Heightened Anxiety

Things just feel off today. Way off. I can’t put my finger on what it is. It’s just… wrong. I don’t want to go anywhere. I don’t want to do anything. I’m having a hard time talking to people. I’m just struggling. I don’t know what’s causing it today above any other day.

I’ve been hiding in my bedroom for the past four hours and I really don’t know that I can or want to leave it today. I just don’t know how to get past this right now.

73 thoughts on “Heightened Anxiety

  1. Hi! I definitely have been feeling like this lately. Just unmotivated, not wanting to do anything that I can’t push my mind past to accomplish. I just wrote a blog asking for the same advice. We will get through it! ❤
    In these moments of being unsure, there's got to be a reason and light at the end of the tunnel.

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  2. Had this earlier. You have to wander around in your mind and go exactly where you don’t want to go.
    Might be a bit hard to find but you’ll know when you see it. Had me crying for half an hour and now I feel better and I could even motivate myself to practice some guitar and work out. It will hurt but you’ll feel better.
    Hang in there 🙂

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    1. I’m sorry you know how it feels. I definitely did my fair share of crying today. Glad to hear you managed to work past it, and I hear guitar is really therapeutic, no?

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      1. I’m okay. Hope you feel better today.
        Playing guitar is somewhat distracting but not any more therapeutic than writing. It depends on the person I guess, but I recommend anything creative really 🙂

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  3. I feel for you, really. Lot’s of us have been there and know how hard it is. When it hits me I try to have some time on my own, away from everyone – like you. But now, I won’t let it linger. I do some mindfulness, at home, in a cafe having coffee or even sitting in a park, listening to whatever sounds and just being mindful. It’s not always easy but it works for me. Big hugs. Caz x

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    1. I think I’m getting okay now, it’s only 10 hours later. But hey, at least I’ve calmed myself down, right. Thank you for your suggestions. I ended up going and getting myself a cup of coffee and just sat there drinking it and staring at the rain.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Anxiety sucks. It’s not an easy mindset to get out of. The best thing you can do is practice self-care. Watch a funny movie or read a book you’ve always wanted to read. I remember you talking about potentially writing an ebook. Maybe something to do today? It doesn’t have to be actual writing just some brainstorming of ideas. You have power in your posts and I’m sure you’ll be a great author. I hope your day gets much better

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    1. Thank you so much! I don’t know, I have a lot of ideas for an ebook, It might just be one of those things I dream about but don’t ever get too if I’m being totally honest. I’m just that type… it worries me.

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      1. Nothing to worry about. It’s not like it needs to be written today or this year. If you want to do it you’ll do it when the time is right. We write for the joy of writing and to express ourselves when the spoken word doesn’t feel sufficient. I hope that you doing better today.

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  5. I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling like this, V. I hope the feeling disappears or at least improves as time goes on. Just try focusing on the quiet and the calm – perhaps you could put on some meditation music, or do some guided meditation? Whatever helps you. And remember that it’s okay to not want to leave the house, it’s okay to have a day where you feel you can’t.

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    1. Thank you! These types of messages are so nice to read when I get anxious. It makes me feel a lot calmer and less like a freak who can’t control my emotions. Thank you for this.

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  6. Mother trucker! Anxiety is such a sneaky goob. It would be nice if it sent us notification before it’s arrival so we could prepare for the onslaught. Yuck, I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m there too often and thank you for your bravery in sharing with us. Much love and support to you 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I agree! It would be really nice if it could just warn me before it shows up so that I can know not to plan anything for that day…

      Thank you for your sweet comment ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I don’t want to sound trite and I know what you are feeling is way more than what I am about to write. Anxiety is a c*******************t and she ruins everything. My supervisor told me this when I had a couple of down days: I could not appreciate the good days without the bad. And while I wish like hell that you were not having anxiety it will subside. One of the hardest things I have had to learn is that when I become anxious and start to fall back into my ‘before’ habits (overthinking not drugs) is I am trying to tell me something. For now lay down rest watch t.v. to dull the mind or play a simple pattern game (or any type game you like) and focus on that. It is not a great coping skill but I have and still use it to great effect. But that is me. 🙂 Sending giant bear hug to you.

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    1. Thank you ❤ I know the bad days make me appreciate the good days so much more, but some days like today I just… don't even want to deal with the world. I know what you mean though. It's roughly 10 hours later now and I've calmed down a lot.

