I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah.
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now.
But the airwaves are clean and there’s nobody singing to me now.
No change, I can’t change, I can’t change, I can’t change,
But I’m here in my mold, I am here in my mold.
And I’m a million different people from one day to the next
I can’t change my mold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Cause it’s a bittersweet symphony this life.
Trying to make ends meet, trying to find some money then you die.

Bittersweet Symphony, The Verve

The love of my life has decided that he no longer wishes to be a part of my life. I’m not really sure what to say about the matter. I love him and this sucks. But, you can’t force someone to want to be with you. Part of me thought he’d come back around. But, as the time passes, I realize that’s not likely. It looks like I’m going to be doing this on my own.

49 thoughts on “Title-less.

  1. I’m sorry to hear about this. I had a breakup last year and I’m still just now getting over it. It’s terrible to think you are in it in the long haul and it ends. Wishing you well and that you spend time with self care and your blog to feel better.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Time.. it’ll be hard at first constantly and there will be moments you’re fine, then it’ll have ups and downs to feeling you’re ready to move on.
    Here: a song you’ll be moderately okay with.. I have a TON of break up songs.
    You’ll be better than fine.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. We find people we admire maybe because we don’t see those strengths in ourselves. Well. Now’s your chance. Let your heart break then you can’t ache for love that’s not there. That fixation, drives people mad.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Argh, that’s what I was fearing, sorry. That really does suck, you have a lot hitting you all at once. I’m feeling your pain because I could see how much was invested in it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh V, reading this I can feel the sting. Allow yourself the sadness and reflection. We tend to want to gloss over or avoid the pain altogether which only makes it worse in the long run. I’m sorry this has happened but it only means that there is another out there somewhere and I trust you will find each other when the time is right. Endings of love are bittersweet. Thinking of you my dear and sending you peaceful vibes❤❤❤


  6. Sorry to hear. Break ups suck. Going through the motions sucks even more. Once it passes you will be stronger. I know it might seem impossible now, but time does heal everything.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m sorry for your pain. You are absolutely not doing this alone. Do you have some friends you can reach out to? Some family? You’ve got your readers. I don’t even know you but if you want to email me and vent or talk I will listen. You are NOT alone. Ever. And just a reminder, as much as it sucks, this pain will be different in a month. And more different in 6 months. And in a year it might even be a twitch haha. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Had the love of my life not broken up with me after four years, I wouldn’t be married to the actual love of my life and have my two children. Shit works out. The bitch of it is you need a long lens to see it.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. “But, you can’t force someone to want to be with you.” You’re right. You can sometimes force them to pretend, but that would end up worse. You can do it on your own. But really, as long as you have friends, you’re not really alone.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Reblogged this on Notes and commented:
    I am surprised that you still call him “The love of my life” when he clearly walked over you. I have had similar people walk out and I may have misunderstood them as “love of my life” but today I call them nothing more than just “people”. These people are actually far less important than the strangers out there since I’d never want to meet or see these people in my past again. They are dead to me, so am I to them. Nothing complicated or confusing about it I suppose.


    1. Let’s give her a break. This relationship was an important one to her. Someone can leave you and you don’t have to make them “dead to you”. Sure some of them are but others? In time many of us are actually grateful day exited our lives because it ultimately didn’t have anything to do with our personal feelings and more about what they knew they needed. I am grateful for the past relationships that have taught me so much, and while you seem to simplify the end of a relationship as black or white, others see the complexities and the evolution of perspectives that can take time. I may not have any interest in spending time with my ex-husband anymore but that doesn’t mean he is dead to me because he was an important part of my life for almost two decades.

      Be gentle with her and with yourself. We all deserve that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Without knowing a story, I can also become a “Buddha” like you while throwing totally useless and unrelated wisdom on internet comments. After a break-up, what other “break” does anyone need that you are professing here? You don’t know her, nor do you know me, how can you claim having achieved this “nirvana” to shed your dark light? You might also belong to people who instead of going to college or university, actually learn from “people” in the bed (or in the night clubs’ restrooms) while making all those lofty empty promises to be together eternally. I can also start calling a clearly dark and a black color as “gray” like you see without glasses (some do need glasses, trust me). If your ex-husband carries an important part in your life, from this comment I can tell why is that poor chap “ex”.

        And since none of my advice would do any good to you, hence I’d keep you from forking it for free. It was like a conversation with a zombie… LOL


  11. Ouch. I remember this same pain when my ex-fiance decided he’d rather marry someone else. That was quite some time ago, but it almost destroyed me. ((HUG))


  12. When I got divorced, my massage therapist said “congratulations” and my chin dropped…everyone else was saying they were sorry. She explained to me that the relationship was not a failure, but that it was actually a success because you did the best you could for as long as you did.

    I have been blessed to say I have had several loves of my life in my 46 years. Take this time to feel all the feels, rational or irrational, throw yourself into your cool new job, and just remember to breathe. You had a great love, and that is something to be grateful for even when you feel like crawling under the covers.



  13. Vee, I just saw this and I am so sorry. Been there and I know how tough it is and that there isn’t really anything ppl can say. But I wanted to show my support regardless.


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