You are not defined by anything that your family says, does or feels. You are your own person and are entitled to your own thoughts, actions and feelings. Being related to someone, by blood or not, does not mean that you are forced to be like them, or forced to be one of them.
I think it’s extremely important to note that you can both love and be thankful for your family while still not wanting to be like them. Contrary to popular notion, this does not make you a bad person. This makes you your own person. An individual. And shouldn’t this be everyone’s goal?