Words hurt.

They really hurt. Sometimes words have the power to swing faster, hit harder and deliver a stunning blow stronger than any raised fists.

People think that they know everything about you based on what little they hear and they judge. People always judge.

My skin is getting increasingly thinner by the day and I’m having a harder and harder time dealing with the things that people say.

The other day, I was told that I’m abusive. I was told that I, the person who goes out of her way to make anyone and everyone happy no matter what it does to my state of being, am abusive.

I’ve been told that I’m lazy, stupid, jarringly out-of-touch with reality. I’ve been told that I don’t want a job because I’d rather sponge off my family than actually work. Trust me, I have heard it all.

And it bothers me. As much as I’d like to say that the words of other people don’t bug me, they do. It hurts to hear people who say they love you, say those things to you. It hurts to hear people who really don’t know you, say those things to you.

Sometimes I’ll say something. Sometimes I’ll fight back, stand up for myself, remind people to use their words wisely because the things they say can and will affect the people they say them to. But, a lot of times, I won’t. People think that’s me being a pushover. But really, it’s me understanding lot of times nothing I say will change their minds. Nothing that I could possibly say, no matter how calmed and reasoned or loud and intimidating I could say it, would make a damn difference.

When people make up their minds, most of the time logic has nothing to do with it. A lot of times, they think what they think and that’s the bottom line. And to those in this world who feel it’s appropriate to voice their judgments, put their harsh words on display, nothing is really going to change that.

Whether your mind is made up, or there’s room for change, all I ask of people is that they think about the things they’re saying before they say them.

Because words hurt.

And you haven’t the foggiest idea the power your words can hold over someone.

57 thoughts on “Words hurt.

  1. I’m sorry you’re feeling upset by unkind things others have said. It’s really difficult when words touch on old wounds or you feel something unfair has been said about you. Have you ever read The Four Agreements? Recently I wrote a post on my blog about how Toltec wisdom has helped me as a parent. The first two agreements might be helpful for you too. Hope you feel better soon!

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  2. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with people saying things like that to you. I get a lot of comments along those lines as well, especially from family members 😦 Just know there are plenty of us out here (even if we’re basically internet strangers) who totally support you and will gladly provide validation if you need it.

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    1. Internet strangers are a lot more supportive than my family these days. So I know how you feel when you say you get these comments from family. Family’s words often hurt the hardest.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You are right that people who deliberately say (or do) hurtful things are not going to change if you confront them. They get what they want by bring mean. If you confront them, they will turn on you. If you ignore them, they will find someone else to hurt and use. It’s hard but you just have to love yourself so much that their words cannot hurt you. And that is so much easier said than done if the hurtful person is a parent, a son, a daughter or a sibling. Been there. 💞

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  4. Fuck Em………I haven’t spoken to my mother in over 2 years. On my birthday I received a 7 page letter full of bible verses about my sinful life. Fuck her and the bible she rode in on. Hugs to you, I think you’re fantastic and love how freely you speak your mind. Don’t change a thing.

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    1. I don’t think my mother would allow me to go two days without talking to her, and she’s one of the biggest offenders in my life. Man oh man, sounds like your mother knows exactly how to try and hit hard.

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  5. Word are incredibly powerful. Just look at Christianity. After God sent Jesus to die on the cross, all that Christians had was The Word (our Bible). We have no video. God doesn’t appear to us visually. But we have his word.

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  6. Hello Vee,
    I don’t want to overwhelm with too many comments, but I want to say I feel your pain and send you all my ❤️❤️ It is so ironic that those who “love” us (and those we can’t help but love) often inflict the most pain and damage. It is like a twisted form of narcissism.
    You will always have a support base here. Please continue to take care.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. You would never overwhelm me with comments. Your comments are always kind and just the right amount of genuine to make me feel a little bit better when I get to see them and smile. Thank you for that.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. My favourite quote is “the pen is mightier than than sword”. Swing back sweet one! The word has so much power. Think of where religions would be without the books they revere. I enjoy your posts – it is hard not to listen to the haters but you should know it is their emotions, attacking you is their way of addressing things within themselves. You must respond in order to protect that thin layer left!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah, when it’s your mother and father though it becomes tough to fight back. When standing up for yourself causes a rift in the family, I’m not sure what to do with it. Ya know? You’re right though. The pen is mightier than the sword… so much so.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Ah. I am not one to be taking advice on with families. I’ve not spoken to my parents for decades. My relationship with my own children isn’t bad though. I’d never be mean to any of my children or grandchildren. I’m unsure as to why it is necessary but it is a form of parenting which some convince themselves is caring. I suppose you have to have faith that things will work out. Sending strength and courage xxx most people do mean well, they really do.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Thank you ❤ It's good to hear there are parents out there who wouldn't ever be mean to their kids.I want to be that kind of mom one day. The one who'd never say a mean thing to my kids.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I can understand you so much as I feel the same way. I’m a highly sensitive person so I feel everything so deeply and get hurt easily. I will never understand why people would enjoy to be rude to each other and buly others or say mean things. I have been bullied in my high school time and I still suffer from the consequences of that wound. I’m here for you. You are loved 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awe, you are so kind. I too, do not understand why people can be so mean to, or rude to one another. There’s a difference between thinking nasty thoughts and vocalizing them. And when you open your mouth to specifically cause harm to someone’s self-esteem, that’s a real low blow.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes, you can’t please everyone. I just wish that like.. with family… they’d keep their mouths shut. Ya know? As much as it’s family, I think that makes their words hurt more.

