Batteries Depleting

I’m tired.

I’m so tired.

I would love it if someone could/would make me dinner tonight. If they could come over with a bottle of wine, too… well that would just make my entire year. I’d just relax on the couch, put some music on and watch someone else do all of the work.

A girl can dream.

Oh and a massage. Yeah, I’m dreaming about a massage right now.

People who are filled with energy, what’s your secret? I feel like I’ve been running on Red Bull and Mane Brain for days now and all I want to do is go to sleep for a week. I still have a lot of work to do and I have a conference for the next two days.

Baby Harry is doing okay. The doctors have notified my brother and sister-in-law that he’ll need to stay at Children’s Hospital for another 8-12 weeks. Poor little guy… his stay gets extended, every day. He’s had more machines hooked up to him in the past week then a lot of people deal with in their lifetime.

Okay, I am rambling and I really should get my butt back to work.

37 thoughts on “Batteries Depleting

    1. Thank you! And thank you for the well wishes for my nephew. The Universe will hopefully do him some favours with all of these people thinking about him and looking out for him.

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  1. Be kind to yourself, you are currently carrying heavy loads sista, baby Harry, his parents, andyour own stuff too.
    You’d deserve a break at least a little one! Treat yourself every now and then!

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  2. It’s tough enough dealing with energy lag when you are part of a normal functioning society. At least then there are people around who can offer support. So I feel for you which doesn’t help you a bit. But, one day…not too far off, hopefully…..you will get the chance to take that break and get pampered, the works.
    XXX to baby Harry, poor wee chap.

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    1. I’m crossing my fingers that I can get a vaccine by July. Then maybe I can go visit Harry! I haven’t even met him yet. What’s the time frame looking like for vaccines there?

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      1. Well I am out in the sticks of NY but I am told I can sign up at Walgreens now because I am 73. In the City it’s more available, so I think things are beginning to move.

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  3. I really hope things turn around for Baby Harry. I know the feeling of there never being enough time to do everything you need to do. I feel the same way when it comes to my work. It takes everything out of me that I push myself to try to write. There are plenty of nights I don’t even write a sentence. Even on my one day off, I don’t even want to touch my novel. I sleep until noon and feel like my day is already over before having to go back to work. Stay strong and you’ll find a way to make time away from everything.

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    1. This made me laugh when I read it last night. I’d absolutely share if I found someone to make me dinner, who also brings wine. I’d be inclined to keep him all to myself, but that kind of goodness, the world needs more of that, so I’d send him your way too! lol (It sounds like I’m pimping someone out)

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  4. Baby Harry has been in my thoughts and prayers. So good to know he is better. Thank God 🙏

    And I wish I could bring his aunt some food and a bottle of wine 🍷

    As long as our source of energy is outside of ourself we shall lose out! But once in a while it is ok to feel drained out.

    Love and blessings 😊🤗

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    1. Yes! My sister-in-law has been eating nothing but hospital food. Due to COVID they won’t let her leave the hospital, or bring anything in. And it looks like she’ll be eating it for the next 8-12 weeks! I’m sure she’d love some good food and a bottle of wine right now.

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  5. I’ve recently been realising the range of reactions that people have to sadness/stress/depression. My nearby friend automatically gets sleepy and is able to sleep through depressions or situations which are overwhelming. Which has its advantages and disadvantages. I envy her when I am feeling totally helpless and stuck, because it doesn’t make me lethargic at all. I just have to sit through it, yet empty and unmotivated. The monotony and boredom just makes the situation worse and me more angry, it’s really awful. But then that’s useful when there’s a clear immediate action I need to and can take in a stressful situation, as stress energises and focuses me even more. I just need something constructive to direct it to. When there is nothing constructive, it gets directed into destructive things which can be really terrible.

    Anyway, my point is to not beat yourself up about it, we have differences and they are helpful and unhelpful in different situations I think. I think that lethargy is a kind of protection mechanism, but I totally see how inconvenient it would be in busy modern society, when you have to work etc.

    Hope Harry continues improving.

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    1. I think I am somewhat like you’re friend.
      When I get depressed… really depressed, I can sleep FOREVER. I can go to sleep at 10 pm, wake up at noon or one pm the next day, eat food and go back to sleep until 9 pm, with no issues falling asleep whatsoever.

      What sucks for me is when I’m in a good frame of mine, I can go to sleep at 10 pm and lay there until 6 am.

      I’m in a weird in-between of those two right now. I’m stressed, but not as stressed as I was. I’m just working a lot, and dealing with a lot. Things got better when Baby Harry was no longer at death’s door. But, it’s still scary. You know what I mean?

      Just sitting there through whatever is stressing and depressing must feel awful. I can’t imagine. I would not want that at all.

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      1. Yeah you really do remind me of my friend. And a male longtime friend of mine as well, who when I last stayed with him was in the depths of a now long-term depression. I witnessed him sleeping like you described, and I couldn’t understand it. I became convinced that he had a sleep disorder, on top of being depressed. This is fascinating.

        “What sucks for me is when I’m in a good frame of mine, I can go to sleep at 10 pm and lay there until 6 am.”

        This is a pretty normal night of sleep though isn’t it?

        Oh absolutely, I can imagine how you’d be stressed, for Harry and for your brother.

        Yeah if anything depression makes me more awake, and in situations where I’ve felt that much dread and helplessness, my thoughts very quickly and easily turned to suicidal ideations and planning. The only way out of it for me is to find something to do, some positive action I can take, and to get moving, which I’ve got better at over time. When I had no options for action it was absolutely awful indeed. I guess this difference is to do with hyperactivity.

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  6. Unfortunately, many of us feel the same V, with lots of up and down days 😦 All we can is enjoy the good days when they happen. Just before your conference, try some deep breathing exercises, look at yourself in the mirror and smile — that always makes me giggle (okay, I’m weird) and it works. Wishing you and baby Harry well my lovely x

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    1. HAHA! I never look at myself in the mirror. What’s that fairy tale about the witch who breaks the mirror when she stairs into it? Sleeping Beauty? That’s what I always pretend is going to happen if I stare at myself.

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  7. Big healing hugs to you and to your family and baby Harry! It sounds like you need some extra special pampering and self-care so take time for yourself. Allow your mind/body to help you through this trying time. You are surrounded by loving friendships so I’m glad you’re reaching out through the blog. We’re here for you!

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  8. I just got out of residential treatment so I’m beyond on your blog– I will definitely be playing catch-up. I’ve missed your posts! If I lived in your neck of the woods, I would totally come over with a bottle of wine, cook, and give you a massage. We could have girls night in. I know what it’s like to just want to relax, do nothing, and be pampered. ~ Sloane

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