Feeling like a fraud.

Photo: PsychCentral Blog

Do you ever feel like you’re just not good enough? Like you’re a fraud trying so hard to maintain an image that you’re worried on of these days your back is going to break, the secret’s going to be out and all of your insecurities will be on display for the whole world to see?

Because I sure do.

Sometimes I feel like I’m barely scraping by. Like all of the accomplishments that I’ve accomplished in my life don’t belong to me. And, that’s probably a true thing. My accomplishments belong to those who’ve helped me along the way. But, it would be nice if I believed in myself. I might feel better about the way things are if I just believed in myself.

Because I sure don’t.

I know that I’m talented. I know that I’m smart. I know that I’m capable. But can I make it? I don’t know… can I? That’s the issue I’m struggling with these days.

I feel guilty for letting these thoughts out of my head. I feel like when you let your doubts out, that gives them power. But, at the same time, I just can’t hold them in.

Maybe people can sense my doubts. Actually, now that I say that, it’s probably true. People can sense that I doubt myself. I’m just so scared of my insecurities. I feel like we were lied too when we were kids and we were told we’d ‘grow out of it’. Life has a way of reminding you just where you belong in this world.

So when I refuse to believe this is where I belong, am I just fooling myself? Do I belong in this consistent state of unrest? Or is there something more for me?

Good god, anxiety sucks. Saturday nights… they always get the better of me.

71 thoughts on “Feeling like a fraud.

    1. I’m sorry for those people trying to tell you what you’re doing wrong. They shouldn’t be. 1)It’s not any of their business and 2) They’re the wrong ones.

      Hold strong, my dear ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  1. I’m not sure what happened to my fears. They just sort of faded. I took some supplements and just decided to relax. I had a real anxiety problem for years. It developed into depression and paranoia. So as I started to gain myself back, I studied some on anxiety and found it’s always there. It’s how we make certain decisions and get some things done. In the end, we decide how tightly to grip it. I don’t know if this helps but it did for me.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You are all the things you list in your post, but you are not a fraud. Stop the negative thoughts by telling yourself I am good enough. You can achieve anything you put your mind to doing. You are a gift of a higher being sent to earth to do something good. And you can do it! Believe in yourself!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I feel like I’m always trying to acclimate, “code switch” just to fit in because I feel others won’t or don’t accept me for me.

    I want to be accepted but feel like others view me as too weird. So, I either retreat into a corner, fall into a deep depression (therefore isolating and DELETING my presence [posts, etc] to avoid being myself).

    I wish that I could just not truly give a fuck, but deep down I do wonder is I’m good enough

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Correct me if I am wrong, but I think what you are referring to here may be referred to as impostor syndrome. Defined as “a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts the accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud.’”

    Liked by 4 people

    1. It could very well be imposter syndrome. I’ve never really thought of this way. I just know that it’s real bad tonight.
      I have to find a better outlet… something that gives me some peace.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It sounds like it to me. It’s common among Millennials, especially since we are trying to make it in the workforce and don’t always feel like we are cut out for the game called life. It’s understandable that anxiety is at an all time high for us Millennials.

        I am currently living antidepressant free, even though I still have depression. I cope by exercising (primarily 20 mins of Pilates a day, 6 days a week). It’s not much but its enough to ditch the meds (for now, anyways). Even going for a walk outdoors does wonders for anxiety, and scheduling mini tasks using check-lists help too. Gives you a sense of accomplishment and control over things, even if the tasks are minuscule. Hopefully my ramblings make sense.

        Liked by 2 people

  5. As mentioned above, this is called “imposter syndrome”. And it happens often, especially with female :). Even with me, with all experience, titles, rewards, etc. I hope it helps to know that it’ s normal and happens often. It is difficult to take your thoughts away … but please try :).

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Imposter syndrome happens a lot? I’ve never really heard people speak of it before. I guess that’s why it’s so easy to feel isolated. I’ll try to take these thoughts and file them in a part of my brain I don’t want to open.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You start to hear about it a lot, when/if you read forums for women in tech, that’s where it happens most often. Until you achieve something, you do not have imposter syndrome. When you achieve something, you do not believe you could be so smart :), and – welcome to the imposter syndrome!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I have had this so many times I can care to count. Yes a good name for it is Imposter Syndrome. Can I put a positive spin on this? If you feel like you are out of your depth doing something or you are scared, then you are on the right track my dear and following the right course towards success. Staying in your comfort zone will not serve you. Only when you are half shitting yourself ”feeling the fear and doing it anyway” as the saying goes, are you really making progress in changing your own fears. I would also say examining your own thoughts of feeling worthless is really a valuable thing to do…in meditation or quiet contemplation. Really facing these ideas and thinking about where they come from helps to make htem less scary. I hope that what worked for me, also works for you. xx

    Liked by 3 people

    1. WOW. This is so wise and so thoughtful. Thank You ❤ I never really thought that being outside of my comfort zone could be a good thing. But maybe I should start looking at this differently.
      Thank you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am so glad you found it useful. I have found the whole think positive thing and positive affirmations thing didnt work for me, but actually fully facing the fears did work and made the fears seem really small and insignificant and they eventually had no power over me. The inner voices shouting these things at us lose their power when we face them, not when we try and ignore them or pretend they arent there. I still shit myself all of the time but each time i do something that terrifies me it becomes less terrifying I really hope that helps, much love to you x Athena

