Things I think about when I’m trying to fall asleep at night…

“Did I lock the door?”

“Is the oven off? I haven’t cooked in hours. But, what if I left it on? I know I shouldn’t let my OCD win, but what if? Oh, anxiety you SOB.”

“How many times do you think I roll over in a night? I wonder if Fitbit could ever make an option to track that rolling over. That’s got to count for calories burned, right?”

“I wonder if there’s a way to send supplies to people struggling in North Korea.”

“I wonder if people in North Korea know they’re struggling. If that’s all they’ve ever known, maybe it’s just normal to them?”

“Why are avocados so expensive?”

“I wonder if I’ll ever get a job.”

“Passport to Paris is the best Mary-Kate and Ashley movie ever.”

“I wonder if I ever cross anyone’s mind when they’re trying to fall asleep at night.”

“Can the right pair of jeans really make my butt look that much better? I don’t want my butt to look average, do I? Or, do I really care?”

“English accents are just so adorable.”

“How can I start my own business?”

“I wonder what serial killers think about when they sleep at night.”

“Now that these ancestry kits are available where people are sending off their DNA to find out where there family comes from, do you think serial killers are wondering if their family members might be sending off their DNA and that, could eventually, lead to their getting caught?”

“If you get arrested, own up to it. If all you have is excuses, this likely wasn’t your first time and probably won’t be your last doing whatever caused you to get arrested.”

“I miss cheese. Oh and bread. And chocolate.”

“You should sleep.”

“You should really sleep. Why do you lay awake like this?”

“I have to pee.”

“Reading a book will help me sleep.” Picks up book and gets bored five pages in. “Yeah, I don’t want to read a book.”

“Why do people think Canadians talk funny?”

“Why do people think Canadians apologize so much?”

“Why do I apologize so much?”

“I wonder what people say about me behind my back. I mean, I don’t want to know because I know that it’ll eat away at me. But, at the same time, I’m curious.”

“Why do I have such a hard time sleeping? How do normal people go to sleep?”

“I wish I could sleep.”

Author: V

Overly sentimental, heel-loathing introvert, problem solver and lover of the night.

104 thoughts on “Things I think about when I’m trying to fall asleep at night…”

  1. Do you take anything? Today I bought this drink called “Neuro Sleep sweet dreams” and I hope it will help me to relax and get into a deep sleep! You are such a valuable person I want you to be able to rest well.

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    1. I take a supplement called ‘Fadeout’. It’s something that helps me stay asleep once I am asleep, but it doesn’t help me fall asleep. I’ve always been such a light sleeper that it takes me forever to fall asleep and then, when I do, something as simple as rolling over can cause me to wake up. Since starting to take Fadeout, now when I sleep I am asleep for the night. But, it doesn’t help me fall asleep faster, sadly.

      I’ve tried lots of various things over the years. I’ve never heard of neuro sleep, is it like a drugstore supplement?

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    2. I feel your very real pain. Repetitive thoughts that continue on a loop are terrible. They are the nightmares of every insomniac alive. Unfortunately, I have no advice, only empathy.

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      1. Vee, I just laughed so hard for 3 seconds that I coughed :). Jody Whiteley is a Sleep Hypnosis star, and she’s also a bit of comedian. You should watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HtxWksAegw
        Maybe I just have dorky sense of humor, but I find this video freakin’ hilarious. It also shows what a kind soul she is. You might also consider checking out her sleep hypnosis stuff? I’ve plugged her before. I think you said it doesn’t work for you but I’d be surprised if her “sleep hypnosis for anxiety” stuff didn’t help you at least some.

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  3. “Did I lock the door?”

    “Is the oven off? I haven’t cooked in hours. But, what if I left it on? I know I shouldn’t let my OCD win, but what if? Oh, anxiety you SOB.”

    “How many times do you think I roll over in a night? I wonder if Fitbit could ever make an option to track that rolling over. That’s got to count for calories burned, right?”

    — All of these, although I’ve never contemplated the Fitbit option and I obsess more about the oven when we’re going somewhere.

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  4. When unable to sleep and doing the same type of overthinking that you were doing I realized something. When I roll over I only rotate to the left. On my back, to the left, to my stomach, to my right, and repeat as sleeplessness allows.

    And I almost guarantee someone thinks about you as they fall asleep. It’s comforting to think about it too.

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    1. Sounds like you’re a creature of habit! Sometimes I try to put my head at the foot of the bed but that feels to awkward, so I always just toss and turn thinking of stupid things. lol

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    2. I had to laugh just a bit because my mind does this as well. It’s more or less work related stuff; and with me being a social worker, I wonder if kids are safe, if I made good decisions that day. Luckily, I sleep next to a man who checks the door so I’m not too worried about that, but I have had panic moments wondering if I blew out a candle or left the stove on. I hope you’re able to find a way to fall asleep. I usually use Insight Timer and put on some calming sounds and that usually helps me!

