I’m annoyed.

My aunt stopped by this morning, unannounced(this aunt).

Naturally, my first desire was to go upstairs at 8:30 when she showed up and casually remind her that she’s an asshole and there’s no need to be that mean and such a petty bitch. But, I’m trying to keep the peace in the family. I’m trying to not sink to a level that would add fuel to her tempestuous fire.

So, I decided to stay downstairs. I decided to stay away from her because I knew if I went near her, I was going to have to be nice to her. And I didn’t want to be nice to her. I don’t think she deserves my being nice to her. That may sound childish, but that’s how I feel.

Because she just lives to annoy people, she decided that she needed to come downstairs and speak to me about our last conversation.

According to her, my reaction to the discussion and subsequent hanging up on her only showcases to her even more how childish and immature I am and how if I keep up this attitude, I’m virtually never going to find success as an adult.

According to me a decent fucking human being doesn’t talk to anyone that way, let alone someone who is your family.

My response? “Thanks for your input. I’ll take it into consideration along with the fact that you know absolutely nothing about my life and have a propensity to treat people like shit. Once everything has been considered, I’ll be sure to not tell you the conclusion that I’ve reached because, as a reminder, just because you’re family does not mean that I have to talk to you. Have a nice day!”

Then I smiled and closed the door in her face.

Just because someone is your fucking family member does not mean that they have the right to treat you like shit. No one should be able to treat someone like that, regardless of relationship or lack of relationship. I’ll keep my peace and I’ll keep my thoughts to myself but god damn, if she shows up here unannounced again, I’m locking the door and hoping she just leaves.

I’m trying to not let this eat away at my entire day. But, as mentioned earlier in the week – once I get angry, it’s sometimes hard for me to come back down…

42 thoughts on “I’m annoyed.

    1. Yeah. I think if no one else was here, I’d have ignored her. She apparently showed up to say hi to my parents though (or so she says, I think she showed up to be a troll!), so that’s why I figured I could stay downstairs away from them.

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  1. You did the only right thing, stood up for yourself and said no to bullying.

    Being family does not mean the right to bully others.

    And to show up uninvited to act nasty is even worse and extremely unacceptable.

    In such a situation it is okay to be angry, and I think your answer was spot on and clever.

    I wish you the best and look forward to reading more of your accurate and beautiful writing.

    Liked by 5 people

      1. You gave more than she deserved while being true to yourself and setting your boundaries. For those who don’t recognize boundaries, they will always see it as rude and a zillion other things no matter how nice you are. You knocked it outta the ballpark, kiddo! β™₯

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I actually can’t say I’ve had family be annoying like THAT. I mean, we always communicated and aired out our grievances whenever there was an issue.

    Usually, it was during dinner, over drinks, laden with insults and curses but at the end of it all, we all broke wine bottles and threatened to stab each other like a true loving family.

    I’m sorry you are having some difficulties with a member of yours.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh I’ve got those situations around the dinner table too. I think that’s normal. At least, I hope that’s normal?

      Thank you for your note. I think I find solace in the fact that she’s not a blood relative. There’s no way I turn out as crazy as her. lol

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah that’s pretty normal, don’t worry about it too much.

        Hey, you can’t pick and choose your family, but you can pick and choose who’s invited to the cookout!

        Like

    1. You’re so right. The friends we make along the way can, at times, be way more important than a blood relationship. That blood relationship means diddly squat if it’s not good for you.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely. Usually she’s the type of person who only tells someone opinions of other people, but lately she’s been saying things right to people’s faces. It’s brazen and uninformed judgment and it’s a wild ride!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree…once I am done….I am done! I have been struggling with the behavior of my cousin’s wife. She is an asshole and I can’t change that fact. My question is….why are we all avoiding the elephant in the room? She projects her insecurities onto people who don’t deserve it, like my aunt…When did the insecurities of the thirty somethings become more important than reality? Just because she married into my family doesn’t give her the right to abuse my aunt (her mother in law…if she wants a bad mother in law I can offer up my ex mother in law….) Shame on my cousin for allowing it!!!!!!!!!!! If I consider you mine…I will stand by you until the end. I will stand by my aunt and am deeply disappointed by my cousin. This really hits home since I have to take the high road and say nothing…because that is my aunt’s wish.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You sound like a good soul. It’s probably really difficult dealing with family situations like that. While my situation isn’t totally the same, I do understand how you feel. At least I think I understand you. Families are hard. That’s what makes us appreciate friends so much more. We get to pick them!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is so true.

