A Knight’s Tale

Have you ever met someone and you just knew, instantaneously, that they were supposed to be a part of your life? It’s like they just fit. I liken it to finding a piece to a puzzle that you weren’t even aware you were missing.

One day you’re living your life, trying to convince yourself that you’re perfectly fine on your own and that perhaps love isn’t for you. The next day a Knight in Shining Armour rides in on a white horse and flips your whole world on its head. Yeah, it sounds cliche, but that’s kind of what it felt like when it was happening.

In my early twenties I was in a somewhat-serious relationship. You know that feeling when you’re young and in love and it feels like nothing in this world can break you. Well, he broke me. He got a (then) friend of mine pregnant and they went on to have a child and separate shortly thereafter. Anyways, this story isn’t about ‘him’.

Following ‘him’, I was single for a long time. A LONG time. Just over six years, I’d say. I focused on my job and, while I went on occasional dates, none of them seemed to ever matter.

At 28, I decided to try my hand at online dating. I can’t really pinpoint what made me make the profile, but I opted to delete it rather quickly. I went on a few useless/stupid first dates with some less-than noteworthy guys and was getting an overwhelming amount of disgusting messages from thirsty men who saw my pictures and decided it was alright to let their inner horn-dog flow through their pick-up lines.

So, I deleted it.

Eight months later, after some convincing from a friend, I made a new dating profile. She convinced me that perhaps I was too quick to judge and that perhaps there might be someone out there for me, if I just give it the chance. She also reminded me that I was complaining of being lonely a lot. (That might have had the biggest hand in my decision)

While I found myself inundated with thirsty messages from men that I reckon hadn’t actually spoken with a lot of females in their lives, there was one message that stood out. It was from a man named Knight.

Something about him was different. He spoke in full sentences. He came across as thoughtful, intelligent and… dare I say… valiant. Where 99% of the men on that website saw blonde hair, blue eyes and big boobs, he actually went through and read my entire profile. (It wasn’t lengthy, but it also wasn’t important to 99% of the men on that site) There was just something about him that was enthralling.

I ended up giving him my phone number so that I did not have to log onto the website to talk to him. (Long story short – every time you logged into the website, it would show to all the users of the website that you were online… and when people saw that I was online, they’d send me messages to try and get my attention) If I do recall, and he might correct me on this, it was only a couple of days of talking before we decided to meet in person. I think we started talking on Tuesday and we might have met that Friday. I think!

I do recall telling him I wasn’t going to meet him. I do recall being very shy and very unsure about meeting him. Not because I didn’t want to meet him but because I was worried he wouldn’t like me and I didn’t want to get my hopes up about this great guy for him to meet me in person and be disappointed.

After much convincing though (on his part), we decided to meet after he got off work that Friday. He worked at a hotel, the afternoon shift, so he worked from like 3-11 ish.. so we planned to get a drink after that.

I remember giving him my address and then immediately thinking ‘what the hell are you doing? You just gave him your address. What if he’s a serial killer?’

He pulled up shortly after 11, called and said he was outside and then I walked out and got in his car. Which was so not like me, but I did it. Something about him just made me feel like it was okay and that I needed to stop worrying.

On the way to the bar he asked me why I was so worried about meeting him. I explained to him about the fears that come with meeting someone online and I think he understood why I had, so many times, told him I wasn’t willing to meet him.

When we got to the bar, we sat down and ordered some drinks and the moment the waitress left he looked me square in the face and said ‘You are really beautiful, do you know that?’ It wasn’t in a cheesy he’s trying to impress me kind of way, it was very genuine.

After that, we just talked. For hours. We talked for so many hours that the only reason we stopped talking was because the bar was actually closing and they were kicking us out. It felt kind of like a scene from a movie, or a television show… where the characters go on this memorable first date and it’s as if the rest of the world stops around them. They lose track of time and before they know it the restaurant closes. It was exactly like that, actually.

Now, this next part, he and I have different recollections of what happened next. If you ask him, he’ll say that I invited him up to my apartment. If you ask me, I’ll tell you that he invited himself up to my apartment. Either way, he wound up in my apartment. ‘The plan’ was to watch Law & Order SVU. That was actually my plan.

And again, in a night filled with things I never do, probably ten minutes later I was naked.

I’ve never actually told anyone that. Not that I’m ashamed of it or anything of the sort. I just… there’s so many negative connotations surrounding women and dating and ‘being easy’ or ‘being slutty’ or ‘being whores’, I just kind of figured I’d be better off if I didn’t give anyone ammunition.

It was… without hesitation in my mind… the best first date that I’d ever been on. And, it wasn’t even really a date. We’d agreed that we were just meeting for a drink because I told him that I’d had enough horrible first dates already I didn’t want to add another to the list.

So, we made plans for one week later to have our actual first date. And, like another scene straight out of a movie or television show, he took me to the fair! Well, first he showed up with a giant bouquet of flowers at my door. Then we went to the fair.

