Check in on people.

EDIT: Please do not reblog/repost this. It was hard enough for me to share to start with, I really don’t want to see it on someone else’s blog. I’ve gotten a few emails stating people are reblogging this. If you did, I would kindly ask that you please delete the post.

On March 3rd at 7:13 pm we received a call from the Coroners office to provide notification that someone very near and dear to my heart was no longer with us.

I was at the grocery store when I heard the news. I don’t remember exactly what happened or how long I was sobbing on the floor next to the ginger ale, but I do remember one of the men who works there walking up to me and asking what was wrong and if he could call someone for me.

I pulled myself together, walked out of the store and made the world’s longest eight minute drive to go and pick up my mother and tell her the news.

My brother and his family will be return from Denmark soon. The rest of my siblings, nieces and nephews are already here. In the days following we’ve been notifying everyone, connecting with the coroner to sign for the remains, arranging for transportation of the remains and planning a memorial service.

Should memorial service be capitalized due to the nature of the event? Is that even a coherent though? I’m not sure at this point.

I had no idea there would be so many people to notify, that we would have to have the same horrifying conversation over and over. Aunts, uncles, cousins, employers, friends, foes… all different variations of the same conversation.

‘What happened?’ I don’t know.

‘When did it happen?’ I don’t know.

‘How are you doing?’ I don’t know.

‘I am so, so sorry.’ Me too.

If I’ve learned anything from the past couple of days, it’s this: check in on people. Call them, text them, email them, go and see them if you can. Hug them. Tell them they matter. Life is very fragile. You really don’t ever get a warning from the universe about the last time you heard someone’s voice being the last time that you’ll ever hear their voice.

My family and I are taking it day by day. Right now, there’s a memorial service to plan, a will to be found and last wishes to be fulfilled.

Thank you to the couple of people who’ve checked on me. People saying ‘Hey, it’s not like you to not post for a couple of days’, it really means a lot that you’ve noticed.

123 thoughts on “Check in on people.

  1. Wow. Just when I was thinking it’s been a long time I got notified of your posts and was hoping to come binge.
    Discovering your blog has been one of the best things for me so far, this year.
    I’m sorry about your loss, accept my condolences.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry that you cannot binge, I do thank you for the kind compliment though. I’ll be back eventually… just don’t really feel like writing right now. Spending lots of time with my family. ❤ Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh no! You don’t have to be sorry, I truly understand you need the time off and will still be here by the time you’re back. Take your time and be with your family ❤️
        I lost my little nephew 2 days ago and wish I can atleast be close to my sister-in-law at this time but I’m far away from home as it is. I just chose to trust God it gets better…
        Spend as much time with family as you can… We’ll wait.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey V, want you to know I’m thinking of you and hope you are doing well. I’ve been in a Ketamine la la land this week, but am sending you positive energy. Wasn’t sure where to check in on you, I figured this was the best place. 🙂 Miss seeing your posts.


  3. I have been, more or less, where you are more times than I would wish on anyone. I boggles my mind at times that western culture has been losing people for so very long and has never found a better thing to say to mourners than, I’m sorry. But we haven’t. I grieve for you and yours in your pain and your struggle to handle the mundanities that are so small in the face of your feelings. I thank the gods that you have each other. And I grieve for your loved one, though we never had the chance to meet. The loss of anyone diminishes us all. May pleasant memories of your loved one come to mind, and act as a small talisman of joy in this trying time.


  4. Just catching up on posts and have only just seen this. I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and lots of love to you and your family xxx


  5. A good friend of mine was shot and killed not too long. I seen him 3 days prior. Before he left my garage I had this feeling, an urge to say something else, but was too hesitant.. I carried on. And he says ” aiight pimpin see ina couple hrs ” ” yeah no doubt let me know when your outside.” Didn’t see him again till I heard he was shot and killed 3 days later.. a simple “hey man please be safe out here we live in hectic times..” probably all he needed since his subconscious mind wasnt present mayb he wouldve sensed those bad vibes seconds before they pulled a gun on him..
    💯check on your people and cherish every moment
    Sending positive vibes


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