Hey, it’s Tuesday

Have I made it back to the doctor yet? No.

But, I’m not beating myself up for that fact. I will get there. In the mean time I have taken steps to help minimize my stressors/triggers. I spoke with my boss and am working-from-home for the remainder of the week. Thankfully, I am blessed to be working a company that both allows, and makes it possible, for employees to work from home.

Being around people was making me anxious. My boss was very understanding. When I really stopped to think about it, 100% of my productivity working from home beats 50% of my productivity working from the office because I cannot function because I am so anxious about everyone around.

It’s not a permanent solution. But, for now, I’m taking things day-by-day.

I also took the advice of multiple people who sent me notes both here and on Instagram and I tried meditation last night. While I cannot say that it did anything for me last night, it was my first time ever trying meditation on my own, so I am going to give it more attempts.

I also have not watched the news in two days. I am hoping that helps me not get so stressed about the events of the world. While I do believe it’s important to be informed, it just feels as though the constant influx of ‘holy shitballs’ stories night after night has definitely been getting to me.

Tonight I’m working on another site. I’m also trying to build a store that’s not really a store (it needs to look, appear and feel like an online store without actually using a platform such as shopify as I don’t need the payment platform). I’m considering making some new #MillennialLifeCrisis shirts for my birthday, and I probably should eat dinner and sleep somewhere in there.

What’s everyone else up to these days? I’d love to hear some good news, if there is any out there to be heard. If you’re Canadian, how are you safely taking part in the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday?

54 thoughts on “Hey, it’s Tuesday”

    1. As much as I hope the same, something tells me until there’s a vaccine for this virus, I’m likely going to carry some amount of anxiety any time I walk out my front door. It’s just something I’ll have to get used to.

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  2. Glad you found a temporary solution and that you have a good boss.
    I never was any good at meditation…my mind refuses to switch off, but if you can do it, I know it helps a lot of people. And not listening to the news….for sure that is right. It stresses me out so much but I get drawn to it compulsively because of what’s going on here in the untied states, so know. Anything you really need to know, you will find out soon enough. Now all I need to do is apply the principle. Stay well.

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      1. Yeah, I think it really just takes practice, which a lot of people don’t realize. I know I didn’t. I always thought I just… couldn’t slow down long enough.

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      2. Practise daily. But even after a many years I get off days and that is normal, not great but normal. Actually it is s ‘tell’, that I have not been positive and elevated in my think in the day. Which is a good indicator of what I need to pay attention too.

        Meditation commentaries are really helpful as they guide the meditation. And good when starting out.

        I am happy to share daily on my blog if you want for a while to help you.

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    2. I think I have the same issue as you. I have a hard time falling asleep at night because my mind just races…

      That’s why I’m attempting meditation before sleep. I’m hoping that it calms me.

      I figure with the way word spreads, you’re absolutely right. Anything I need to know, I’ll learn soon enough.

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  3. The first time a good while back that I saw the style of how you’re blogging, I took an appreciation. I know that anxiety is a difficult challenge to be experiencing when there is a worldwide health crisis. I haven’t read your blog all that many times, but when I do take a look at what you’re blogging, I enjoy it.

    I am putting some renewed energy into WordPress this month. While Thanksgiving is soon here, pressure from the province’s top guy gives me an excuse to stay away from when my parents assemble with my brother, and his wife and kids, for turkey. We have such different lifestyles, all of us, although I speak with my brother as often as once a week, each Sunday.

    I hope that you persist in doing your best to cope in trying circumstances. Good luck!

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. Thanksgiving can bring difficult times for a lot of families, not everyone is as close as people assume. Thankfully, with the pandemic, you have a reason to just not go, am I right? I, like you will be spending thanksgiving alone. Perhaps we can have some sort of a virtual cheers.

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  5. Hi V, I am happy to hear you can work from home , and you have tried to meditate. I have shared meditation commentaries on my blog, do feel free to use. Just type meditation commentary in the search on my blog. Also I have posts on meditation benefits, creating a nook etc.

    Switching off from the news really helps.

    Yesterday was a good day then became a pain when there was no parking on our street, because selfish neighbours park more than one care. I asked 3 before one moved. My mum believes one lied to us and she is a oap ( older person with a big family). Mum got upset and so did I. But then I said to mum, I dont spend another single moment thinking of them and their selfishness. Because everyday her family take parking and always have. I said to mum let’s remain peaceful and enjoy each second and stay in a higher consciousness. we then meditated and it was great. Which I am happy for. Meaning I was able to calm down.

    Meditation improves over time and practice. It is about recharging and redirecting our thoughts. Meditation isnt about emptying our minds. I meditate daily at least twice to 3 times a day. The other thing important is to feed your mind positive thoughts daily.

    Do you have a new blog?

    Wish you every happiness

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    1. It really sounds like you’ve mastered the art of a positive mindset, which is something I really need to work on. I did so poorly with meditation last night. I’m going to try again tonight before I go to bed. In a world where we have to deal with people whom don’t always think of others, being able to reframe my mind into a positive way would be beneficial. Because you’re right, you cannot predict where people are going to park, or anything people are going to do.
      Thank you for reminding me it’s important to put my own frame of mind into perspective.

      Also, no, I don’t have a new blog. Someone is paying me to rework/upgrade their site, SEO Proof it to help them with their business.

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      1. Oh that is excellent that you got a side hustle. Yeah.

        Oh I wish I was mastering my life. I am a work in progress and I am going to keep at it.

        Keep at meditation and positivity thinking. Just reframe. Stay disconnected but connected in life. It really helps.

