The perk of being anonymous.

I get asked A LOT as to why there’s no face to my blog. Would you believe me if I said that I’m shy? Because I am. But, more importantly than that, I choose to be anonymous because it allows my blog to be about me, not about what I look like.

Why am I anonymous? Because I want to be.

It’s 2020 and, as much as the world has evolved, there’s still a long way to go when it comes to judgmental folk.. People place a lot of value on the way that you look. Yes, you. You, me, the man across the street. We all get judged based on our appearance. So, the thing about nobody knowing what I look like gives to me is an ability to know that I’m being judged for who I am, not what I look like.

It’s freeing.

If someone likes me, they like me for my outlook, personality and how I treat others, not because of what I look like. And, if someone doesn’t like me, they don’t like me because they don’t like my outlook, personality or how I treat others, not because of what I look like.

I can’t stress enough what a cool feeling that is.

As someone who’s spent the majority of her life being judged for her appearance, it’s a nice feeling to get judged for who I am, not what I look like.

Honestly, you can imagine me whatever way that you want to. Whether you think I am the 31 year old female I’ve told you that I am, or you think that I’m a 65 year old man who hoards butter-finger wrappers in a fish bowl (shout out to anyone who watches ‘2 Broke Girls’), that’s okay. The perk to being anonymous is that I can be whoever you want me to be, whoever you envision me to be and it just doesn’t matter.

I like being anonymous. I am shy. I am an introvert. Pouring my heart out to the internet gives me solace in a world where those that know me don’t really know much more than what’s on the outside.

Being anonymous has allowed me to feel the most like myself.

101 thoughts on “The perk of being anonymous.”

  5. Not that it really matters, but I have a feeling you’re a peach. I’d probably flirt. You said some asshat interviewer called you “doll”. I can’t help commenting because it’s this huge mystery. “WTF does V look like?” hahaaa. But you’re right, it doesn’t matter at all.
    I will say – I like your blog and I like you for who you are based on this blog. I’ve said it before but you’re a compelling blogger with your mix of vulnerability, sassy ways, and marketing tutorials. You had this line in one post I really liked. You said blogging is about expression rather than writing. I really liked that, and have found it to be true.

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    1. Thank you for appreciating me for exactly who I am. It’s something I’ve always desired to find from people in my daily life, but this place seems to fill the void! Also, you’re right that blogging is about expression and how you portray yourself as and who you want to be.

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  6. I’d hit “like” several times but it would just turn it on and off. But I (and I’m sure many others here) feel like I know you despite your anonymity. Good job. Mine is anonymous as well. I intended to just write about things bothering me, loneliness, depression, etc. just for myself so I didn’t keep it bottled in. The fact 50-something people now sometimes watch me cry on the internet is rather crazy. But I’ve heard from several who say they relate. I’ve stayed anonymous so if people know someone like me maybe it will inspire them to reach out to that person to perhaps help in some way.

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    1. I think there’s a certain relatability in anonymity. As weird as that is. I think that you, in being who you are, is something that people can relate to whether or not they openly admit to it or not.

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  9. Except I know how you look 😁 I feel like I have a superpower since the majority of people haven’t seen you [yet]. I show my face since I have nothing to hide (seriously, I’m an open book) but with that comes disadvantages. For example, my aunt now reads my blog, my mom reads my blog, and some students know about my blog’s existence.

    Being judged sucks, but remember that those people aren’t meant to be part of your tribe anyways. The best kinds of people are the transparent folk. That is, those who accept you for being you.

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  10. I tell my two sons to not no never judge books by their covers and the same goes for people. Too many times, the people who are so pretty on the outside are so ugly on the inside. I say do whatever feels true for you. Your voice makes you beautiful, inquisitive and interesting in my eyes. Whatever makes sense to you. I accept people where they’re at because that’s what I would want. I have dealt with an amazing about of pain throughout my lifetime that most wouldn’t believe because I’m a pretty girl….who cares really…..I have had people do the opposite. Think my life is all roses and ice cream cones. I thoroughly enjoy your posts and look forward to them. Whatever you look like doesn’t matter to me. How are you feeling btw??