        Like

  7. These feelings affect us all – even the “confident” ones. I have found that surrounding myself with great friends who can lift you, enthuse you, amuse you, make you feel good has been my gift. They remind you how impressive you really are … and we all are.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You just find them. They find you. I have about 5 who fall into this category and more get added as I meet them. You just know who they are. It’s almost an instant connection. I hope more come your way – I’m sure they will.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I feel that V. Lately, I’ve been having such thoughts too. I don’t understand things. The simple seems complicated and the complicated… Oh goodness. But, we are not alone. I hope we get the best out of this too. Take care. Love ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  9. You are definitely not alone. Six months ago I thought I was on my way to a promotion at work. Now I’m up til all hours of the night wondering if I’m going to get fired or if it’s time to move on. Then I worry that if I go to a new company, that I’ll be miserable there and not good enough and fail and get fired there like I did at 2 other jobs years ago. It’s a horrible place to be in and I hate that our culture subscribes to this misery that is work. I know that work isn’t supposed to be riding unicorns and cuddling puppies all day but I hate that everyone just accepts the fact that it’s totally normal to hate your life and yourself and sit at a desk all day and have your soul sucked out.
    That being said, I am trying SO HARD to get into freelance writing so I can at least quit my second job (cleaning) and make SOME money writing. But I just keep running into roadblock after roadblock. Not good enough, not good enough, NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Fail, Fail, Fail.
    Six months ago I felt like I could conquer the world. Now I feel like I can’t get out of bed in the morning.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You are good enough. You are smart enough. You are talented enough. You are capable. You are worthy. You can make it in freelance. And, when that door opens, you’re going to feel like it happened at the right moment in time for you to have the utmost appreciation for it.

      I know it’s not easy, but hold on my dear. The world is not far from your fingertips. <3<3

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I’ve had many times in my life when I felt exactly like this. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, months to years, years to decades. Here I am, I’ve made it this far. Relatively unscathed except for the harsh world I have created in my mind via anxiety. Age has provided me wisdom but the invasion of thought via anxiety still happens. It’s a war, comprised of many battles. Youre in an extended battle, you will survive it and you will prevail. You can do it, I know you can.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. I feel like this often, like no matter what I do it won’t be enough, like it’s all pretend. And I also feel like if I did succeed at something, like a big type of succeed, it would be at something I hate because sometimes I feel like the things I’m passionate about are good enough.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. I’m in the exact same boat; I spent this past week under a lot of anxiety and not-so-great sentiments. A joint case of Imposter Syndrome and just really low self-esteem. And I think it has affected how I’ve been acting with people (withdrawn, irritable, unpleasant). Not the best head space to be in. It’s okay some times to stew in sadness, but it’s also knowing to pick yourself up and continue on. This is another new week — good things will follow soon!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh my gosh, I’ve been so cranky and irritable this week. I know what you mean completely. It’s hard to shake this headspace when you get stuck in it. I’m hoping good things will come soon. I hope you’re right.

      Liked by 2 people

  13. It’s like you wrote this about me.
    I see myself in every line. Especially the parts where you said you know you’re smart.
    Like I know I’m smart, I know I’m beautiful, talented, but am I? Like really, sometimes I’m confident but other times I’m super insecure.

    I think I have low self esteem issues.

    Enough about me, lovely post, totally relatable. Keep it up.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m sorry that you can resonate so much about this. It’s a shitty headspace to me in. I’m sending some love and light and positivity your direction in hoping you can get through it soon ❤

      Like

    1. Oh, I don’t doubt you. I don’t do whiskey or gaming, but I have my own vices for certain and I know how you feel.

      It sucks when you don’t even want to celebrate the things you should celebrate. Celebrating is fucking worth it but you never feel like you can.

      Like

      1. Someone once told me to count the little victories and try to celebrate those. You could have a really bad day, but then when one thing goes right, reward yourself.

        Like

  14. Yup, I have even written about this exact feeling. Although I wouldn’t like for anyone to feel this way, it’s good to know I am not the only one and that I’m not just some weirdo with feelings nobody else can understand 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  15. You are not your thoughts or your feelings. They are like weather. Let them come and go, whether its clouds bringing the rainstorm or a sunny day, it’s all just weather that has very little to do with you.

    All of that is great, but it’s another thing to be able to live your life that way. Meditation, cognitive behavior therapy and/or medications can all help. Try them all and see what works for you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks ❤

      I do take medication to help with it. It's just some days are better than others. And for me, getting those thoughts out of my head on the shitty days can help.

      They are like the weather. They usually dissipate with time, you're absolutely right with that.

      Like

  16. I think a majority of people feel the same way, but we are all trying to hide our insecurities. I think when more people like you open up about them it makes other people realize they’re not alone, which helps them face their fears. So thanks for that!

    Liked by 2 people

  17. It’s a pretty wack feeling isn’t it? This spoke to me directly; I’m constantly feeling like an imposter, like I shouldn’t be who people think I am. I’ve always been good at “fitting in” to places but knowing I don’t fit in. I spend a lot of time alone with my thoughts and wonder if what I’ve accomplished is even mine. Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own body.

    But then there are days when I feel like the world is mine, I feel confident, able, and I know that although people have helped me along the way, my accomplishments are mine. So don’t forget about what YOU’VE achieved, which I am sure there are many of which to be proud of.

    You brought this community together for one. That was YOU!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you ❤

      Honestly, it's so easy when you get in these deep/dark spaces of your head to feel like you're the only person on earth who thinks this way. Sometimes it's just easier to let it all out then keep it in. It's a very 'wack' feeling, like you said. I too feel like a stranger in my own body some days. As much as I don't want other people to feel this way, it's nice to not feel alone…

      Like

  18. Yes, people make us feel belittled but the trick lies in keeping ourselves in confidence. In my case, people take my vision impairment too seriously and end up thinking that I cannot do things that they do. Ah, I pity their ignorance. I feel we all have our own ways of doing things.
    Always be your own support 😊😊

    Like

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