I forgive, I do not forget.

I think this is an important clarification to make. Just because I forgive you for something that is done to me, does not mean that I am going to forget what happened. I’m going to protect myself. I’m going to take proactive measures to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.

Don’t just expect me to let my guard down. Don’t just expect to me to pretend all is good and dandy. Just because I’ve forgiven you does not mean that you’re automatically entitled to the same level of trust that you had before.

Fool me once… I’m going to take some serious precautions about the way I live my life to ensure that it’s never happening again.

41 thoughts on “I forgive, I do not forget.

    1. I’m not really an angry person, or a mean person. I’m just sort of a ‘cut you out of my life’ type of person. So if I’ve forgiven someone and they’re still in my life, that’s a big deal. A really big deal.

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  1. Yes, absolutely.
    I feel that “forgive and forget” is a convenient excuse for the perpetrator to repeat the same actions, and somehow justify them… Like you, I can forgive, but will not forget, and this goes both ways of course. Otherwise, we would all repeat the same mistakes.

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  2. I am the exact same in this type of context I do not forget things easily. You hurt me overtime I forgive. Forgetting not so much. You raised a very very good point!

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  3. Finally! I thought I was the only one and it was driving me insane especially when people around me went all, ” Keep your pride aside, everybody makes mistakes. ”

    So glad to know that there’s a person out there who has the same views as I do.

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  4. Yes, I am afraid I also struggle to grasp the whole ‘forgive and forget’ concept.
    I love the way you have put this – so very true. Forgiving someone, even if they aren’t sorry, prevents our inner peace from being toyed with. But they definitely don’t deserve the trust they had! And taking precautions is the only means of self care!
    Great post!

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  5. Same. Sometimes people eventually show you who they really are & to what degree your importance is to them. If someone valued you they wouldn’t cross the line by doing something that would hurt you significantly. And if they’ve done it once, they would do it again.

    I was good about cutting people out until I met the wrong one. Never again. I’m not even open to anything new (friends & romantic relationships) until I check somethings off my list. I am not here to play games. Life is to brief to have the wrong type of people in my life.

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    1. That’s probably a good way to look at it. Doing things for yourself will fulfill you until the time is right. Too many people ‘need to’ have people in their lives. Being strong without them is the ideal scenario if you ask me.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Honestly, if people get the chance to fool me twice, then I’m doing something wrong in life. You know what I mean? I just want people to learn. They don’t deserve your time if they’re going to try and fool you more than once.

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  6. You know, you have a right to NOT forgive.

    I say this because you clearly haven’t forgiven whomever you are talking about. If your guard is up around this person, part of you believes they don’t deserve to be trusted.

    You say you can’t treat this person as if nothing happened, but that’s exactly what forgiveness means: Not that nothing happened, but that the offense happened in a context that affords the person a second, unconditional chance.

    What you are describing is “strike one, I’m watching you”. That is not forgiveness.

    This person has earned your distrust, why forgive them?

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  7. This is so wise. Even if we give someone a second chance we still need to have our eyes open and be alert to the possibility that they might do the same things again in the future. That innate instinct for self-preservation has our best interests in mind.

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