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    1. One’s life is how they choose to lead it. Whether we may it look like rainbows and sunshine, or we delve deep into the things other’s might not want to hear, who we are has nothing to do with what we look like and, you’re so right in teaching to not judge a book by it’s cover because honestly, the cover might just be the worst part of the book.

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  11. I can relate… I myself go anonymous (although my name is kinda there) ! I’m shy and not comfortable sharing my pictures online and basically want to share my thoughts, ideas and personality most… my blog is not even about makeup or beauty so I think I is all fine for me.

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    1. I think being here in name rather than face is such a nice way to do things. Honestly, I have nothing against people who do show themselves, I just think there’s something so powerful about putting yourself out there without your face attached!

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  17. I so agree with you on this! I write openly, but there is always this feeling of self-consciousness. As much as I try to be in my posts the way I am in my thoughts, somehow the connection breaks at some point. I am also an introvert, and I have social phobia and anxiety.

    That is why I have an anonymous blog on the side on another platform.
    I agree with you. It is freeing!

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      1. Yes, I do. They both have their beauty but in the anonymous I feel freer to be what I want to be and not what I am. I don’t mean cheating and telling lies. No. But it gives me the ability to dream, while when I have my name I feel somewhat limited what to share and how. I don’t know if my explanation was clear.

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  19. I can relate to this so much. I am also an introvert, who feels judged by everything I say and do. Writing is much easier than talking, especially as I feel most people don’t even want to understand how most people just make me feel. However, I do have some photos of me in some of my posts, but I get that you don’t want that. You don’t have to. It’s your site, you decide what you share. You are honest in your writing, and that is what I admire so much about you. I know many people who just hide their true self under tons of makeup. I don’t like that our world focuses so much on someone’s looks, when the real beauty is defined by someone’s character. Be who you are, do what feels good for you. I don’t wanna be a doll dressed by society, I wanna be me. There is nothing more beautiful than being yourself ❤️

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  20. I can relate. I’m a little shy too even though I’m an extrovert. That’s not strictly why my blog is anonymous though. It’s about the freedom to be myself and not worry about who sees it. It also protects my family and friends who would rather not plaster their lives all over the internet like I do. 🙂

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    1. I think it’s definitely your soul that I appreciate the most. You could be Santa Claus or George Clooney, it wouldn’t matter to me. Who you are as a person is someone I appreciate dearly.

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  23. That’s really interesting. You’re definitely NOT a 65-year old man though, haha.

    I played with switching to being anonymous recently, for the same reasons. But I’m kind of torn, because I also like the idea of showing that I don’t care if people DO know it’s me writing stuff, describing my mental health issues etc. And I want them to link it to me, as something that I’m proud of. My blog has a different theme, of course, as well as the fact I’ll have different goals.

    Guess we just do what’s in our hearts at the time :), without trying to fit any model.

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    1. I could be a 65 year old man.

      Also, I think it’s important to note that you can be proud of your blog if you show your face and you can be proud of your blog if you don’t show your face. It’s still a piece of you, and if you work hard at it you should be proud of it. You know what I mean?

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      1. Haha 🤣, I just mean as far as I’m concerned, if you were pretending, then you would have been remarkably consistent, to the point where I’ve personally decided it’s a virtual certainty that you’re not a 65-year old man. Lol. –– Plus, the podcast episode! *Shhh*.

        Oh yeah, I totally get you and agree :). The extra thing is that I DO want writing to be what I ultimately do, or at least some of my productive time, so I want it all linked to me for promotional reasons. Or not even promotional–– just for the personal identification with myself that writing is ‘what I do’ :). And tying my identity to it increases that link. I guess it’s like ‘coming out’ vs not coming out!

