How to not be an asshole.

A list and reminder of how to be a decent human being.

  1. Understand that you can disagree with someone and still respect them.
  2. Understand that everyone on this earth is entitled to their own opinion.
  3. If you feel like insulting someone, don’t.
  4. If you want to talk down to someone, remember that you, too, live in a glass house.
  5. If you dont like someone, for whatever reason, you don’t have to he friends with them. Go be friends with someone else.
  6. Remember that just because “they” say it doesn’t mean that it’s true.
  7. If you consistently get the urge to punch someone, take up kickboxing or karate or some sort of physical activity to help get out your aggression in a positive way.
  8. Try to not judge, wherever possible.
  9. If you disagree with someone’s parenting, unless the child is in danger of severe harm/abuse, butt out(this is a very clear distinction). It’s not your child. Whether the parent has rules about screen time or junk food or lacks curfews or anything of the sort, it’s not your child.
  10. If you do not agree with the choices someone is making keep it to yourself.
  11. If you feel the urge to yell, try waiting until you’ve calmed down to have a conversation like a mature human being.
  12. If you dont like the way someone is leading their life, remind yourself that it’s their life, not yours.
  13. If you find yourself bullying someone and you realize you’re doing it, stop. You can make the choice to change.
  14. Operate based on facts, not personal opinions.
  15. If you dont have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
  16. Road rage is not productive. There are bad drivers all over the world. If you feel like swearing or screaming or gesturing, remember they likely won’t hear you or see you. And if you get the urge to do something more drastic, pyerhaps you should worry more about your anger issues rather than their lack of driving skills.
  17. Don’t drive with your high-beams on in traffic at night. Also, don’t tailgate people on the highway.
  18. Do not push your religious beliefs on anyone.
  19. Apologize. Always apologize.

54 thoughts on “How to not be an asshole.”

  6. I actually found myself falling back into road rage lately. I healed from it for many years. But it’s popped up intermittently in the past couple of years. This week, I’m curbing it, so to speak, in hopes to reestablish the road harmony I worked so hard to create for all those years!

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    1. I wish you strength with your desire to curb the road rage. I know it can be tough – it’s such an easy action to fall-into. But, it’s better if you’re not doing it. So just keep reminding yourself the good you’re doing.

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  8. I would also add, always be willing to hear the other side. I’m guilty of drowning people out sometimes and it’s definitely one of my least awesome traits. I always have a lot of respect for those who can disagree but still hear the other person out. I think it goes hand in hand with being less judgmental. Those are definitely a couple things I’m working on that i think a lot of people have a hard time with.

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    1. Oh yes, that’s a good one. There’s always more than one side and if you’re only willing to hear your own you’re not doing any service to anyone. I wholeheartedly agree.

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    1. Definitely. People lie all the time to make themselves look good. I think we just need to understand that the truth has value and if they want to lie that’s their issue, not our own.

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      2. HAHA Oh those are the best. Hi, My name is Blank, here are all the reasons I’m amazing. He sounds like a winner!

        I’d be like ‘NO ONE FUCKING CARES’ really loudly and dramatically to make him think I’m crazy in hopes he doesn’t come back.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. V if I made a comment that upset you I am humbly sorry for my actions, I have been fighting grief & it’s dragged me onto a sper low and aggited state. such is life with Bipolar & Personality Disorder. I’m really a mess emotionaly .I meant to tell I do understand the anixity you suffer. I suffer Anixity as a result of the Personality Disorder I hope if you have any issues with me that we can work it out & become friends.

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    1. Oh heavens, this is definitely not directed at you, or anyone on wordpress.

      I had a particularly bothersome interaction with a gruesome individual at the bank yesterday afternoon and I left the interaction wondering why exactly it is that someone would be so rude to one of their customers. Alas, the list was born last night. I’m sure it could go on forever if I let it… lol

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      1. Thank you I been having an emotional meltdown Bipolar hit a super low. Then the Anxiety & personality disorder running at full tilt when I read this . So I think you understand what happen when I read this, I did see a professional and got help. I hope all is well with you & the Anxiety I hope it’s under control or better yet gone. I’m pulling for you keep up the great blogs.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m glad that you were able to get some help. I know what it’s like when anxiety strikes and your brain can make you feel as though you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t. Sending well wishes and strength your direction, sir. You, and only you, can ensure the anxiety doesn’t win.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. 19th is my favourite. There’s a beautiful Dalai Lama quote that I’m very fond of. He says “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” I try my best to always always keep this quote in mind. Love your post.

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  19. Great list! As a Pagan, your point about not trying to convert peoples’ religious beliefs stood out to me! Thank you for that. It’s kind of painful for me when people try to convert me, like the Christians who think they need to “save peoples’ souls,” or this Atheist I once went on a date was who I found out on the date runs a YouTube channel dedicated to not just explaining Atheism, but eradicating all religion, eek :S Not to knock Christians or Atheists, it’s about respect, not their particular beliefs. I’d rather hang out with a live-and-let-live Christian than a fellow Pagan who says you’re not a real Pagan if you don’t follow these certain ritual steps exactly right, lol.

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    1. And people can be so particular with religion, too. It’s… oh my. There are kids from the local church around here that they make go door to door as “church work” to convince people to come to their church. They once came to my door and when I said ‘Thanks but no thanks’ one of them told me he could save me from the depths of hell. Talk about pushing your beliefs on someone else!

      Religion is so touchy with people and I would really appreciate a live-and-let-live (like you said) any religion over someone who thinks their religion makes them superior!

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    1. Surprisingly wise? While I thank you for the compliment it appears I have some work today. I don’t want to be surprisingly wise. I want to just be wise!

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