5:56 PM

~ V

I’m tired. I’m anxious. I’m scared and I feel like I’m getting sick. None of those things are related and all of those things are weighing on me.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know where to turn.

I just don’t know. I have so many questions and absolutely zero answers.

Published by V

Overly sentimental, heel-loathing introvert, problem solver and lover of the night.

55 thoughts on “5:56 PM”

  2. Don’t try to answer them all at once. You won’t be able to, and that will make it worse. Go to sleep, or do something for your anxiety or whatever the one thing you can do now is. Get that sorted, and then deal with the next one.

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    1. Unfortunately, it’s 1 am and I’m still awake and worrying.
      I think it’s just a present state of being that I need to adjust to. It’s taking some adjustments. It’s never been like this before.

      Liked by 1 person

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    1. Thank You. I’ve been listening to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers – Learning to Fly for about four hours now… possibly more. It calms me. It’s not exactly a dancing song, but I took your advice and put some music on to try and occupy my thoughts.

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      2. The crazy guy has a job! And, not just a job, but a job that doesn’t allow him to have his phone with him. There are only limited hours in the day which I can actually talk to him!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Ahhh! Yeah of course :D. Then yeah, you’re right, you’d have nobody without wordpress!

        I do find, when I write, and get a bunch of negative stuff out, my brain starts to turn to more creative, fun things, and I can start to make myself laugh. I’ve written something VERY funny within the last few hours…xD

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  13. Big hugs V x where I’m lost the first place I start is my journal, sitting in nature, making sure all my needs are met, and then talking to my best friend.

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      1. I get it! The last month has been a bit of a shit month. Finances were tight and I had $3 to my name for two weeks! The stress and sad hit pretty hard! I hope you are feeling a little bit better and can take some time to reset and self-care πŸ’•

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Hugs my friend. I find as some others have said that writing everything down helps. The physical act of writing activates different parts of the brain to work on solutions versus just having a rotating band of thoughts swirling around in the abyss of our minds. Hope things are getting better ❀

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    1. I don’t know if they’re getting better, but I’m still holding on for dear life. I guess we’ll see what happens in the next few days..

      Thank you for your kind comment ❀

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  17. Racing thoughts are the worst. I felt like this yesterday (and today) after knowing I failed my midterms. To make matters worse, had I gone to the exam reviews I would have known 90% of the answers. I tried a different method of studying which was a complete bust. Racing thoughts, a TON of anxiety, and sleepless nights. Head hurts. Wish these feelings would go away. Might need to blog again since it’s the only thing that makes sense in this confusing world. But there’s no time.

    I agree with @stumblingfaith. Blogging or writing or the act of journaling helps to clear the mind. Thinking and ruminating over something uses a different part of the brain.

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    1. Oohhhhhh, you failed? You have grades back or you just think you might have failed? I’m sorry school’s been so rough this semester. I wish I could take you to Starbucks and give you a break!

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      1. That’s not possible because your future is dependent as much on things outside of your control as it is on the things that are within your control. Accepting this grants you a level of serenity because you stop trying to change what’s outwith your power, and start to feel what’s really in your power. Similarly, you’ll never understand others and we waste a lot of time trying to. But if you divert that time and energy to understanding yourself, that’s a beautiful journey that has no end because you keep growing and finding new stuff out about yourself. So forget where you’re headed. Where are you now?

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  22. It’s nice reading something like this, and realizing that, throughout life, we all experience struggles. It’s nice realizing that no one is alone in those struggles. I guess that’s why human lives are intertwined, so we can support one another. Thank you for your posts, this is a great blog.

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  23. Something you might want to consider trying is true meditation. There is this idea that meditation is forcing oneself to quiet their thoughts or it is concentrating on one key mantra. What it really is, is exercising your ability to observe your thoughts and feelings and let them go, recognize the unaddressed subconscious stressors and realize they are not who you are. I noticed you said you are anxious and you are scared. Another way to consider it is to say you are feeling anxiety or fear, but they are not who you are. It’s not about forcing ruminations away with happy thoughts either as if you try to cling to those they grow stale too, however, I recommend watching some comedy and laughing, that and exercise and hydrate. These are also things you are able to exercise self authority over whereas worrying about uncertainties steals your energy and distracts you. Hopefully this helps! These types of realizations take a long time and bravery to accept and utilize.

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