I was watching a tv-show earlier in which the characters were sharing confessions with one another. And, for some reason, I felt like sharing mine. Are these that interesting? Likely not. But, I’ve got a lot on my mind tonight so I thought I’d write them all down and let some of it out of my head. I may not leave these up. I’m not too sure.I’m just trying to declutter my mind right now…
I’m an emotional eater. When I get sad, I go for the junk food. When I’m lonely, I go for the junk food. When I’m indifferent, I go for the junk food. When I’m happy, bring out the cake! I hide food in my room so that I can eat when I get emotional. I know it’s not good for me. I absolutely know that. I have no excuses.
I didn’t leave my house at all yesterday. I didn’t even step out the door to go to the mailbox. I do this a lot. Sometimes I feel like I am not worthy of being around people, so I will just keep to myself as though the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
I once witnessed someone get hit upside the head (by a drug dealer) with a baseball bat and subsequently fall into the hot tub he was standing in front of. I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do. The Drug Dealer was screaming to leave him in there (the guy he just hit with the bat), and honestly, if it weren’t for one person who jumped into action, he probably would have drowned in there because we were all so scared that if we moved to help, he’d hit us with the bat as well.
The one time that I told a family member about my anxiety their response was ‘oh you’re just being dramatic’. As a result, I don’t think I’ll ever tell another family member ever again.
Someone tried to kidnap me when I was ten years old. He picked me up from behind, held me in his arm, put his hand over my mouth and started running for the mall door. I bit his hand and started to scream, and if it weren’t for a random stranger seeing me screaming as he was carrying me out the mall door, I really don’t know what would have happened. And that still haunts me. The man was never caught.
My worst kiss involved having the guy throw up mid kiss. Yup, someone else’s vomit in my mouth.
I’m very mean to myself. Every insecurity that I have come to light as a means to pick myself apart. I don’t want to be insecure, but I am. When people critique me, judge me or make fun of me, I wish they knew hat it’ll never be as bad as what I do to myself.
I started a youtube channel once. My first video got 300 views in the first couple of days being up and I got nervous of people judging me so I took it down.
I once had a side-hustle taking exams for other people.
My parents are racist. They say they’re not. But… the things they say, the actions they have, it shows in their character. And I get worried when I take them places they’re going to say something to someone of another race that cannot be forgotten, nor forgiven and that will get held against my character as well.
Sometimes I feel like I was born into the wrong family. I find myself wishing that I was adopted because then it might make more sense as to why I am the way that I am and why I have such a hard time ‘fitting in’ with this family. Then I feel bad for not being thankful for the family that I have. But I can’t help but shake this feeling that I don’t belong.
I have cried my way out of three speeding tickets.
What are your confessions? Things you don’t tell people. Things you won’t tell people. Things you’re afraid of getting out.