Guest Post: Self Worth – One Mom’s Personal Journey To Overcoming The Lie

***The following post was written by Geneva from the blog Cerrato Mom >


How much are you worth?  Are you measured by your looks?  Your money? Your job? Your political affiliation?

I have spent a great portion of my life feeling like I was never good enough.  I was not pretty enough. I was not smart enough. I was not bold enough. I was not making enough money.  I was not doing enough.

My struggle with self worth began when I was a young child.  I blame much of my lack of confidence on the fact that my father was not around.  And thereafter my step father was not around. I never felt like I was enough. I did not feel like I deserved love.

Then at the tender age of sixteen I fell in love.  I thought, this was it.  I found someone who was going to love me and erase all my feelings of self doubt and I would finally feel worth something.  This feeling did not last as I realized my worth was once again measured by what I could do for someone.

Fast forward nearly seven years of staying in an unhappy relationship, numbing the pain with poetry and alcohol, and I finally said enough is enough.

I met my husband.  We started a family.  And for the first time I felt like I had true purpose in life.  Being a mother is everything I ever wanted to be. But over the years I began to doubt my self worth again as I settled into my role as a ‘stay at home mom’.  The questions began to trickle in from family and friends (some innocent, some not) about when would I be returning to work? What was I going to do when the kids were older?

And so over the years I danced the dance of feeling worthless and like I am not enough.  I am raising my children, but I am not making money. Does that make me worthless?

I think not.  It has been a long time coming that I am at the place where I can say I am not worthless.  I am deserving of love. Happiness. To be content with my life and the choices I make.

I know I do not speak for ALL stay at home moms, but I think I speak for most when I say they can relate to the questions and the judgement from other people on our choice of occupation.

I was not enough as an innocent child who only wanted a loving father.

I was not enough as a lovestruck, naive girl who wanted the love of a husband.  I was not enough as a woman working hard to put him through school. I was not submissive enough.

Society now tells me I am not enough as a stay at home mom.  Society also tells working mothers that they are not doing enough for their children.  You really can’t win.

Slowly, after the birth of my third child, I have come to the realization that to society, and to those that would use you and abuse you, the problem lies with them, and not with you.

I am enough.  I have always been enough.  The love and the kindness I always try to share with people, the gentleness of my spirit, my sense of humor, my intuitiveness, my proclivity for being domestic and maternal – none of it is a mark against me.  It is all what makes me ME. It is not the summation of my worth, but it is worth something.

My worth is not contingent on what I can do for somebody or what I do for my family.  Yes, I love my children very much and I take care of them, take care of the house, and try to be a good wife to my husband.  But if I didn’t have children, if I didn’t take care of the house, my husband would still love me. And I would still be worthwhile.

And someday when my children are grown I may be working outside the home. I may not.  Does that determine my worth? I think not.

I want to close by saying to anyone that struggles with feeling worthless, or that you are not doing enough, or not making enough money, I stand with you, I have been in that place many times of feeling hopeless and burdened with doubt.  I have to tell you that you will only start to see your true worth when you let everything else go. Let go of expectations. Opinions. Judgement. Don’t let anyone take your power from you.

You know yourself.  You know what you have to offer the world.  You know your gifts and talents. You know your worth.  Start living it.  Show everyone exactly who you are and what you stand for.  

Show them how invaluable you truly are.


I want to say thank you to Geneva from Cerrato Mom for taking the time to write a thought provoking guest post for #MillennialLifeCrisis.

Geneva is a mom, a super hero, a writer, a California girl and the keeper of insights and intelligence on the incredible blog Cerrato Mom. She is one of the kindest human beings that I’ve ever met and always succeeds with providing me a new way to see the world. I sincerely hope that you’ll take a swift click over to her page and check out some of what she has to say. You won’t regret it.

Go to Cerrato Mom >

17 thoughts on “Guest Post: Self Worth – One Mom’s Personal Journey To Overcoming The Lie

  1. This is a very happy post :). It makes me happy to see when people who question their worth get to realize, that they do not need to prove anything to anybody, that their worth is indeed THEIR worth, not in anybody’s eyes, and not according to anybody’s standards.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I feel the same way. As much as I struggle to find my worth sometimes, reading the post G sent me made me realize that I need to do the work within myself and stop leaving it to others and hoping they’ll give it to me. It’s an important lesson to learn.

      Like

  2. I remember reading her post, and having different feelings about finding a sense of purpose. Becoming a mom did not really give me a sense of purpose. I thought a baby would make me happier and would solve my problems. That my life would be complete and that I was fitting in. But truth is, the answers were within me this entire time. A husband and baby won’t solve my problems. How did I feel after having a baby? Well, I still wasn’t satisfied and perhaps I won’t be for a while. I was lucky I didn’t get postpartum depression but depression did hit me at a later time.

    My purpose lies in a sense of fulfillment and the ability to add value. Finding that means deep soul searching. I’m happy that this momma found her self-worth and feels complete now. For me however, I’m still searching….Thanks for sharing this article, V. I’m sure it will resonate with lots of readers. 🙏🏻💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for writing an integral piece to this comments section. There are a lot of women in this world who think that babies will bring them fulfillment and I think it’s important to note that that’s a lot of pressure to put on a baby when you need to focus on your own self worth! Sounds like you were really lucky you didn’t get postpartum depression.

      I hope that people really love what Geneva has to share, too. I hope that it resonates with people whether they’re parents or not!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This post spoke to me as a wife, mother, and a woman. I think we all go through those times where we feel less than enough. In my own life I have found that when I start feeling this type of way, I need to evaluate what has changed, whether it is a negative person who needs to be removed from my circle, or things I have not been able to get done. Finally, I put a plan in place that allows me to take back MY OWN HAPPINESS. Sometimes its just a matter of changing my own mind or thought process. No person or thing can make me happy. It is a choice I have to make every day.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. I was a stay at home dad….looking after the kids and home while my wife worked….for a while. There’s nothing unworthy about it. I personally felt it was all very much worth while. Nothing better to give a child but your time, love and attention.
    Self worth comes from within….never mind what “society” thinks…or what “friends” think. It’s all about how comfortable you are inside your own skin. Do what makes you happy, not what’s “expected” of you by other people.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wholeheartedly absolutely agree with you. Being your best self will resonate with everyone around you. Finding your self worth and not expecting or hoping others will give it to you is the best thing you can do for yourself!

      Like

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