Blogmas Day 16

~ V

If you read my post two days ago (prior to my removing it), I did manage to get in contact with the person to which I was speaking of. Because I was able to get in contact with them, I decided to remove the post. Due to the nature of the post, I didn’t want it to stay there.

I fell of the Blogmas motivation train. I’m a few days behind. Rather than trying to catch up, I’m just labelling this post with the applicable day.

I’ve been sick for about a week now. I’ve also been dealing with extreme amounts of anxiety. Between the two, I haven’t been sleeping much and I definitely haven’t been enjoying life. I can’t tell you why I’m so anxious. Perhaps it’s the time of year. Perhaps it’s me being worried that I am sicker than I am. Perhaps there’s no reason at all. All I know is… dang it’s really hard to just exist some days. With this heightened anxiety that I’ve been feeling, it’s (and I didn’t come up with this analogy, I heard it from my doctor) the feeling of fear that you’re being chased by a bear whilst doing nothing more than watching television.

I did see my doctor yesterday to get some medication that’ll help me fight off this sickness. The last thing I need right now is to get worse, and since my body doesn’t seem to be fighting it off, I needed the extra hand that antibiotics could provide.

I’m planning to lay low until Christmas. Maybe even the New Year. I just want to recover and be healthy again. Perhaps if I am healthy again some of this anxiety will fade.

Winter solstice (the shortest day of the year) is in just a few short days. After that the days will begin getting longer again. I cannot begin to explain how in need i am of more daylight in a day.

Alrighty, time to get back to work.

Published by V

Overly sentimental, heel-loathing introvert, problem solver and lover of the night.

27 thoughts on “Blogmas Day 16”

  1. So glad you found your friend. I’m sure all that did not help your anxiety. Now you aren’t well, oh no. But you did see your doc, so hopefully that will clear up soon. It’s tough being sick when you are alone. I hope you will manage to get some rest if not sleep. Being tired always makes everything seem worse. Try to think of the good things that are happening..,,,vaccine is out and things will start to get better, Days start to get longer soon. Did you give up the meditation? I find it hard too but focusing on breathing in and out does help….even if it’s a little bit. Better days are coming.

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  3. There is something in the air for sure. I am very very anxious these days. You would think I would be happier than I currently am, but after going through so much, I am not that much happier or more content than I was before. I am miserable these days and things are even more stressful it seems.. I don’t know if its because Christmas is coming (and I am not excited about it this year) or because I feel the need to donate boxes of stuff to charity again. Clutter makes me anxious and the apartment is a disaster again, so that could be part of it.

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  5. I hope you feel better soon. My severe type anxiety came back too. We can be miserable together (though at least I am not sick). My thing where I can’t eat because of throat anxiety issues is back. Living on boost and smoothies and sleep challenges. I think the holidays are terrible for many people with anxiety. And it’s particularly bad holiday season because there is a baseline level of anxiety underneath everything about covid. People can’t get a break. I would seriously go get beer tonight if it wasn’t for the fact that alcohol is the worst thing ever for deep sleep and I def need to get my sleep catchup in. I send healing vibes and hope you can get some herbal tea in.

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    1. The rest has been extra hard since I’ve been sick and it’s interrupting my sleep. I’m hoping by the weekend the meds will have kicked in and I can sleep the entire weekend away! haha
      I do agree though, you’re absolutely right. Stress and anxiety don’t do anyone any favours. Sleep is good. Small victories are good.

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    1. I’m sensing that based on the comment responses here and the responses I’ve gotten from people I’ve told on the phone. I am sure some of it’s related to the pandemic but it’s weird that it seems so heavy right now in particular. Maybe we’re all holding our breaths hoping for this vaccine to work so life can calm down a little.

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  10. Thank goodness your friend is alright. As a collective, we are all in a cosmic soup of upgrades, downloads and major shifts happening. The Great Conjunction between Saturn and Jupiter on the solstice is ushering us into a new paradigm. The energy of late is shifting timeliness and perspectives so oh course that means we’re all feeling it in a myriad of ways. This particular configuration in the sky hasn’t happened since 1226, this will be a new age of Aquarius. As someone who usually has a ton of energy, I have been sleeping a lot more, not pushing myself as I normally would. Show yourself some grace, be gentle. Hot tea and a bath. Get under that weighted blanket. Extra TLC right now for you my dear V ❤

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    1. My weighted blanket has been all that’s getting me through these days. Thank you for your sweetness, as always. I feel like sleeping more, taking it easy and getting a lot of rest is probably great thing for you right now. With everything that has happened this year, and the past two months, you could use a break. You know what I mean?

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  15. Hope you are feeling better now and please do take all the rest that’s needed at this point. This year has been hard and tbh I get anxious sometimes too that I even sleep to escape reality but then I wake up right where I left off…😅 just rest and take medication and you’ll do great

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