I’ve always been a big fan of Ferris wheels. I love the view from the top, and I appreciate that, unlike with roller coasters, on a Ferris wheel the speed at which you come down is the same speed of which you climbed to the top at. So, much like you’d see in a cheesy movie or television show, we played some games, he won me a stuffed animal, we ate some over-indulgent fair food and then we headed for the Ferris wheel. It was all very… couldn’t write it better if I tried.

This Ferris wheel ended up not being my total cup of tea. See, being from the West Coast, I’m a big fan of the Ferris Wheel at the PNE (shout out to anyone who knows what the PNE is). I’m a big fan of Ferris wheels that are… more… permanent fixtures, and not necessarily the ones that are taken from town to town for two week periods at a time, built, taken down and rebuilt over and over. I wasn’t expecting this Ferris wheel to squeak so badly. It was also a very windy day and we were swaying pretty hard at the top. For something that I normally love to do, I wasn’t having a fun time on this Ferris wheel.

He held my hand, the whole time. He calmed me down when I was getting scared about us swaying in the wind. He made me feel better. He made me forget about the squeaking. He was just there, present, thoughtful and he made me feel safe.

That moment on the Ferris wheel, that was the moment when I stopped the ‘I’m totally okay on my own’ mentality. That was the moment when I thought ‘Dang, I really want this guy in my life’ and ‘I really need to make sure he sticks around’.

If you asked him, I’m pretty sure he’d say he felt that way when we met at the bar. He’s actually told me that before. He says that he was certain about me the night that we met.

It’s not that I was unsure about him the night we met at the bar, it was just that… it all seemed too good to be true. I needed to see him another time to make sure that I wasn’t looking at him through rose coloured glasses, if you know what I mean.

Well, the fair solidified that I wasn’t looking through rose coloured glasses. He was as good as he seemed to be. And, I was smitten.

The night of our first official date (the fair) we wound up back at my apartment. He kissed me goodnight like a gentleman and instead of letting him leave invited him in.

Since then he’s been the rock that has kept me grounded through everything life has thrown at me. He was by my side when I got fired, he’s sat in the chair next to my hospital bed through many, many nights. He helped me through my mother’s cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatments. He’s picked me up every time I’ve gotten knocked down from job rejection after job rejection after job rejection. He’s just been this… unwavering force of support and love behind me through everything.

He’s the type of man to work a 12 hour day to come home and offer to make me dinner. He talks me through my panic attacks and hasn’t once judged me for my anxiety. He’s the type of man who encourages my creativity, supports my dreams and desires and never says no to any silly plan that I might have… even if it means driving eight hours to spend some time wandering around a frozen lake in -32 degree Celsius (-25 Fahrenheit) weather.

We’re not perfect, and we’ve definitely had our fair share of issues, but I think that’s what really allows you to understand who’s meant to truly be in your life. If you can get through anything together, that someone is obviously worth keeping around.

Honestly, I’m the type of person who believes in signs from the universe, I’ve mentioned that several times before on this blog. It may sound cheesy but he does, to me, feel like a gift from the universe. The missing puzzle piece that I wasn’t even aware I was without.

Thank you to https://heresalittletip.wordpress.com/ for motivating me to write this all out. I’ve told bits and pieces of this story before, but I don’t think I’ve ever told it in full to anyone. So, there’s that…

74 thoughts on “A Knight’s Tale”

  1. I love it! I met my husband online, too, and my misadventures in dating is what got me blogging years ago. I’m glad you met someone amazing; I know how crazy it is out there. 🙂

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    1. I used to Tweet about it – because I had Twitter long before I had this blog. There are some seriously weird people you cross paths with while testing the online dating world! That’s cool that’s how you met your Husband. People don’t think there are success stories – but I bet you more people marry who met online dating than who met on the Bachelor.

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  4. Sounds like you met a wonderful man! I’m also happy to read that you met via online dating. I am currently trying my hand at online dating, and reading your post gives me hope that I’ll find someone out there. Whether or not it’s through the Internet or in real life, and after many subpar/bad dates, I remain optimistic about it all. Wishing you and your Knight prosperity in the next years to come!

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    1. Hold onto hope! I got probably 400 messages on that site before I found Knight. So, you’ll cross paths with a lot of people not worth the time of day – don’t let them deter you. It is possible to find someone amazing!

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  6. oh my god, you just did it! there’s your memoir. nice, V! This is timely for me. I am trying online dating and having serious anxieties and reservations about it. this brings some comfort, maybe i’ll find someone. ha, i had no idea i would suggest an honest memoir and the one you post makes *me* personally feel better on a shitty day. blogging community is amazing sometimes 💟

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    1. That’s not my memoir. Just a small piece to the story! That being said, Online dating can cause serious anxieties. Don’t let those anxieties stop you. Putting yourself out there, if for no other reason, is good for self confidence!You never know, you might find someone amazing for you!