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      1. Why did logic cause long division to go from left to right?

        Why can’t us lefthanders invent our own written language by writing words from right to left?

        Why did the alphabet start with the letter A and why does it have to stay in the same sequence?

        Why do some things hurt so bad that they feel good?

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  6. Girrrrrl, my mind thinks if everything from when I was a kid up until now. Playing out scenarios that I “could’ve, would’ve, should’ve” and my “can’ts and won’ts.”

    Then I think if all the things people have said to me; trying to analyze and decipher what they meant and if there were hidden meanings.

    Then I think about how my life is now and if I’m truly happy with it or just nonchalant about it?

    I think and things I want to do and be before I leave this earth.

    Then I TRY not to think and end up on social media… then I chastise myself for it and end up tossing and turning and by the time I actually close my eyes, it’s time to get up.

    No wonder I have dark circles under my eyes.

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    1. Thank goodness I’ve never played the ‘what if’ or ‘what could’ve been’ game… I can’t imagine going through that. I bet it’s really tough, I am sorry.

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      1. Yes, but that falls into MY depression and anxiety phases. I try not to fall into it though. I’ve gotten better.

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      1. A few years ago coconut oil was a big fad and was super popular. Maybe it still is. People claimed that coconut oil solved all sorts of problems. Coconut oil later became a joke/meme. You got this problem? Coconut oil will fix it! That kinda thing.

        Can’t sleep? Just use coconut oil! Marriage problems? Coconut oil. Anxiety? Coconut oil. Rude people at the grocery store? Coconut oil. Works better than banana peels. Myth Busters busted that myth and concluded that banana peels don’t actually cause people to slip and fall, contrary to what we learned from Mario Kart.

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      2. HAHAHA I enjoy this so much and now that you say it am reminded of all the things people have told me to use coconut oil for over the years.

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      5. @ZeroSpace My husband won’t let me try CBD oil even though the stuff is legal here in Canada. I considered it at one point because my ocular migraines and auras can be unbearable. I am open to try anything that could potentially improve my situation. He is one of the lucky ones who doesn’t get these awful visual distortions and painful migraines. I am going to talk to the doctor on Monday about the auras because lately, I’ve been getting them which is really frustrating.

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      6. Knight wanted me to try CBD oil to see if it would help with my anxiety but he wouldn’t let either of us buy it because he doesn’t want it to cause us issue in trying to travel to the States.

        Does Nick just not want you to try it because he thinks it’s bad? Or is he worried about travelling? It seems weird to not try all options?

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      7. That sounds terrible. I guess I was just saying CBD in relation to anxiety, and kind of overblown for a lot of other things in general like coconut oil was. However, if there’s any chance it helps with migraines I support that. It’s curious that your husband is against it. They have the full spectrum stuff that has THC, but there’s also the stuff that has zero THC.

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  9. So, a friend of mine is really into genealogy and the DNA stuff. There’s a cold case about a young girl that was raped and murdered in the mid-west linked to a cousin through DNA matching. This is recent. They’re using DNA testing through ancestry and other sources to solve crimes. Thought you’d like to know. 🙂

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    1. Dudeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Have you ever read about the Golden State Killer? It’s how he was caught. They matched his DNA from a crime scene to through one of those genealogy services and narrowed it down thanks to his relatives having sent in their DNA to find out their ancestry… I’m obsessed with reading about people who’ve been brought to justice because of the rise of these DNA kits. But also, the other ramifications of these DNA services as well…

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      1. I haven’t. That’s really cool. I can’t begin to imagine he long term ramifications of all the DNA testing and stuff we’re doing for fun these days. I’m one of the masses. lol Have you seen the movie Gattaca? If not… watch it. Ethan Hawke and Jude Law.

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  13. I climbed out of bed last night at 2 am because I thought I might have left my oven on. Even though dinner had been cooked and put away about four hours earlier. The mind works in mysterious ways. I did not burn my condo down today.

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  17. Smelling actual lavender gets me off to sleep (or at least it has done in the past when I had terrible insomnia).
    Failing that, whenever I snuggle down with the dog on the sofa downstairs I am so relaxed I sleep better than I do with my husband next to me! Maybe grab your pillow and find your dog to snuggle up with. If nothing else, one of you (the dog) will have the best sleep ever!

