Feelings and whatnot

~ V

I don’t think that I’ve ever felt lower of myself then I have in the past couple of months.

It really doesn’t matter how much of a pep talk I try to give myself. It really doesn’t matter how many times I try to tell myself that I need to not be so hard on myself. I see myself in the mirror and I feel depressed.

I’m pretty certain that almost everyone deals with self confidence issues from time to time and that what I feel is not unique to me. That being said, that doesn’t make it suck less. My confidence is at what feel like an all time low.

Published by V

Overly sentimental, heel-loathing introvert, problem solver and lover of the night.

109 thoughts on “Feelings and whatnot”

  1. I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. As much as everyone says “it’ll get better” and “cheer up” in times like this you just want to sleep and get by. I’m here with you and hope you feel a little more confident each day that pases.

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      1. That’s extremely specific while also as vague as it can be… lol

        I’m having similar issues but probably slightly different in a different way…
        9/10 times my stress is self created only in my head just to cause stress..

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      2. I’m sorry you’re dealing with something similar.
        While I know some of it is in my own head, I know that there’s stuff right now that I really can’t control (stuff not even related to the shit show that is covid) and that annoys me. I just sit here and strew over it, thanks to covid. You know what I mean?

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      3. Yeah.. for me (now).. on one hand things are going better than great but other stuff is the same old crap. Same old crap; the good stuff feels like it’s sort of a mirage to get hopes up to crashing down. So I’m not enjoying the good things because I’ve been to and have seen that shit show before.

        Humorously.. technically my car is paid off (I’m holding off paying it off fully because of covid; I’m not hanging out for hours at the DMV to title transfer) and I hit a deer last Friday. The last time I paid a car off I hit a deer and it pretty much ruined it. This time, the deer didn’t even damage the car and the deer was fine. After a week I’m all “life’s probably telling me that things are different and to chill out: enjoy life”.
        Again, same spot, another deer runs in front of my car and passes easily today after saying Friday “things are different.” Are they? Yeah, but I’m still all emo and shit expecting things to go wrong.

        I’m different than you in that I’d still kick back not getting control even if covid wasn’t around. It’s more about why I’m like that more so than the actual thing going on.

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  4. I understand and it certainly does suck, but I am also quite certain that you have no reason to feel this way. It’s all the shit that is happening and the totally crap year you have had (yes, you had your share of crap too, just because a lot of people had it worse doesn’t invalidate your stuff). When I was at a very low point I read Eckhardt Tolle. Are you familiar? I don’t usually make suggestions, but I found what he said helpful. He was born in post WW2 Europe and was suicidal as a very young man, so he does understand about depression. I don’t care for people who talk like experts about matters they know nothing of. Please feel better. XX

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    1. I’ve never read Eckhardt Tolle. Maybe I can get it on Kindle or something during the Christmas break when I’m at home alone with nothing to do. That would make it a productive few days off. I could use someone with insights right about now. I’ll definitely consider it.

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  5. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, friend. Here for support! I always find that taking a walk or some light exercise might make you feel better. Ooo! Or treat yourself with a bubble bath and light some candles and play some music you love.

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  8. It’s definitely a part of life we all go through my dear. I too am experiencing a rather painful dark night of the soul period. Just know that the time spent in darkness is preparing us for something new and better to bloom. Love ya😘

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  11. As they say, “This to shall pass”. We all have our moments. I had mine a several weeks OK and I threw myself quite a pity party. Hang in there it will get better. And know that you are positively impacting lives with your blog.

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    1. Thank you. How did you know that your feelings like this passed? Was it a gradual transition, or was it a hallelujah moment? Like ‘I’m going to be okay after all’?

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      1. I spoke candidly with a friend and laid out all that I feeling . I was encouraged and refreshed by my friend who helped me put things into perspective. I felt better shortly after.

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  15. Its the pandemic. You’re certainly not alone – this year has been rough for so many people for so many reasons. On top of this, you’ve made major.changes.to.your.life. And you’re dealing with things that will wear you down no matter how many times you try to plaster a smile on your face while pretending everything is status quo. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Sometimes getting out of bed is the most we can accomplish in a day. And you know what? That’s certainly something to celebrate. 💕

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  22. I wish there were a right combination of words, but there really isn’t. It’s funny how for some people, in the right place at the right time, the right words manage to help. But I’ve been in that place where even being told that I’m awesome and I’m valued will do nothing to pull me out of what I’m really feeling about myself. I’ll just say you’re not alone and it’s okay to feel like this. It sucks… but it’s still okay.

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    1. Thank you.
      I appreciate this comment. So many people say that you cannot feel the way you’re feeling that if you do, you’re not grateful for what you have. I think it’s important to acknowledge that feelings are valid, and that having them doesn’t make you any less appreciative of what you have.

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  25. Hello. I hear you. I say feel your feelings and don’t suppress them so that you can heal faster. Know you’re not alone. Everyone is going through something so it’s important to practice self-compassion. In moments of feeling overwhelmed, for example, I resist the urge to go it alone and suffer in silence; I talk about my feelings. Like you’ve done here on your blog post, which is a great start. Keep writing and keep sharing. Support is here for you.