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  8. have you heard of the term HSP? its not official but I’ve read about it online. Highly sensitive personality. When I’ve had too much outside stimulation, I have to decompress. I don’t think its caused by thoughts, its a biological need. Also often associated with introverts. Introverts are drained by people, even if, like me- I find people interesting. So I need time alone a lot, even being happily married I will stay in the spare room on occasion- just for no interaction at all, like a cocoon. After 25 years of societal/familial/marital rejection of my needs, after my divorce I accepted that I am different and if that’s what I need for peace then so be it. Then I came across others online that had the same needs so I am validated. I don’t fit in a square box or a circle peg. When I accept my needs and address them I am better off mentally and spiritually. I also have found others who have accepted this about me, I think bc I cut off “friends” who don’t or are pushy or judgmental. Maybe you need a day off from stimulation and that is okay! All of the natural world seeks quiet at some point, why not humans?

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    1. I’ve never heard of this before you mentioned it, but based off your comment and some googling I’ve done since reading your comment, it does sound a lot like me. Sometimes I just… really need time to myself. I think you’ve really hit the nail on the head here… Thank you for sharing. I’ve got some more googling to do.

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      1. I had never heard of these terms before either but a couple of years ago I stumbled on these two words and read up a lot, read some books on it as well and learned so much. For me, it helped explain moments in my life, going back as far as I could remember, that didn’t make sense. Yes, sometimes you feel sad, sometimes you are depressed, and you know more or less why. But many other times it would happen out of nowhere and it didn’t feel the same but it was just this deep need to be alone for bit. Kind of like I needed to decompress. Just like @read.count.draft mentions above. I hope it helps. 🙂 learning to use our high sensitivity as a gift and being kind to ourselves is so helpful. Sending you lots of love and light.

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    1. I think I figured out my anxiety is because election day is tomorrow. And I’m worried about what’s going to happen. I’ve managed to calm down a lot from where I was at earlier today, but I don’t think I’ll fully be calm until the results are what I want them to be tomorrow night. I guess we’ll wait and see…

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  9. My therapist hooked me up with this site: https://ggia.berkeley.edu/
    They don’t have one specifically for anxiety, but many of the exercises support lower anxiety….and the best part is they are backed by science and they include a blurb about the science of each practice. As you may know, I had anxiety so bad I developed an eating disorder for a while there…. and I had to go get treatment. I know how bad that shit can get. Aside from treatment, you know the drill: self care. What’s your thang? I love music. That does it for me personally if I can get outside and walk 3 or 4 miles listening to Smashing Pumpkins or Whatever. What is *your* thing? What is the thing that helps you aim toward release in moments like this? Besides just junk food ;). I wish you healing and I support you in pursuing whatever your thang is.

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    1. Thank you for this.
      I’ll be checking it out after I get through this Election. Working 15 or more hours tomorrow as a polling guide so I’ve just be laying around trying to stay calm preparing for it.

      I would say my thing is… thrifting. I love gong to the thrift store and hunting for goodies. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, actually. But they’re not open on Sunday’s. Anyways, It’s freeaking 10:30 at night and I Have to be up at 5 am. Hope you are well, my dear. And I hope you are doing much better after getting some treatment for your eating disorder. I’m glad to hear that you did get some treatment!

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  10. It is ok to just stay Thier sometimes you just need that, 💗 like an instinct to be alone. Sometimes the anxiety can come because you feel like you should be out of Thier doing things but something you can’t quite put your finger on stops you. It’s ok though

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    1. Thank you ❤ I've managed to calm down a lot since this morning, which I am thankful for. I think I'll not fully calm down until tomorrow after the election. Guess we'll see.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m with you in solidarity on this today. Same same same. In my room, it’s been a struggle to be productive. Anxiety is a big thing, but so is just feeling deflated and exhausted.

    You seem so resilient though; you’ll get through this. We both will!! I’m trying to type/speak it into existence.

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    1. I’m sorry you had a rough day. That isn’t a fun place to be… I hope that you got a chance to rest and take time for yourself.

      I’m with you. Speak/type it into existence. It’ll happen!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I honestly didn’t realize how worried I was about the Election until after the results were over. Thank you for this note, it was really lovely to read when I was having a rough morning.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry that you’ve been going through it too. I wish there was a solution. For me it was just time that ended up calming me down. I hope you get some time for yourself ❤

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