Thoughts of July 13

When we start to better ourselves, the improvement often comes with deep sadness. This sadness comes from us realizing what we’ve missed out on, how badly certain people have treated us and what we did deserve up until this point and never got.

Healing involves grieving. Growth involves reflection. Improvement involves acknowledgment of shortfalls. Acknowledge it. Admit to it. Own it. All of it. And don’t you ever, for one moment, for one second, feel bad for cutting toxicity from your life. Boundaries are healthy.

I’m tired. The past few weeks of my life have been nothing short of absolutely exhausting.

People are exhausting. No, actually, people are disappointing. And I say that with what little faith I put in humanity. I expect below the bare minimum of people and they always somehow seem to disappoint regardless.

I just want to escape. I just want to leave everyone and everything behind. I just want to operate a fruit stand in The Maldives.

I’m just annoyed. I need to stop whining to the internet. I’ve put an emphasis on personal growth this year and it’s been hard to face who I am, who I was and what I haven’t been doing so long. It’s also been hard, though, to realize the shit that I’ve put up with from people in my lifetime. I’ve been way too kind to way too many people who really didn’t deserve it.

16 thoughts on “Thoughts of July 13

  1. That’s what life is…accepting the shortcomings and choosing a path to grow…having done that obstacles and struggles are a natural phenomenon…keep going does not mean banging the head into the obstacle…it means finding a way with a calm mind…way is always there…
    Stay blessed always

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Don’t feel bad for having been kind to people, you can’t go wrong with being kind. How other people respond to that isn’t on you.
    I understand the need for learning certain things to stand up for and creating boundaries going forwards, but you are a kind hearted person and that’s extremely valuable. It’s not something to apologise for, trust me.


  3. I’m sure you’ve “heard” me say this before, but “There’s no bar so low that an American can’t scramble under it”…or in this case a North American. But I’m sure you can step right over them as you easily clear the low bar standards others allow themselves to get away with living by. So just stand clear and let them do themselves in!


  4. I’m honestly not sure what to say… I feel like it should be something funny, but you know I just use that to pass off any insecurities or lighten the tension in any room. But as I said, I dunno.

    Also, sadly, I doubt you’d ultimately be content running just a fruit stand.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We have to let go of any expectations we put on ourselves and on others, because people will disappoint us – it’s inevitable. It’s when we hold onto these expectations of others (often subconsciously) is when we end up suffering. To cut to the chase, people do suck. However, when we are fulfilling our purpose in life and not giving a crap about what others think of us, things begin to suck a little less. Everyone’s purpose is different. If your calling is operating a fruit stand in the Maldives, there’s nothing wrong with that. We all need a break from the rat race sometimes.


  6. You need a breather. It’s getting harder and harder to be a human being. Check out what’s happening in South Africa. Humanity stirred into a frenzy and let loose. There are no words. Second thoughts, don’t check it out. Rest. No point in exposing yourself to more human shit. Rest first. It’s important. Take care of yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s