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      1. My lovely Scottish Mum always said “keep yer thought tae yerself – they cannae send yae to prison for yer thoughts!” Which is just as well I follow her advice – well most of the time. But she’ll still say to me “Your gonna get yer head kicked in one day!” whenI’m yelling at some driver who’s just cut me up. lol

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Absolutely words matter. When my ex and I were splitting I told her the reason I wouldn’t participate in any massive arguments is I may have said something hurtful and I didn’t want that to be what she was remembering on her death bed instead of all the good things. We remain friends four years later. It’s best to hold your tongue because once they’re released there’s no taking it back. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s actually a pretty solid outlook for breakups. I think more people should take that advice. And now that I see this comment I’m thinking about the fact that I’m still friends with my ex who we parted on good terms and I hold a lot of spite for my ex who cheated on and belittled me when I broke up with him. So, I’m reading your outlook and thinking it’s really smart.

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      1. Darn sentence (mis)structure. What I really meant is that throughout our 14 years together I wouldn’t get into arguments that would lead me to say stupid things. I told her that when we were splitting up. It wasn’t just not saying those words when we were splitting, it was always. But still your plan would work too. Good luck.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s the truth. My friend used to ask ‘what’s worse, the wounds from words that stay with you for life, or the physical scars of pain once passed but not forgotten’? I would say words hurt a lot more than a pain that can heal with time.

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  10. Words cut deeper than any knife. I learned that too. I am so sorry you got such mean, judgmental messages. It’s hard to put oneself out there. At least it is for me, but writing helps me and that is what matters. I often ask myself if anyone out there actually cares what or if I post something. I have friends who said they are too afraid of rude comments, so they do not want to post anything at all. I think this is sad, because everyone has the right to express herself. I also have the impression that such jerks usually be mean only on a second account, using a pseudonym. Most of them only seek for attention, maybe have been hurt shortly before and this is their way of dealing with their anger, which is obviously no excuse of being mean to anyone else. The internet gives them a feeling of having power, I guess, because they think they are anonymously. I know it is hard sometimes to focus on the good, but there are so many people here who love to read what you share, and can relate – I do. Please keep writing. Try to let those idiots not get into your head. They do not know you. They judge because they don’t want to even try to understand. I know such words hurt, but when I get such messages, I try to remind myself that there are people who appreciate me, and I will focus on them. Hope you feel better soon!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. After reading your comment today I decided to post a things I am grateful for list. Your comment inspired me to do that so I wanted to say thank you for reminding me to see the better. ❤ And reminding me to try my best to ignore the rest.

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  11. My heart hurts for you.

    Words spoken to me have destroyed pieces of my soul for months before healing has come. Sometimes, those words come in writing (like a scathing comment on my blog). Somehow, those words are even worse. Someone took the time to write them and chose to hurt me in public on purpose. Not only that, but they’re there to be re-read. Yuck.

    Words are so powerful.

    May God bless you today. May He shine his face upon you. May you know that you are loved and beautiful and precious. You are an angel, and He knows your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kindness, generous heart and for making me smile tonight. Your positivity is radiating through any negativity I’ve found right now. And I appreciate that so much.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. My friend I am sorry you are going through this tough time all around. My mom has been dead for 3 years now and I still hear all the nasty things she ever said to me in my head. I bruise will heal but words sometimes haunt you forever. But you are strong and I know you will get through this time. For now, do things that you know will left you up. I like to color or take a hot bath but those may not be your thing. Do what works because you are so worth it and such a gift to us here ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I went for a long walk today (during the few short hours the sun is up) and I think that helped a little. Just trying to stay positive. Thank you for your kind words. Though I’m not happy your mom wasn’t nice to you, it’s good to know that I’m not alone in struggling with a relationship with my mother.

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  13. I am 53 years old and still live at home with my Mom! I know a lot of people think I sponge all her, but I don’t! Even family has led me to believe they think that! My Mom says don’t worry about it we know different, but it bothers me! I understand how you feel!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awe! My uncle lived with my grandma for her whole life. None of us ever knew why and so many people in the family speculated but it turns out, after my grandma died, we found out she’d been living with chronic illness her whole adult life and my uncle had been living with her to take care of her. The two of them never said anything. Not to any of her other seven children/his seven siblings.

      Your story, it reminds me that people really can’t judge what goes on in the inside of a situation and believe they know what’s right. Because they’re not going to be right.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. This is sooo true. It is sad that the people closest to us tend to hurt us the most. They know our weaknesses. They know exactly which words will sting the most. They use harsh words in moments of anger or to reverse psychology encourage us¿¡ yeah that is not encouragement. I am often destroyed by a single word from a loved one. Sometimes i plunge back into depression because of a single remark. So i totally understand you and i hope u and i can develop thick skin

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