Okay, so

Last night I made a post on this blog about three serious topics that I wanted to give my take on. I am someone who believes that even the difficult or taboo subjects should be talked about because, so long as we’re talking, we’re educating… ourselves, others, the world in general.

These subject matters, specifically the third that I spoke of (I’m being very careful to not type the subject matter again because I don’t want to get flagged again), offended someone, or multiple people. I’m thinking multiple people based on what has happened in the past 24 hours.

While I am sorry that someone took offense to the subject matter, I am not sorry for what I said. There is a systemic culture of toxicity in our society that will continue to thrive so long as we continue to sweep these subjects under a rug and pretend they do not exist. My blog frequently talks about subject matters that are those which people don’t necessarily just blurt out in coffee shops with their friends, mostly for fear of being judged. I take great pride in touching on these subject matters that are so, so very important to not just me, but should be important to everyone. And I want this place to be a safe space for people to share their thoughts on these subjects as well, whether you agree with me or not.

What I don’t want is to censor myself.

To address a certain concern:

I received an email last night stating that it was in very poor judgment of me to talk about subjects of these matters whilst I’ve recently been made aware that people as young as fifteen read this blog. They went on to say that 15 year old’s should not have to be subject to these subjects and that I should be more cognizant of my choices of topics.

Firstly, suggesting that someone who is fifteen years old isn’t able to grasp, and shouldn’t be able to discuss the subject matter of what was in my post last night is severely underestimating the intellectual and emotional maturity of youth. It’s also incredibly naive to suggest that people who are teens, or in their early twenties, aren’t talking about these subjects already. I guarantee you they are.

Secondly, I believe in education. I believe in open and honest discussion with people while they are any age (whether they’re a teenager or 65) and I believe in allowing them to ask questions, or learn that the world isn’t always perfect. These things, like I spoke of last night in my post, do happen. If people are educated when they’re younger, they’ll be more able to stick up for themselves and know they’re value when they reach an age in which they start a relationship of their own.

You might believe that teens deserve to be sheltered. You might believe that teens should stay as young as possible for as long as possible. And that’s your prerogative. I believe that the more we empower teens with truth, the more value they’ll place upon their worth and the more likely they are to stand up for themselves and know the difference between right and wrong should these situations ever happen to them.

If you read my post from last night, thank you to those of you provided me some really incredible comments. I hope that the post reappears and that more people get to read it, and the comments that were left on the post. It’s an important discussion to be had.

That’s it.

That’s all.

65 thoughts on “Okay, so”

  1. Now I’m REALLY annoyed that I can’t go back and read it as planned. Definitely agree with you about this being a free space to discuss difficult things. You can’t be responsible for the multitude of different people that can engage with your work.

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      3. Truth to that, but reality says they can easily read a blog unmonitored. This is by far not the worst things our kids are seeing, and I am very big on picking your battles. This would not be one of them lol. They are more influenced by their peers and culture than parents want to admit, so having conversations about hard topics is important if parents want to stay in tune with where their kids are at

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      4. I completely agree. I cheered when I read the post. My comment was more about whatever pearl clutching person reported it (presumably someone trying to “protect” younger readers). Not having open discussions about topics like these is part of the problem.

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  3. I’m confused, was the post taken done by wordpress? I have it still in my emails no problem. Those topics were NOT outside what you would see on a daytime talkshow like Maury or something. So sad… people are so sensitive to all the wrong things…

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    1. A lot of people got the post direct to email – which I didn’t even know was the case. I thought they just got notifications that I posted something too my email, I didn’t know the whole post got sent.

      I didn’t think it was all that bad either. But, someone did enough to report it.

