EDIT: Please do not reblog/repost this. It was hard enough for me to share to start with, I really don’t want to see it on someone else’s blog. I’ve gotten a few emails stating people are reblogging this. If you did, I would kindly ask that you please delete the post.
On March 3rd at 7:13 pm we received a call from the Coroners office to provide notification that someone very near and dear to my heart was no longer with us.
I was at the grocery store when I heard the news. I don’t remember exactly what happened or how long I was sobbing on the floor next to the ginger ale, but I do remember one of the men who works there walking up to me and asking what was wrong and if he could call someone for me.
I pulled myself together, walked out of the store and made the world’s longest eight minute drive to go and pick up my mother and tell her the news.
My brother and his family will be return from Denmark soon. The rest of my siblings, nieces and nephews are already here. In the days following we’ve been notifying everyone, connecting with the coroner to sign for the remains, arranging for transportation of the remains and planning a memorial service.
Should memorial service be capitalized due to the nature of the event? Is that even a coherent though? I’m not sure at this point.
I had no idea there would be so many people to notify, that we would have to have the same horrifying conversation over and over. Aunts, uncles, cousins, employers, friends, foes… all different variations of the same conversation.
‘What happened?’ I don’t know.
‘When did it happen?’ I don’t know.
‘How are you doing?’ I don’t know.
‘I am so, so sorry.’ Me too.
If I’ve learned anything from the past couple of days, it’s this: check in on people. Call them, text them, email them, go and see them if you can. Hug them. Tell them they matter. Life is very fragile. You really don’t ever get a warning from the universe about the last time you heard someone’s voice being the last time that you’ll ever hear their voice.
My family and I are taking it day by day. Right now, there’s a memorial service to plan, a will to be found and last wishes to be fulfilled.
Thank you to the couple of people who’ve checked on me. People saying ‘Hey, it’s not like you to not post for a couple of days’, it really means a lot that you’ve noticed.