Story Time – Blaming ‘the other woman’

I’m horrible with telling stories but this one just… yeah.

In my previous life (my last job) one of the things that I did as a part of my job duties was plan charitable events to raise money for those in need. These events varied from banquets to sports tournaments to good ole’ fashioned telethons where we took donations.

In order to entice more people to come to our events and spend all of their money, I was in charge of getting various people of a certain ‘status’ in society to come to the events as well. What we would do was insert who we would refer to as ‘celebrities’ into teams, or at various tables, throughout the events so they were mingling with the folks who had big bank accounts that we wanted donations from.

One of the ‘celebrities’ (I feel weird using that term because I don’t think he’s a celebrity, but for lack of better terminology, I’ll use this term from here on out) that we ALWAYS had at our events, we’ll call him Luke, presently plays in one of the major North American Professional Sports Leagues.

Luke is an asshole.

Luke is a philanderer.

Luke likes to take money and free things from wherever he can get it.

I’ve mentioned my previous boss on this blog before, he was a pretty horrible dude and kind of an idiot. Well, his philosophy was that, if he made the celebrities happy, it didn’t matter how much he spent because the rich folk would make donations and he could just write those expenses off from the donations he got.

So my former boss used to tell me ‘it doesn’t matter how much it costs, or what it is, just make sure that Luke is happy’.

Oh, I should add, Luke is married.

Luke never invited his wife on these trips to these events because Luke wanted time away from his wife to be a philanderer.

My former boss, being male and an asshole just like Luke, used to egg him on. He would take Luke to bars after the event was over and tell him to ‘go for it’ in reference to grabbing women and fondling them, or trying to coax them into the upgrade king suite room my boss had upgrade Luke too at the hotel.

Essentially, his attitude was ‘Your wife’s not here so why not hook up with whomever you please and have a little fun!’

One of the things that he used to say to Luke was ‘When wifey’s away, the boys will play’.

Yeah, I know, it used to make me vomit as well. I always had a really hard time with it. Morally, it felt wrong. Legally, it felt wrong spending charitable dollars to get him an upgraded room, a car service, everything he wanted. But, when I ‘took too long’ to organize these things, my boss would do it himself and remind me that I’m useless.

I always felt really bad for his wife. She was married to this cockroach of a human being and a part of me wondered if she knew or not what happened when he went to these events. (It’s worth noting he wouldn’t just attend our events, he would go to any events where they would give him free stuff, free rooms, free car rentals for the weekend, etc…)

After about four years of running these events, paying for Luke to have whatever he wanted so that it was that much easier for him to cheat on his wife, I actually wound up in a hair salon at the same time as Luke’s wife one afternoon.

She was there with a friend of her’s, they were sitting next to each other in the chairs getting their hair dyed blonde. (A professional athlete married to a fake blonde… there’s a stereotype for you)

Initially, I didn’t meet her, I was just sitting two chairs down from them there to get my hair cut. I could hear the conversation that she was having with her friend and her friend was telling her to cut her losses and leave Luke. Her friend was telling her that Luke wasn’t a good guy and that she deserved better. In that moment, I really appreciated her friend as a human being because… you know you’ve got a damn good friend when they’re willing to tell you brutal and honest truths like that.

I was a little taken aback by her response to her friend. She essentially told her friend to shut up and that she wasn’t giving up the life that being the wife of an athlete has awarded her. She then went on to say that she really didn’t care who Luke ran around with because at the end of the day, he always came back to her and he’d always come with gifts when he did.

It was at that point that I really stopped feeling sorry for her.

She openly knew her husband was cheating on her and she didn’t care because being married to him made her rich. Hey, if you’re cool with your husband cheating on you then I’m going to stop considering you at all when I see how many women your husband can hook up with in one night. Threesomes… foursomes… fivesomes… yeah.

Fast forward to, well to today.

Luke’s wife is actually pregnant right now and Luke’s name has been floating around gossip websites/blogs/tweets about the league he plays in the past week. The rumour is that someone else is also pregnant with his child.

Am I surprised? Not even in the slightest.

