I need to be nicer.

For real, it’s one of my biggest faults. I’m not a very nice person and I’m very quick to think the worst of people.

70 thoughts on “I need to be nicer.

    1. I think, as with all things in life, there needs to be a balance. I, myself, am quite negative and I think I’ve lost track of that balance over the years.

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  1. It depends on who I’m with or where I’m at. I have people that’ve never seen/ heard me being nice and I’ve some that don’t think I have an angry nerve! Then there’s the one that feel they can do/ say whatever they want to me and I’m not supposed to get mad.

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  2. I don’t think it’s so much an issue of not being nice. I find you refreshingly honest, and that is a very rare quality these days. Part of self care is protection, and so unfortunately sometimes we need to see the worst in others too. Maybe more about finding balance though? If we always see the good it can also have nasty outcomes.
    You are actually a nice person, because that’s what I think. So there 😛 😉

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  3. I mean, maybe? Some people seriously dont deserve the kindness. But I see where you are coming from and good for you for your self awareness.

    I can flip a switch from nice to mean at the drop of a hat. I’m a very particular person.

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  4. Thinking and acting out are two very different things. As long as you don’t act like an asshole, you’re showing some self awareness, which non-nice people don’t care about. Cognitive behavioral therapy suggest the next time you think the worst in someone, consciously tell yourself something nice about them, too. If you do this enough, you’ll likely re-wire your brain over time to think positive things about others, or at least be neutral.

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  5. I don’t believe that you aren’t a nice person. Here’s the thing – you’re going through a difficult time where your self esteem is getting attacked from all angles. When people go through rough patches, it’s sometimes hard to stay positive. In my opinion, you’re being way more self aware and nice than people even deserve… Please don’t beat yourself up. After all, sometimes idiots need to be called out!

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  6. I used to be a very angry person and would snap and yell at people. Now I just insult them with my writing in the kindest, most indirect way possible. Like a fortune cookie with a big FU message hidden in the inside. 😇🤫

    Forgiveness is powerful. And it’s not to seek forgiveness from the other person necessarily, but to protect your self-worth.

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  7. I’m reminded of a quote from an episode of New Girl.

    Jess: “Nick, you always see the worst in people!”
    Nick: “That’s because people are the worst!”

    Often, I am Nick in this scenario. No… not often. Basically all the time. Because people are the worst.

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  8. It’s good that you assess your own behaviors. Trust me, many live in seeming oblivion to their own behaviors.
    I tackle this two ways in my own life:
    – First, I try to be my worst critic. No one is harder on me than me.
    – Second, and this is harder, when I tell myself I’m being too mean, I remind myself to assume best intentions. This usually causes me to step back and think about where the other person is coming from – what motivated the behavior that triggered me. It helps me to get a better understanding of the world outside my head.
    The good news is that I find that second part happening reflexively now even when I’m not angry. Give it a try if you think it’ll help!

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  9. I say the same all the time. I feel like I can not be genuinely happy for someone. Maybe it have got to do something with self pity and “jalousie” (now that I write it this way I see that it does). But in the end aren’t we all “not nice” in one way or other. Doesn’t doing good deeds suffice?

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    1. I’m not sure. Doing good, when you don’t have a good heart/soul seems dishonest, no? I find there are people that I’m genuinely happy for, but it’s a select few. Most people I just write off… as horrible as that sounds.

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  10. As I get older and after many a heartbreak from both friends and partners I now wonder if it is better to see the best and be disappointed or think the worst and be pleasantly surprised 🙂 That said, I still continue to see the best and be disappointed, but you can’t teach an old dog new tricks 🙂

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    1. A few years back there was a quote on a tv show and the quote was ‘I choose to not believe the better of anyone, because then they don’t get the opportunity to disappoint me’. Honestly, I think that quote is a lot of what you’re talking about here and that is so relevant. I think it’s what I struggle with.

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  11. V, you are a wonderful person and are honest to the bone!! I love that about you!! Being nice is hard work and then you have people that get ticked off because you say “No” or are surprised when you show your pissed off side!! LMBO That’s my favourite time because I’m “too nice”!

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