Perhaps instead of telling people their insecurities are stupid, or to just ‘not worry about it’, we could try to help them. Perhaps we could try to empower them.

You don’t just ‘get over’ an insecurity because someone tells you to stop worrying about it. We all know our insecurities are irrational. That doesn’t stop them from being very real and very present. It takes, coping, encouragement, confidence… it takes effort. So, if someone is strong enough to admit their insecurity to you, offer help instead of your own opinions.

Sometimes there really are ways in which you an help and you might not even know it. You really don’t know what kind of a difference you could have in someone’s life until you try. So just try.

More empowerment less judgment.

38 thoughts on “Insecurities

  1. My mother in law God bless her spunky Italian heart just doesn’t get mental illness at all. She feels everyone should “just get over it already” because she either doesn’t get why you’re upset in the first place or because she is over the situation so you should be too. It becomes very hurtful to my husband and I at times so we just agree to let her be and make her stupid comments and then console each other later. Sometimes family sucks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your mother-in-law sounds a lot like my mom. Sometimes family really does suck. All we can do, though, is keep on going and trying to teach people who don’t understand. I’m so sorry your MIL doesn’t understand. I guess it’s a good thing that you have each other to understand one another.


    1. I think that entirely depends on the person an the insecurity. It would be different for everyone.

      Example for me: I’ve always been really insecure about my eyebrows because they’re very blonde and, in group photos, it can appear as though I don’t have any eyebrows on my face.

      People have always told me that it’s a really stupid insecurity to have and that I should get over it and not worry about it. It wasn’t until this year that my sister-in-law actually took it upon herself to find options for me to to help with my eyebrows. She and I went to a makeup class and learned how to fill in our brows, she took me to a consultation to find out how much it would cost to get my brows microbladed and then she photoshopped darker eye brows on me so I could see what they looked like. I know as I’m writing this, it really sounds so small and insignificant, being insecure about your eyebrows, but her going out of her way to help me try to work through the feelings so I wouldn’t feel so insecure about it, it meant a lot.

      Liked by 5 people

      1. Thank you for sharing this example as it made me understand that no insecurity is stupid. It’s a part of us to feel insecure about something and everyone has at least one, conscious or subconscious insecurity. What your sister-in-law did was absolutely great and indeed, this is a real help, not just talking over the issue to prove how irrelevant it is.


      2. This is real! I struggle with my eyebrows and eyelashes. I’ll toss on my sunglasses in photos because they make me look better. ugh 😦


      3. I’m the same. I have brown hair and blonde (invisible) eyebrows, since I started using a fair eyebrow pencil to draw them in, I don’t even think about it. Like you, it used to really bother me.


    2. P.S. Obviously everyone’s insecurities are different and some are much bigger than others and not as simple to help with as my sister in law helping me in the story I told. I was just trying to use it as an example, a small example of the ways someone could help.


    1. There’s definitely a lot to be said for having a good listener in your life. You can tell when someone’s listening and the genuinely care and when someone’s just kind of letting it go in one ear and out the other…


  2. Sometimes helping people just by listening is the best you can do. I’ma try to not shut down people when they talk about their insecurities great eye opener as always


  3. Yes finally someone who’s saying it out loud! I know people try to ‘help you’ by saying to get over your securities but we all know this doesn’t work at all. I try to give people a listening ear and hype them up by telling I love them. This isn’t going to take their insecurities away but I hope they’ll feel a little bit better this way. 🙂

    xoxo Simone |

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Here’s an idea: try not judge people at all.

    To quite President Obama’s mother: “Don’t conclude before you understand. After you understand, don’t judge.” Ann Dunham, anthropologist.


    1. While I’d love to live in a world where no one judges, I do know that it’s simply not possible. Human nature causes people to judge, even when they don’t want to be. It’s good to think about though, and it’s a good goal to work towards.


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