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  6. Being overly sensitive and sweeping subjects under the rug like what you discussed last night is part of the reason those horrible things still happen. We can’t just bury our heads in the sand and pretend those things don’t exist. It’s unfortunate that your post was removed because it was uncomfortable to read, but removing it doesn’t solve the problem. Also, since when can you not discuss certain things on your own blog? I felt like you were very respectful and discussed it in a very diplomatic way. This really bothers me (that the post was taken down)…

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    1. I did some reading after it happened and it turns out there’s a lot of rules much like Youtub’es community guidelines… where you have to adhere to certain rules that are basically aimed at keeping people in line…

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      1. Hmm, I had no idea. Guess I’d better find these rules… It just doesn’t make sense that you can’t write what you want (like the US president)… 🙄

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      2. Honestly, I feel like if I made that post on a blog that had ten followers, it’d be fine. No one would have cared. Maybe I should go and do that. lol

        Liked by 1 person

  7. It sucks that your post was taken down. What makes it even worse is that you were actually speaking up against those “bad” things. You didn’t support or advocate anything harmful. Smh. Sorry that happened to you!

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  8. Anyone who follows you when you posted it will have an email with the original post, if anyone missed it and would like to read it. I personally love your posts and agree with you about education. I just turned 19 and find this whole blog super relatable. Thanks for being you!

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    1. I get that not everyone agrees, but I just feel like if you don’t agree with someone, unless someone or something is being harmed, you move on. But hey, that’s just how I look at things. There’s a lot that I don’t agree with on WordPress. But no one is being harmed and nothing is being hurt, so it’s not my place.

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  11. I thought this was a place you can say whatever you want? I was not aware you can’t.

    It is not good to shelter kids from things – prepare them for life instead. I was over protected and sheltered as a child – don’t do that. Prepare them. Knowledge is power!

    Well – in my opinion – say what you believe. People are going to judge and be offended or whatever else, just how it is. So whatever – you be you, be strong and be yourself. People don’t have to read, but others want to… you may help someone who needs it or understands it… I didn’t get to read whatever it was. I would have liked to… I like to hear how others think or what they go through. Different perspectives or whatever – that’s what colors the world and makes us think, isn’t it?

    I did believe you could say what you wanted here. I believe in too much – I gotta watch that lol ✌️ I have had many lessons on life’s fairness or freeness 🤨✌️ I don’t like those lessons – they suck!!

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    1. I still think it is a place where you can say what you want. I just think if people are paying attention then you open yourself up to scrutiny. I guess, anyway.

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  12. Okay, I just went back and read it again and am even more confused as to why someone report it. You were encouraging people to NOT participate in destructive behaviors or beliefs. As a mom of 5, I would not be upset for my teenagers to read that post. I see that you already read guidelines and know what to do from this point on, but I just wanted to respond now that I reread it

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    1. Thank you Laura, I really appreciate your support. Sounds like you’re a really great mom. I know my mom was one of those people that tried to shelter us as long as possible and she never knew the half of what was going on behind the scenes…

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  13. Okay…so it seems that while I sleep, all the fun stuff happens 😛
    I didn’t get to see that post…and now I really wish I had.
    For anyone reading this comment, I was NOT the one who had an issue with it – but yes, I have a 14 year old (teenage) daughter.
    I don’t know what was in the post, but let me say this regarding ANY matter of a ‘sensitive’ nature : My daughter has a cellphone, with internet access, like most teenagers out there. She watches YouTube and has Instagram – ’nuff said. Because there is waaaaay too much stuff out there that is actually truly offensive and gives teens the wrong ideas and impressions.
    Do I hold ‘the world’ accountable for this? Nope. Because as her mom, I AM RESPONSIBLE for checking what it is she is actually up to. Since I can’t do this every minute of every day, I probably fail in this regard, and no doubt she has come across much that is not ideal for her age.
    Do I spend time reporting every thing I happen to come across? Nope. And not because I am a bad mother or don’t care about what is influencing the teenagers of this world.
    It’s because you hit the nail on the head : ”If people are educated when they’re younger, they’ll be more able to stick up for themselves and know they’re value when they reach an age in which they start a relationship of their own.”
    I have an open relationship with my daughter where she can ask me anything, and I will always be honest. Up until she was 11, my reply was always, ‘When you’re a little older, we can talk about it.’ At the age of 11 she came home and asked me something, heard at school from the boys, and I realised how much these kids actually ‘know and talk about’. It hit me that instead of causing a stir about something I can’t control, I needed to handle what I could. And so I answered that question. And every question since. She knows the boundaries and expectations, and understands that the world is not a pleasant place. Do I worry that she is looking at things she’s not supposed to? Yes. But the established open line of communication that we share usually means that I hear about it sometime – and then we deal with it accordingly. Treating her like a mini adult has actually discouraged her from following the behaviour patterns of her friends, to be honest.
    I can’t protect her from the world, but I can teach her and guide her in protecting herself.
    Quite honestly, people who have a fit about these things and do on tangents? They’re usually the people who have never fully experienced the harshness of reality. 😦