Do I think this could be true? Even if it wasn’t true, people in the league’s circles know how much of a philanderer he is, so I don’t think people are questioning the truth to it. I genuinely think people just assume it’s true.

What shocked me was that I went to his wife’s Instagram page today to see if she’d posted anything since these rumours started circulating. Seem his wife is presently trying to become an ‘Influencer’, and she has quite the following. Today, she posted a photo of her baby bump with a lengthy caption proclaiming that this woman (calling her out by name) is responsible for breaking up her family. The caption went on to call this woman various, very graphic names as insults, proclaiming that she knew what she was doing and why are women so horrible and how could this woman take advantage of her poor, innocent husband like this. This post was incredible vicious from start to finish. She called this woman a social climber, said that she only hooked up with Luke because of his athlete status and at the end of it she encouraged her Instagram followers to go to this woman’s Instagram page and harass her for breaking up Luke’s family.

I’m sorry that I’m not sorry. Dear Luke’s wife… you’ve literally known for years that your husband cheats on you with… practically anyone who has a vagina. In fact, he slept with two of my former coworkers. You’ve openly told your friends that you stay with Luke because you like the life of being married to an athlete and because he always brings you gifts when he comes back from cheating on you.

WHAT FUCKING RIGHT DO YOU HAVE CALLING ON PEOPLE TO HARASS THIS WOMAN? Why is this woman’s fault and not your husband’s fault? He knew what he was doing. He was a willing participant in this. If we’re all being honest with this scenario, he’s probably the person who initiated it.

The human race.

I don’t understand the human race.

If a woman did get pregnant from having sex from a married man, that sucks. That sucks for her and her child to be because the child will probably always be treated as the mistake.

The thing I don’t understand though, why is it this woman’s fault? Your husband chose to cheat. Two consenting adults were involved in this. And, given the fact that you’ve known he’s been cheating on you all along, I’d go so far as to say three consenting adults were involved in this. So you sending your Instagram followers after this woman to harass here is pretty fucking stupid and pretty fucking petty.

Honestly, this woman who’s rumoured to be pregnant, I hope that she takes legal action against them. Luke’s wife told the internet where she works in the end of her vicious post about her. She openly called for people to harass her and then told the internet where she worked. I’m not well versed in the legal system, but couldn’t she be charged for inciting violence?

Anyways, that’s the drama for today.

49 thoughts on “Story Time – Blaming ‘the other woman’

  1. Your story is probably being repeated between couples thousands of times across North America alone.
    The saying that came to my mind, just a different way of what you used, “when the cats away the mice will play”.
    You are not the only one who doesn’t understand human behavior!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I never would’ve thought you’d been divorced twice! Maybe I ought to pick your brain via email one day… I want to hear more about this life you’ve lead.

        Liked by 3 people

  2. Good post. It goes to show that, from the outside of another’s relationship, it’s impossible to know everything about what’s going on inside it despite wanting to speak out or offer advice.

    Each were happy about ‘the deal’ and went about their business without a problem until another individual had something to say.

    That’s why it’s best to keep quiet and live our own life to our own standard and let people have theirs.

    Who knows, it’s entirely possible, that our own standard will change as life equips us with new knowledge and experiences we never could’ve anticipated when beginning this journey.

    These days, I’m slower to judge. I’m less annoyed or disappointed in people’s behavior and more accepting of those ‘social oddities’. It’s too troubling to figure out everything and everyone at once. In fact, it’s impossible.

    Stepping away is an option I exercise when I’m overwhelmed by internal indifference.


    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well I think that’s kind of what’s the point… she knew what she was getting herself into and she knew the behaviour her husband was taking part in.I don’t know… it’s a sticky situation. She’s probably even more upset because of her pregnancy, but still, she’s known who her husband is all along.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. When I was a much younger guy, I heard somebody say “people eventually get the government they deserve” and it completely changed my world-view, as I realized that the same dynamic applies to virtually all aspects of life.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Is that kind of like… karma will come back on them? I’ve not heard that phrase before, so I’m trying to make sure I don’t misinterpret.