    You have the right to put up boundaries and remove people from your life. People showing up to your house to antagonise you is unhealthy and toxic.

    Well done on putting up the boundary and standing up for yourself! I’m proud of you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, my dear ❀

      Family can be tough. Sometimes you're just better off keeping them at a distance. And dear goodness, I would never show up at a family member's home unannounced. That's just RUDE.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. that’s the tricky thing about a family member who is such a little shit. just because blood binds the 2 of you, there is this weird dynamic of always having to put up with each other when really, this person should just be cut out of your life.
    I’m so happy you stood up for yourself and basically told her to fuck off. honestly, people who have no fucking clue what the hell you’re going true and don’t do anything productive to help, like seriously its better if you just stfu.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re so right. If a family member really wanted to be supportive, they’d try to understand rather than berate me.

      Thank you for the little pep talk, again. You always seem to be giving me pep talks these days and I just want you to know it means a great deal to me ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey, V! I’m so sorry I haven’t been on here, I’ve had almost no motivation lately, I have so much to catch up on. I read this though and had to respond right away after I saw the post with your conversation with your aunt on the phone.

    You did the right thing. It is amazing to me how family can either be our biggest advantage in life or our biggest disadvantage. Some family members will scream at you, kick you out of their house, and abuse you in ways you never expected. Just because you don’t see eye to eye. What does that say about their values? πŸ€”

    Anyways, I wanted to tell you that you are awesome. You are NOT lazy. You are NOT a disappointment. You don’t deserve to be treated poorly or spoken to poorly, you deserve respect and love from family whether you all agree with each other or not. You had every right to hang up and shut the door. Right there, you took your power back and said, “No more. I deserve better. This family deserves better.” Your family is blessed to have you, even if they don’t realize it. You are strong, you are wise, and you are anything but a disappointment because of your determination and will. They can’t take that away from you ❀

    I can totally relate, as my family lives in a glass fudging mansion πŸ™„ if you ever want to talk, I’m here for you. I get the black sheep treatment ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You, my dear, are one of the kindest people I know on this website. I was wondering why I hadn’t seen your icon on my dash a ton lately. I sincerely hope you stick around and find that motivation needed to keep you here. Because I need your blog!

      As for the rest of your message, thank you. Thank you for your kindness, for your pep talks, for your goodness… thank you for always being nice to me even when I feel like I don’t deserve. Thank you for making me feel better about myself tonight, with just the few short lines you wrote. Just, thank you.

      I’m sorry we can’t pick our family. You can pick your friends though and they eventually become your family. If I called it my online family, you’d be here in my online family.

      Like

  7. This makes me super glad that no one, including family, can visit me unannounced. Even if they show up at my building, they have to call me to get buzzed in. If I don’t want to see someone, I’m sure I can come up with a quick excuse to make them go away. “I’ve got the strep throat!” “I’m currently entertaining a guest.” “It’s Naked Thursday and you coming into my apartment would be wildly inappropriate!” You know, things like that…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I used to live at least a five hour drive from anyone in my family and my life was glorious! I would probably not have buzzed them into my apartment if they’d showed up unannounced.

      Naked thursday’s sound fun! haha

      Liked by 1 person

  8. My aunt and grandma treat me this way, too. Thank you for the reminder that just because someone is related to you, it doesn’t give them the right to treat you poorly.

    Like

    1. I’m so sorry that you’ve got a family member, in your case two, who think this is appropriate behaviour. Just remember their behaviour, it says nothing about you and everything about them.

      Liked by 1 person

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