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      4. Cool :). See for me, the way meditation works is that— if through practice you can get to doing nothing but meditating, staying calm for a whole hour for example— that’s like the definition of a calm mind. Resisting the temptation to feel boredom! To start to worry etc. But not through actively resisting anxious thoughts, but by maintaining a focus on something else that is neutral.

        So it’s in that way, that it’s kind of training your mind to be more at ease and happy with simplicity, training your mind not to judge things so much. If you can refrain from judging sitting still for 1 hour to be boring, well… that calmness ends up permeating your whole day. You can see it as like a game to play with yourself— betting yourself to sit still doing nothing for 10 mins, because that’s totally against your instincts, haha. You end up ENjoying it, eventually.

        In my opinion there aren’t enough explanations out there of how meditation works— most articles about it don’t go into it. I reckon those kind of explanations are in books, though. But it comes across as being this mysterious, snobbish in-group thing. But there are intuitive and biological ways to understand it. For me that was important.

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      5. Oh and everything I just said— is something you can practice whilst going about your day— resisting temptation to react. Then it’s just mindfulness. But it’s easier to begin that ball rolling with meditation. Regaining control over your mind! It’s pretty profound actually.

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    2. One comment on meditation… It’s helpful not to judge our performance as either good or bad. Whatever happens during the time you’re sitting, that’s what’s meant to happen. Your mind WILL wander off, and that’s totally fine, in fact it’s a big part of the practice.

      Just the fact you do it *at all* is fantastic. Well done!

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  7. Glad to hear you’ve taken measures for anxiety’s sake; even if it’s temporary, it’s a lot better than not having it at all. I’d love to work from home, although my company only allows veterans (and not new hires) to do so…definitely continue to stay away from the news, V: there’s nothing good out there, anyway! Take care of yourself. 🙂

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    1. Hopefully your work is an environment that allows you to stay relatively far away from one another during the day. It can be so tough having to go to work on days like these. People who work at grocery stores and restaurants and Starbucks and whatnot, I really don’t know how they do it. If your work involves people in close spaces, I really commend you.

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  8. Good idea to ditch news. It really affects the mind.. even if you watch during the day. It definitely drove me back to the dark zone a couple of months ago and I ended up with the “relaxants”. Have completely stopped watching. Avoid. All the best. Xo

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  9. “When I really stopped to think about it, 100% of my productivity working from home beats 50% of my productivity working from the office”
    Exactly why I moved to freelance when I was a software developer :). For me the stress was from the heat/humidity/smells. My eyes would burn and water and I couldn’t take full breaths! Unfortunately permanent isolation also makes you go crazy :(.
    I’ve also just cancelled the news watching, I’ve blocked the website using restrictions. I fully recommend sticking with the meditation and seeing how it goes. I had massive benefits from doing it before. It’s great because you are practising pure present-ness whilst staying calm. Helps a lot of issues. It gets better over time because relaxation and focus are actually skills. You can forget and relearn how to relax, and improve it.

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    1. Relaxing is something I’ve never really been good at. I’m hoping to change that. But, then again, I’ve been hoping to change that for 15-20 years now, so we’ll see.

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  12. Yay for understanding workplaces!

    Limiting news really helps me. I try hardly ever look at traditional news. Instead, I keep up to date mostly via satire/comedy shows… triple win: makes me laugh (and feel good), keeps me informed, avoids the horrible dread/depressive feeling of normal news.

    I hope you do find meditation useful. I can recommend the Headspace app, and also the Waking Up app by Sam Harris. I’m terrible at meditating on a regular basis myself even though I know it would be good for me. But that could be about to change… see my latest post if you’re curious.

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    1. Satire/comedy shows can still provide solid updates on the world. For instance, I find that Trevor Noah is pretty spot on with how he portrays the world. (I’m sure someone could say he’s incredibly biased, but he still presents the facts)

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  13. Having an understanding boss is EVERYTHING! I miss those days….
    Anyway, not watching the news also helps. When the Orange Lord won the election here in the good ol’ US of A, I never thought to stray from my routine of watching 10-15 minutes of news in the morning before I went to work. But then I realized that I was soooooo anxious/depressed/angry before I even left the house. So I stopped.
    Obviously I still need to be informed, but I do take my news in very small bites. I have a rule — if I feel myself getting angry/anxious reading or watching news, I turn it off (or donate to a charity who combats the shitstorm lol). Same rule applies for social media — once I see 3 things that piss me off I log out. Not worth my energy. Trying to find the good fight elsewhere. Good luck to you.

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    1. Finding the news in small bites is such good advice. Because you’re right, it is important to be informed. It is also important to look after your own peace of mind.

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  14. This is a positive step forward V, good gor you. Mindfulness has helped me make a huge difference in my own thought patterns and functionality. I am diagnosed with CPTSD and I must say all of the holistic treatments I seek and practice have been so impactful for my healing. I sent you a message on Instagram about it. Healing can and does happen. You’re in my thoughts and prayers my dear.

    In the meantime, I’m getting my own healing and writing venture off the ground while helping my mentor restructure hers. I’m living proof that this type of healing is a big game changer 😊

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  15. I’m learning to detach from the news, even if I can’t avoid it. It’s more like a car crash on the side of the road. I act like it doesn’t effect me as I drive-by, no matter how gory it is. I’ve tried meditating for 20 years. If you ever figure out how, let me know.

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    1. Weirdly enough, I can’t say that I’ve ever been inclined to stare at a car crash. The news, though.. it feels like it’s a missing limb. Which makes zero sense.

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