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    1. I’d always heard lavender was really good for relaxing and calming people so the Christmas before last Knight bought me a Lavender pillow spray (because that’s a thing for people to help them sleep), I laid down on the pillow and my face swelled up like a balloon! No lavender for this girl. Highly allergic, sadly 😦

      That’s really cute that you snuggle up with your dog. I’m picturing that and I bet it’s pretty adorable! Mine likes to run in her sleep… they both do actually. I don’t know how well they’d take to someone sleeping next to them… hahahahaha

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      1. Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear you had a reaction like that. I hope you’re okay now.
        Yes my lab comes and snuggles with me which is nice, I love it when she fits her body around mine so perfectly, then does that deep sigh when her neck is finally resting right where she wants it to be, usually on my neck or if she’s the other way round then my feet! Perhaps with two dogs it could get more tricky though…

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  18. For me it’s the worry that I’ll wake up gasping for air just as soon as I cross over to sleep, which happens a couple of times a week. Shout out to my main man, Panic Disorder! As soon as the thought enters my mind I’m terrified to fall asleep and then spend a considerable amount of time trying to remind myself that worry is like a rocking chair (you feel like you’re getting somewhere but you’re really not) before I finally pass out from exhaustion. I’d much rather ponder why is Canadians are so apologetic! 😊

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  20. Is my boyfriend thinking about me while he’s sleeping. I should go get watermelon. I want pizza. I need a new car. How much longer can I keep my current car. I want to travel to England. How much would a flight cost? Why can’t I fall asleep. I need to pee. How can I make writing into my career? Do I complain too much?

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    1. Yes. Maybe not before bed. For breakfast! Possibly. A year or two? So do I so let’s go together! Roughly $100 roundtrip from Canada. Not sure – could be you just had too much caffeine, could be a hormonal imbalance, could be anxiety, depends on who you are! I also need to pee. If you figure it out, please share your secret. Definitely not!

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  21. It’s one thing to think them… it’s a whole different ball game when you google them seeking answers at 2am!!

    Whilst lighthearted (I can’t lie, I had a few chuckles reading this, as well as speaking to myself out loud for a couple of minutes trying to understand your fondness of the English accent), it must get tiresome! I hope you have a few thought free nights, and get some good sleep!!

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    1. Oh, I would never google them because I feel like everything I’ve heard about the effects screens have on our eyes when we’re trying to fall asleep would set me back even farther from falling asleep.

      English accents are just the most delightful. Everything English folk say just sounds so delightful – even when they’re mad you just can’t help but smile.

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    1. I overdid it with melatonin for a while and it no longer works for me. You know when you take something too long and your body starts to get used to it and it’s less effective? Yeah, that’s the story of my life. lol

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  25. I feel so exposed right now because I swear I’ve had everyone of these thoughts keep me up at least once haha.

    Also – I got grounded once when I was younger for saying sorry too often. So to answer “why do people think Canadians apologize so much”… it’s me. I’m the reason.

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      1. Both! Lol, nothing beats a Southern accent ;). I’m from the Midlands so it’s all exotic to me. It’s like proper quaint English –– haha, same reason as you’ll like it!

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      2. Talking of voices I’m listening to your podcast episode, which I found through A Writer’s Soul Blog’s post, because i can’t sleep lol. Ohhh myy goddd you just started talking about English accents right then, lmao. Sorry, now if you’ll excuse me please, I need to do a wee.

        Back. No, seriously though it’s a been pleasure to listen to so far, you’re articulate in real life too and don’t say um or like too often! Haha. You should get into more podcasts 👍.

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      3. Thanks! It’s probably just me being too critical but I think I sound extremely awkward and ditzy in that so that’s why I haven’t actually shared it to my blog.

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      4. I could tell you were a little nervous in the beginning but you really eased into it. The tone of your blog translated to your speaking voice –– your character and conviction came across, you have intelligence/charisma. I’d honestly enjoy hearing you discuss interesting subjects more.

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      6. Also thank youuu, I had the idea whilst listening to the podcast last night to start a new blog, as I want to keep it to poems on my current blog, and I realised I’d really enjoy doing normal blogging too. I am so far 🙂

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      8. Wait, have you? How? I’ve noticed a few of my normal followers on there. Are they showing up in the usual feed?

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      13. Anyways fair enough if you found it by searching xD, that’s pretty funny. What term did you search for? 😅

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  30. Why are avocado’s so expensive & You should sleep really got me ha! Really though, why are avocados so expensive!?

    Have you tried the headspace app? It’s really calming and helps me fall to sleep 9/10! Worth a try maybe!😊

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  33. It’s crazy how quickly our thoughts can flit from one thing to the next! I take some medication called Melatonin which helps me fall asleep.

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