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    1. Thank you.
      I know that I’ve had some really great things happen lately. And I truly believe it’s good to celebrate the good things, and I am really appreciative for them. I also think it’s important to note that those good things don’t make life worry free. I wish they did, because if so I’d be rolling in goodness.

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      1. I hope I didn’t come across as having no compassion or empathy V, that’s not what I intended for you — ever. I think you just highlighted how “having it all” doesn’t make life worry free 🙂

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  31. I do not know to what extent depression is caused by external events. Or the extent that it can be controlled by behaviour. Generally that is. Specifically in my own case it is undoubtedly physiological for the most part. I was simply born with a set of shitty genes. There is nothing whatsoever anything wrong with any other aspect of my life. I am considering both psycedelics and MAOIs.

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    1. For the record, I am all for taking medication I know there are a lot of people who try to make people feel bad for taking them, but I do take medication for my anxiety and I’m an advocate for people doing so. I do believe, like you’ve said, that some people just get shitty genes and they get it a lot worse then anyone else. I am sorry for rambling. Discuss it with a doctor if you’re considering meds. They can help.

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  32. Pingback: Feelings and whatnot – Kreativ Solo

  33. I’m sorry your feeling like this. I had felt something similar, but it took some time and eventually it got better. I know it’s hard and feels like it won’t get better. It will take time. You cannot lose faith in yourself. Just know you can and you will in due time. Keep your chin up and know there are people here who care and will listen and will try to help in anyway they can.

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  35. Please don’t stop telling yourself that it’s okay. It’s hard but keep doing it everyday. And please believe that this too shall pass. This is what helps me the most. Sending brightness your way!

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  36. Hi V! ❤️ I’ve had my share of those days too and I simply honor my sacred space like you do …. Just to share with you, You’re my kind of Beautiful and Authentic. 💕💕

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  37. Pingback: Feelings and whatnot – SHOPPEX-NG

  39. You are not alone 😔 our world has been conditioned with this energy . Remember to practice self love , follow your intuition and check out the Great Conjunction, Astrology, neurology. Everyone deserves to be Loved

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  40. Hey there! I’ve found myself in a lot of those areas many times in my life as well. It’s weird how we can find others that experience similar things. Pep talks, encouraging quotes, etc never really helped me to be honest. One day I just woke up and decided to focus on myself and my goals and then it helped me get out of my rut. Make sure you are focusing on yourself. I wish the best for you! If you ever need to talk, I’m all ears!

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    1. I definitely haven’t been focusing on myself lately. With everything going on in this world, and everything going on with my family, it’s been hard to even think about myself and my goals. I have a feeling that you’re right though, we need to put ourselves first to make ourselves feel as though we’re worthwhile. I think this is something I’m going to make a New Year’s Resolution.

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  41. All the hugs hon. I’m completely down here with you. It sucks but you’re not alone. I hope each day is a teensy bit better.
    I have been listening to Jenny Lawson read her books on scribd and audible…it’s helping. Maybe it can help you a bit.

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    1. I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way too. It sucks. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you a stupid joke that could make you laugh. Thank you for the well wishes. I hope each day gets a little bit better for you as well. The new year is coming… and if nothing more, that date on the calendar changing will bring some solace, I think.

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      1. Thank you. I think it’ll help us to feel refreshed when the clock strikes midnight and we can wipe the slate for the next year. Least for a bit. Hopefully long enough to get our stamina back up and be able to roll a little easier through all the shit.

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  42. Ah, it’s a tough space, and I can relate … My lowest came in spring when coronavirus really hit the fan. Knowing what you should do, and being able to do it, are two totally different things. Sending positive vibes your way, maybe the planets coming together on the solstice will even out some emotions ….

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    1. That’s it! That’s the conundrum – you know what you should do but you just cannot bring yourself to do it. Thank you for this comment and for making me smile when I read it ❤

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  44. It happens ,things are gonna hurt as making us sad and making us get away from what we can achive but don’t let this things ruin what you can do ,you know yourself better ,keep going,keep fighting,it will get better 💛

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  45. Trust me I know how you feel in the past 3-4 I have felt like that. I found it easier to talk to someone for me it was a stranger – so I’d love to avail myself just to speak. And we can rant and rave. It does get better, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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    1. This is such a kind offer, thank you ❤
      I typically tend to write about these things on my blog so that I don't have to rant and rave to people about what I'm going through. It just feels like giving a burden. I think you are so generous for offering though. You clearly have a very big heart.

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  47. It is hard on some days the most important thing that any of us can do is to keep pushing forward. Sometimes we all stress over things that can be small to others but a big disappointment in our lives. I am sorry you are feeling like this I have been there and I have just started to get myself out of that hole. I have started to turn my life around and I know you will be able to get there too.

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      1. I have to work very hard not to obsess with a conversation and respond a hundred times on Facebook where no one gives a crap what their friends say or speak of personal things that interest me.

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      2. Thing is I do care about folks – storms, windfalls, the weather can be predicted and so can chaos, it can be mitigated if it’s for the higher good.

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