen. If you don’t have one, find one. And adventure is overrated; especially when it involves things like putting your life purposelessly in danger. On the other hand, having an interesting life definitively requires people to step out of their comfort zone.

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  6. I no doubt would have people who missed me if I disappeared once again. Yes I have done this before. I picked up early one morning without a single call or conversation prior I packed up only bare necessities, started up my car, and drove away, never looking back. I was gone for ten years, traveling to and fro. Ive been to almost every state in the USA. I learned to not get attached to materialistic things and appreciation for the simplicity of life grew each day.

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    1. Wow, that sounds so amazing Elizabeth. What are the good parts? What are the bad parts? What do you recommend? What should one avoid?

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      1. Seeing just about everything you want is definitely the best part. If you don’t have a lot of cash, I would get a tent. National forests are free to camp, most other campgrounds are fairly cheap. The only bad part for me was the food. It took me a short time to realize you can’t live in fast food.i strongly suggest fried foods and nuts to pack. Jerky and dried fruit are your new best friend! The nuts are good as an alternative to the jerky. When you are stopped for a day or more id get canned foods that are already prepared or that you can eat right out if the can. Oh also, take a refillable container for water! Fast food joints have to allow you to get free water from their fountain as looking as you don’t use their cups. I would avoid unprotected sun exposure. You don’t want to be out and about with third degree burns… Believe me!!!! ( experience taking )

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  7. There is a book by Donald Miller called Through Painted Deserts. It’s his account of a journey he took where he loaded up and hit the road. I love it. Now that I have kids I don’t know if I can read it again without being sad about being tied down. That being said, I love my family and where I live. I just miss non-Mommy adventures. Another great post as always!

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    1. You honestly, could probably take your kids with you. I know someone who packed up her kids and moved to Puerto Vallarta. And she’s the happiest she’s ever been in her life and her kids are growing up as beach bums/surfers. You’re not tied down at all! If anything, think of your kids like the ultimate wingmen, to make whatever adventure you choose that much more meaningful.

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  8. Vee, I don’t know how I’m resonating with what you write and all that I’ve been reading. I’ll write something on it. But yes, it’s all about connections. And someone has been totally right in saying that nothing is a coincidence. Be it telepathy or some sign from the universe. V (We) are connecting 😊 Good to have you. Keep pouring your thoughts. Take care. Good day!

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  9. Thanks for this post! Actually, there are several independent questions. Runaway, move somewhere else, leave everything behind – in these days and age, none of this cut you from other people. I left everything behind 23 years ago when I moved to America: a single mother with three small children, three hundred dollars and five cardboard boxes of stuff (didn’t own any luggage, didn’t have money to buy). Here is this story:
    https://hettie.family/2019/06/08/why-i-decided-to-go-to-america/

    Most of my friends are still connected with me – at least the ones who really wanted to be connected. I did 12 years of intensive blogging on another platform. When I announced I am stopping active blogging, people were very upset and were telling me for weeks how wrong I am. But after all, everybody survived, and those who really wanted to follow me started following here. I helped hundreds if not thousands of people all over the world, in a dozen different ways. But I always try to make sure that those whom I have helped will be fine without me. At large, everybody should be self-sufficient. At some point in your life, it’s just you. You understand, what I mean, right:)?

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    1. I really appreciated going to the post you linked and reading your story. And yeah, I do understand what you mean. Everybody should be self-sufficient and everyone will survive. No matter what decision I decide, what matters is what I think of the matter. I guess.

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  10. Interesting. I am wondering the same. Domestically, not everyone appreciates me as much when I’m hanging around. Sometimes I wonder if anyone would think of me when I’ve gone missing. Likewise, would anyone miss my content?

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    1. It’s an easy way to think, isn’t it? Being like… no one’s going to notice if I just disappear and start a new life somewhere else.

      Sometimes though, I feel like our blogs are a fingerprint of us on the internet. Like people would be able to trace us unless we left them behind too.

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      1. I actually use my old blogs to check on what and when exactly happened, and how I did this and that’ how I fixed broken things, etc. 🙂

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  11. At first I thought you were planning to quit blogging. Last time I read a title like that, the blogger quit to focus on her career as a model. Nobody knew that she quit because she suddenly vanished and I had to ask around for answers. It was very sad. 🥀

    If you do decide to move to a new place, let people know at least. For me, I can pack up my bags and leave at any moment. Since moving out, I’ve lived in 3 different cities and rented 4 different places. After a while, you get used to it. The sad part about starting over is that I cannot get too comfortable because this isn’t my forever home. In a couple of years, we’ll be moving again and likely be leaving Canada for good. ✈️ 🌎

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    1. I don’t know, the idea in my head of just picking up everything and running away to the Maldives to sell fruit and lead the island life, that just seems all too ideal. And really, a lot of days I find myself thinking that no one would miss me, so why would do I stay?

      Where do you think you and Nick will end up?

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      1. Do you think that maybe you feel too anonymous at times and wish that somebody close to you knew about your blog? You have a HUGE family and I’m sure they would miss you a lot. At least one of them would miss you. If not direct family, nieces and nephews definitely would miss you. For me, I didn’t really think twice about moving since I didn’t really leave many people behind. I’m not close to my cousins or my parents. 🙇‍♀️

        Nick wants to move to the US or anywhere that uses US currency. I still daydream about Hawaii but would have a real hard time finding cheap, healthy food there. We are thinking Florida or Arizona. Texas is still an option (I don’t want to move there) and I refuse to move to Michigan even though Rebecca’s eye surgeon lives there. Basically I told Nick that anywhere where there are palm trees would make me happy. 🌴🌴

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      2. Anonymity is freeing, though. lol

        There are a few people (four to be exact) in my real life who know about this blog. They’re the ones I know will understand and not judge me negatively for my discussions of mental health and whatnot. My family isn’t very open minded. Trying to discuss these things with them often gets me nowhere fast.