  4. Human beings are cruel and selfish creatures by nature, unfortunately. These sort of traits are simply hardwired into our brains for survival, because every living thing instinctively knows that life is about survival of the fittest. But due to the social nature of Humans, these instincts that we have turn into behavior such as this. It’s incredibly sad what the world is coming to, as well as the vile things that people are capable of. Personally, I try not to become emotionally invested in other people’s drama and I also try not to judge them for their behavior. I know that I’m not perfect, I do questionable things at times. And if I had been in the same shoes as the person that I was judging, I may have even behaved similarly to the way they did for all I know. The fact is though, that I don’t know. So I have no right to pass judgment or give my opinion on something that I know nothing about. Life is a lot less stressful when you don’t allow yourself to get emotional over things that you have no control of πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Fair assessment. I don’t know the truth, this is all speculation (it’s part of the reason why Luke is a fake name and I never released the name of the wife or the other woman)

      For me, I just don’t think it’s right that she’s asking people to harass this woman, or that she’s trying to play like she never knew her husband was a cheater, when she’s known at the very least since the day I sat two chairs down from her at the hair salon…

      I get what you’re saying though and I appreciate your perspective and your reminding me to not be judgemental, especially when it has nothing to do with me. So thank you for that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh I completely agree, it is totally messed up that she attacked the other woman. The other woman should absolutely press charges. I 100% have the same stance as you when I look at this situation and it’s horrible. I was just explaining the sad truth about why people are the way they are, and I honestly believe it’s just instinctual for us as humans to do things that are selfish and try to assert dominance. I’m not saying I like it πŸ˜‚ but we are animals and living creatures just naturally have these traits as a means for survival. Humans just act on those instinctual traits in very different ways.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. And you mentioned that the wife was claiming that her family was “torn apart”. Does this mean that this rumor was enough for her to let go of her lavish lifestyle as an athlete’s wife?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nothing’s been said about a split as of yet.
        Honestly, with how many years he’s been cheating on her and she’s been putting up with it, I wonder if she’ll stick around. She’s never worked. She never went to school. I think she’d have a hard time finding a job that wasn’t minimum wage, so I wonder if she’d be willing to give that up? But, since there’s a soon to be kid involved, I wonder if she’ll say ‘For our kid’s sake, I’m leaving’.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Obviously she didn’t care that he was cheating until the rest of society actually knew about it. It’s almost like she is putting up a front, pretending to be upset that he is cheating so it looks like she actually cares and that she isn’t just in it for the money. She may do the opposite of what you said and use the kid as an excuse to stay with him anyway so she can keep her current lifestyle without looking like a gold digger lol

        Liked by 1 person

      4. You’re right. If she kicks up a fuss, she looks like she has an issue with it and that she’s not just with him for his money.


  5. It’s so sad that people act like this and on both sides, what happened to love? It seems to have disappeared over time for sex, money, status and well really bad behaviour and then blaming others for their bad behaviour it’s a sad world πŸ˜”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. If I was her, I would leave even if he was rich. It’s not worth it. Love and respect are more important. You are right about her trying to prove she’s an influencer by making people attack another woman. But no influencer would do anything like that. At least not on purpose


    1. I wish she would leave. Honestly, when I see females in that situation – even if I don’t feel sorry for her, I feel sorry for her kid to be.

      I don’t think her sending people after ‘the other woman’ was right. That really bothered me. I hope the other woman is okay. Her life is probably hell right now, though.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely. I don’t know anyone who knows this guy who trusts him. I guess it’s all about who you want to be in this world, with your life.


  7. This is one of the things I don’t get and probably never will. The other woman didn’t marry (general) you. She never promised you to be faithful, and doesn’t owe you anything other than basic decency. Your partner was the one who made you promises, so why not take it up with them?


    1. He makes all the money. And I mean ALLLLLLL the money. What’s a bigger risk for her – blaming the other woman, or taking it up with the man that’s bringing home 6.8 million a year in salary whether he’s healthy or injured?

      Your question is relevant in a lot of situations, I definitely agree. With respect to these two – she’s not going to rock the boat. She needs that cash to maintain her affluent lifestyle that she’s become so accustomed to.


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