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      1. Btw, when I said “memoir”, I simply meant revealing a piece of yourself we (your audience) had not seen. Such as…. taking the hero up to the apartment – accepting him against all odds – and like every good heroine – being brave and going with the moment. Despite anxiety and shit.
        Just as you did.
        I did not mean like a full-blown life-story “all the way through from childhood” kind of memoir. I meant a snapshot. You delivered.
        I have no idea if you had this post planned anyway, or if you struck inspiration after our chat, but either way I am impressed as hell. I mean. I was like “do this” in a comment – and ten minutes later queen V delivers. You’re something else.
        Everyone just saw something you never said before. Some real vulnerability. And that’s exactly what I was fishing for. It’s the territory of good writing. I thank you for being brave.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Actually, one of the comments on the post where I asked people what they might like to read was a request for me to share how I met Knight. So, I texted him just to make sure that he was okay with me telling the story (it was more like warning him it was going to happen) and then I told the story. So not really planned, just a happy accident that it came at a time when you were considering future prospective dating.

        I say put yourself out there girl. The payoff is worth it!

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  9. I do believe in live at first sight because that is how I met my partner. I wasn’t looking for stats or looks. All I can say to describe it is what you said, I just knew. 20 years later and we’re still going strong.

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  10. Love it! It’s how I met my partner too and neither of us wanted to let go after our first meeting. He moved in three months later and — not without our (well mine really) issues — 11 great years down the line we’re still together.

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    1. This is such a lovely story! Thank you for sharing.
      There’s such a stigma about online dating and really, it’s not all awful. There are some weird people sure. But, every now and again, you find someone pretty wonderful!

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  11. What a beautiful story! I’m glad you found a great guy who treats you well. And I applaud you for wading through the knuckleheads and taking a chance on someone who didn’t appear to be. Believe me that seems to be rare. I spent 4+ years on various online sites before finally calling it quits a couple months ago. They robbed me of my self-confidence and self-esteem. Everyone I contacted received a respectful message — no “Hey baby” or comments on body parts or other sexual talk — but nearly every one refused to even reply. I finally realized I’m just wasting my life chasing what I’ll never have. But I love seeing and hearing great success stories like yours, proof that not all of them turn out bad.

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    1. I’m a firm believer that there’s someone out there for everyone. Unless someone is Asexual, in which case that’s totally cool. But I’ve read your blog and don’t think you’re asexual.

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  14. What a beautiful story of your life dear V. My heart melted right away. I’m sure, it wasn’t a coincidence that you met your knight via online dating. You both were meant to be.

    I was smiling at this part as I and my wife also experienced the same on our first date (after we were writing to each other through online dating site). The only difference was that we were in a restaurant.

    “We talked for so many hours that the only reason we stopped talking was because the bar was actually closing and they were kicking us out. It felt kind of like a scene from a movie, or a television show… where the characters go on this memorable first date and it’s as if the rest of the world stops around them. They lose track of time and before they know it the restaurant closes. It was exactly like that, actually. ”

    Thanks for sharing. You both truly love each other…He’s your Knight & you are his Dame…the Universe.

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  16. That was so lovely to read and it makes me so happy to see that there are still men out there who know how to treat a woman. Especially an amazing woman like you. This post made my heart warm and happy 🙂

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  21. I agree with your “signs from the Universe belief” V. I was in a 12 yr marriage and when I met my current partner now, everything felt different. I have never really allowed any man to get close enough to me to really affect my heart. I didn’t care that much. Honestly, I knew my ex-husband loved me more than I loved him, I felt I could “fix” him. The “Savior ” complex relationship. That doesn’t work.
    My current partner is my best friend and I genuinely love our companionship first and foremost. He gets under my skin, I have never felt the gamete of emotions that he can easily draw out of me. It’s interesting how that happened to me at 34 and I met my ex at 22.
    This piece has given me some food for thought about where I am currently in my life and relationship. Thanks V, great post 😊

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    1. Awe, that sounds so lovely. It sounds like maybe your ex led you to the place where you’re at now so even he, in all his shitteousness, played a role. He made sure you knew what you didn’t want so you were able to find your own happiness.

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      1. I agree with you V, it’s exactly what happened. I was able to welcome in a new opportunity into my life bc they old one was played out. It’s the struggles in life where we can learn and grow from. I have learned so much and grown a lot over the past 10 yrs. Nothing that comes easy is ever gratifying and the stuff we have to work through and accept are what makes life worth living. Great post😊

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Thank you for sharing 😉 What a fun story! Jase and I met on a dating app and had a very similar first date. When you “know”, you “know”. There’s nothing like being in a conscious relationship where growth happens for both individuals. It truly is something to behold.

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  27. I love ‘how we met’ stories and yours is super cool and sweet. I also met my husband about a month after swearing off dating and men altogether – so ironic.
    I especially love that your guy is there for you through your ups AND downs, including the anxiety. I know how important and rare this is, and when I realized my husband had these same qualities, I knew I was going to marry him.
    Many happy years to you both!

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  28. I met my better half online back when it was incredibly rare to do so – before all the apps and dating sites appeared. It’s wonderful to know that people can still find each other in a similar way – and you tell your story so well too 🙂

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