        I think it’d be a pretty nice life to be an Island Girl. That being said, you’re right, Hawaii is hella expensive. I think I’d choose Vegas over Arizona or Texas. Florida would be tough for me because I wouldn’t want to deal with hurricanes!

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      3. Vegas is too bling bling for me by the looks of it. I’ve never been to Vegas but it seems too extroverted and party-city for me. The hurricanes in Florida are concerning to me as well, but Nick assured me that we wouldn’t live near the shoreline. Orlando actually looks quite safe. There is something about Texas that makes me say no to moving there. Could it be the over-the-top patriotism, the guns, the accent? (I am sorry for insulting any Texans who may be reading this. Texans are wonderful people).

        Also, I am sorry that your family does not support your blog. I choose to reveal myself because I know that my family already found my blog, even though they refuse to admit it. Regardless of any negative criticism, I don’t take their opinions personally anymore because their opinions don’t matter to me. They didn’t support me going to U of Calgary, so why would they support me now? At the end of the day, I’m gonna do it anyways so there’s no point in them stopping me.

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  12. I really appreciated “Into the Wild.” I have little thoughts now and then on how he might have survived. It’s the John Muir lifestyle that ultimately attracts me. Imagine, being as free as the wind, yet wise enough to take advantage of opportunities. 🙂

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    1. It really does sound like a dream. There was definitely flaws in McCandless’ plan, but the initial idea was what I was trying to chase. And John Muir was right in being the one who was smart enough to take advantage of his opportunities. I just idealize the concept, I guess.

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  13. We are currently making preparations to pack up everything, sell our home and move across the country to somewhere neither of have lived and there’s no one there to soften our landing. Our adventure is waiting for us. If we don’t like it there, we can go somewhere else.

    I’ve done many things in my life that were adventurous beyond what any of my family or friends were willing to do and the only things I’ve regretted were the things I wanted to do or try and was too afraid to. Life is meant to be lived. If people want to stay in touch and have you in their life, they will find a way. Period.

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  14. This is something I think about a lot as well. My words on paper/screen are the words that I find hard to express verbally; yet want to have some type of impact on whomever may actually take the time to read, reflect, and enjoy.

    I hope that I will be missed if I should ever stop.

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  15. This has been a dream of mine for so long. Just drive away and never look back. I still dream of this but with my kids it would take a lot more planning, money, support etc. To me, it wouldn’t matter where I go as long as we’re together we got this. Staying where I am currently is easier because without support it’s easier to stay put and just get through and work towards what you want. I would hope I would be missed, and probably would be a few. Those same few are more excellent reasons to stay here 🙂

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    1. I’m not alone in the dream of just driving away to never return!

      I feel like kids would be the incredible wingmen in the adventure because you’d always have that ‘community’ wherever you went, you could just take the kids with you!

      That being said, I understand what you mean when you say it’s easier to stay where you are.

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  16. I worried about this when I moved to New Zealand! For a long time I felt guilty leaving friends and family behind in Aus. But fortunately the people I thought would miss me did and they all made time to see me when I came home after a year and a half away. I was also lucky enough to find friends in NZ that have very similar values and lifestyle to me, so moving was 100% worth it. I managed to gain wonderful friends and retain those back home 🙂 when I look back now I feel dumb for worrying haha

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    1. Awe, this is such a sweet story. Thank You for sharing. It sounds like you’ve got a great friends group/community built down there.

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    1. I think you could take your kids and grandkids with you! Start over in a new land, teach them a new culture. It would be one heck of an epic adventure if it ever happened. Obviously the logistics get harder, but man, you’d sure enjoy it. Right?

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      1. When your kids are small, you can take them, but when they have kids of their own, you can’t make any decisions for them. They might or might not move with you, They have their own lives and their own plans, and that’s how it should be!

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      2. You’re absolutely right. I guess i was just day dreaming with my comment. It wasn’t rooted in reality. My apologies. I understand the notion of moving a family is a whole lot more than me picking up and running away. I just like to day dream.

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      3. No apologies are necessary! I am just speaking from experience :). And I should actually do something else now, but couldn’t let this thread to pass by!

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      1. I think that living close together is not what brings people close together. (gosh, this sounds horrible:)). But I hope you understand what I mean. Granted, my whole family took this statement to a little bit of extreme, but my daughter is always saying that it is better to live apart and miss each other than the opposite.

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  17. Hey, this is a great conversation (and well written :-)) and I also want to thank you for dropping by into my little nest and liking my Wild Food post. I disappeared into the forest in Australia for 10 years and I don’t think anyone missed me. If they did, I didn’t feel it because I was having the best life I could imagine, discovering the depths of nature and solitude and creating art. Now I am living in Europe and I suspect my Mum is missing me because she is old now. But I wouldn’t change anything. I love my life.
    This isn’t a blog promotion but I think you might be interested:
    https://jenimcmillan.wordpress.com/2015/05/07/wilding-the-city-girl/
    Best wishes Jeni 🙂

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  18. Omg this is what i think about all the time. Sometimes i think of moving to hawaii with a new identity so no one can find me. Sometimes i think of travelling around the world like “around the world in 80 days” but if i go, my 4 year old son and my husband would miss me. One of my sisters too. The other 3, not so much. My dad, definitely. My mom, maybe once a year will miss me. My 3 brothers, not a chance, exceot my oldest brother once every few months maybe. What stops me from going is that my son relies on me and my husband will b heartbroken. I would miss them but i would b fine. Thats y i prefer the travel around the world for a year and then come back to them. But also, no money so…

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