        Man so philosophical… 😀

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  25. Back when I started using the internet, everyone always said to not tell anyone who you are, where you live, what you look like, etc. Social media seems to have destroyed that cautiousness for a lot of people, but I think the internet is best when you have the anonymity. Paradoxically, I think you expose the real you more when you aren’t worried about it being linked to your real life.

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    1. I remember when I first started using the internet my parents were like ‘DON’T YOU DARE GIVE OUT YOUR NAME!’ So I completely know what you mean there.

      Also, your last statement, I almost wonder if you do expose more when you’re not worried about it coming back to haunt you. Who knows. I think I can/tend to. I think it depends on the person.

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  26. I can also relate…i have struggled with remaining anonymous or not, and have chosen to not be but to share my site with those who may not know me. I’m still working up the courage to share my site with those that do–staying anonymous with them allows me to practice being real but not having to let everyone in my current reality know everything I’m thinking or open doors to them wanting to talk about it. Love your clarity about this.

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  27. I love and appreciate anonymity, but for myself I chose not to. My reasoning was that I am looking for an outlet to share my (hopefully helpful) insights about work, and I think that being able to look me up and understand my background helps to make it more credible.

    Your writing is of a different style, so I think staying anonymous is the right choice for you. It enables you to share with us some of the more raw experiences you’ve had and your unfiltered perspective.

    Cheers! -Nina

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    1. Thank you, my dear ❤

      I do think that, even with anonymity, people who've followed my blog a while understand my background. I at least hope that I come across as credible!

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  28. Now I have a question. Is the logo on the blog based off you or is it just a design? It’s vague enough to still keep the anonymity, but still has the likeness of an actual person.

    I understand the beauty and freedom of being anonymous but have given it up myself. Why? Laziness. I’m terrified that I’ll get lazy in the web of social media sites and somehow link back to myself or find myself being discovered. I find it easier to be me even though I’d love to stay hidden and feel totally free to write whatever.

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    1. It’s a stock photo I purchased to use early last year. I just liked it because I wear my hair like that a lot. So I guess you could say it’s a little bit like me? I have blonde hair, blonde eyebrows and blonde eyelashes though soo… it’s not entirely like me much, I guess.

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  30. I totally agree. I heard on the news that in America they use all the profile things for job seekers, so not only qualifications and the computer can even automatically select by ethnic identity from prints and photos. It can detect race, age, and beauty etc. This is so sad. So remember next time you are asked to sign in with voice, face, or print.

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    1. There are some employers who straight up require you to send a photo with your application these days. Which in itself is sad. But they’re claiming it’s because if they have photos to look at they can ensure they select an ethnically diverse staff.

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      1. Yes very sad. Because for some people, they can never get off to a start in life, even if they have all the right qualifications and experience.

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  32. I play it safe and imagine like five version of you, 31-year-old woman and 65-year-old butterfinger wrapper uncle Charlie included!! Making up your guises is one of my hobbies 🖤 if you write something really mad I’ll imagine you as a New Jersey mob boss’s wife with a thirsty trigger finger! 😂

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  33. I LOVE that you are anonymous because it allows you to be you, without being judged about your looks. You are absolutely right in the fact that people will judge you no matter what. Whether good or bad judgments, they’re still judgments! 🙂

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      3. I don’t think it’s a matter of should we or shouldn’t we, I think it’s a matter of knowing your own brain and deciding to control what you can and leave what you can’t.

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  38. “It is not important what other people think about me, important is what I think about myself!” I’m an introvert myself (99%) based on a personality study done. You represent on the outside, what you are on the inside! So, it is you – stand up for and be yourself and not what society wants you to be – that would be fake anyways!! It took me more than 40 years to understand that and to do it. It feels great – only regret – I have waited too long to do it, because of false society values. If you don’t like what you see in a mirror – change it! If you like what you see – go and show it!! Beauty is not a society standard. It is what you think and like about yourself!

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    1. I wholehertedly agree – you get to determine what is beautiful and what isn’t. You get to determine what there is value in. The people around you do not get a say in the matter!

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