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      1. Thank you. I do the best I can, with what I have. But I don’t always get it right 😛 I just know what a tough time I had growing up, and I don’t want my kids suffering the same. I used the bad to make a change in me and TRY to be a good mom by not repeating the mistakes 😉

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  14. The post in question was well written, thoughtful and on a subject that – like mental health! – has been swept under the carpet for too long. Stuff needs to be said, and you said. Well done, you!

    It’s a big, bad world out there and one can’t wish it away. If 15 years olds are reading your blog, rather than playing computer games or whatever, they must already have started to move beyond fantasy and into the real world, so your post was just another step on the journey they will have to take as the become adults in a dangerous world.

    And yes, your post is still sitting on an email in my Yahoo account, where it will stay. Your words and wisdom live on!

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  15. Wow V, what the heck is going on? I read all your posts and haven’t seen anything that would offend, ever. And that person talking about 15-year-olds? does he/she live on this planet? Cos here, kids as young as 8/10 etc have access to all kinds of stuff online. I’d say it’s down to the parent as to how much or little access they allow their kids.

    Don’t you dare stop your posts. Caz

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    1. I made a post about videos on youtube that make me angry and why they make me angry and why their creators are promoting dangerous/harmful/risky behaviour with these videos.

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  18. I’m sorry to say I missed the post. I wish I hadn’t… my curiosity is killing me! Since I follow so many blogs, I usually wind up turning off the emails so that my inbox doesn’t blow up. And then I catch everything on Feedly. But I guess the post you’re talking about was removed before I had a chance to catch up. I hate that it got flagged. I had no idea that was a possibility on WordPress. I mean, I’d get it if it was full of hate speech or threats… But a blog is supposed to be a safe place for people to express their thoughts, free of censorship.

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  20. Honestly, I love your blog.

    I may not agree with all (or much – sorry) of what you have to say, but I love how you just lay it all out there. Those who can’t handle your opinions probably shouldn’t be reading your blog.

    Your writing has an awesome natural quality to it. It feels like I’m sitting across the table with a friend who’s pouring their heart out. That’s a gift. Keep writing.

    I look forward to reading your posts. Keep it up. 🙂

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  21. I’d love to read it now.
    I’m not sure re 15 year olds though I cant comment or have an opinion as I don’t know the content…
    I do know that teenagers are particularly vulnerable to anything and everything and I’m definitely cognizant of the fact that others are reading my posts and think carefully before anything that could be sensitive or triggering whether to go ahead and post it or not.

    I’m sad your post disappeared because it is your blog and your choices to make.

    Sending sunshine and sparkles

    Love, light and glitter

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  22. The individual who had an issue with that post has some very skewed values and ways of dealing with the world. Keep writing about what matters, Vee! Don’t let the few keep you down. I’m a firm believer than we’re on the right path when others want to censor us. You wrote about really important topics in that post.

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    1. HAHA. I’m laughing about it today because I honestly can’t believe something so small could stir up such controversy. You’re not missing out. Trust me.

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  27. Wow. I can’t believe this. I read that post and was shocked and totally agreed with you. However, while you talked about disturbing trends, you did do in a very sensitive way, and I think even a younger teenager could read your post without being besmirched? They’d be shocked, as I hope anyone would, but not scandalized. Education is very important, no matter the age.

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