I don’t know how to title this other then to ask, what the hell?

There’s a story that’s making international news right now that I’ve refrained from commenting on for a lot of reasons. The biggest reason I haven’t wanted to talk about it is because the family is going through a lot with loss, and the entire world playing amateur detective and hacking their digital profiles. So, for that reason, all I’ll say is this thought I’m about to ask is related to the case currently making international news tied to Wyoming and Florida.

If your child is potentially involved in a crime, how do you react?

If your child is potentially responsible for a really heinous crime, and they say ‘hey I’m going to go hiking’, do you say ‘Okay, be home for dinner’? Do you try to stop them?

I just don’t understand.

I’m not a parent, so maybe that’s why. But, if your child did something horrible, do you protect them? Do you make excuses for them? Do you help them disappear? Or do you turn them over to authorities?

21 thoughts on “I don’t know how to title this other then to ask, what the hell?

  1. I’m not a parent either, so I can’t really say, but I kind of think I would prefer my kid to stick around and explain. Fleeing into the night or wherever is only going to make things worse. Even if it’s your child, should you cover up? What do I know?

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    1. I just think… while it’s a natural reaction to try and protect your kid, if they’ve done something horrible, something unforgivable, something that can never be taken back, I feel like making them face the consequences is more important. Again, like you, I am not a parent. I don’t know if that sways my thoughts or not.

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  2. They have to be held accountable. I have always told T that if he does something really bad he had better hope that the RCMP catch up with him before I do. He has said that he would rather turn himself in than face me. As you can tell I am all for holding them accountable. It does not mean that I love him any less but I am not going to allow him to get away with well you know.

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  3. I’m not a parent, either, but I think I would answer this question the same way as if the individual in question were a close friend. The best thing in the world that they can do is own up to what they’ve done and turn themselves in. The more cooperative they are with the authorities the better things will be for them in the long run. Avoiding questions or running just makes someone look more guilty. And covering up for them? That’s a criminal act, too. No way am I letting my kid drag me down with them. I’ll continue to love my child ’til the day I die, even if that means I have to do it with plexiglass between us when I visit on Saturdays.

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    1. Totally. You can answer as a close friend or sibling, it’s very much the same. The cost of not following this policy is also the immense suffering you’d be causing to others within your family and outside. You would only choose to protect if you’re the most extremely lacking in empathy, as seems to be the case in this story. Also given the level of surveillance, reach of law enforcement, it’s just plain irrational xD.

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    2. Does this differ between your country and mine? In my country it likely would be the rest of a child’s life through plexiglass. In your country, especially in the two states involved, there’s a very real chance of the death penalty.

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      1. It varies state to state… I know Virginia got rid of the death penalty earlier this year, so off the top of my head, I automatically go to life in prison. I think, when it really comes down to it, if I were the parent, I would rather be ignorant of what’s going on. My conscience would eat at me if I tried to lie and protect my child or sibling or friend, whatever the case. If I don’t know what’s happening I can’t be forced to implicate anyone. I know that’s a cop out response…

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  4. Truth & honesty will put justice before anyone else. (Even your child)

    Affection & emotions will ignore the crime & will try to cover up the crime of your child. ~ And this will be a disaster.

    It’s a simple question which I think doesn’t need someone to be a parent.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Definitely :). And affection and emotions for the victim and their family would also make the choice obvious. In fact it seems it’s affection and emotions which would lead you to choose the right course of action. I guess you need those affection and emotions to start with, though!

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  5. I almost emailed you about this, as I felt you’d be following it and it’s just such a frustrating thing to read about. I’m usually interested in things like this to see how we can learn from them and change things for the better for other people, rather than for example a selfish macabre interest.
    An important thing I’ve learned which really helps to explain a lot in life— is that empathy and sensitivity are very strongly hereditary. Whilst it can vary a lot even between close family members, there’s usually a very strong correlation. There’s the nurture aspect too perhaps, but empathy is very strongly innate it seems. You can’t fix it in someone who doesn’t have it. There’s also a huge gender difference in these traits which also reflects how innate and unlearnable they are. Empathy is a whole language that only those with it understand.
    So yes, I feel all the same things you do about the parents, and that’s just the start of it. Them and the guy they’re looking for are just the most extreme end of the examples of emotional failings and mystery shown in this whole terrible story. She was failed so many times, so many people didn’t intuitively just ‘get’ her suffering when it was so obvious even in video, as well as his eerie and totally disconcerting nature. Red flags everywhere. His parents’ actions are totally consistent with his own.
    I’m no longer surprised this kind of total disconnect and disjointedness in human nature, I’m tired of witnessing/experiencing this all my life. There’s also really no better way to experience this than through reading internet comments…🤦‍♂️. I’m glad to have other sensitive souls like you to relate to, I just feel so bloody alien most of the time.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I never had that problem. Before I had to face anything like it, my son died of an overdose. As he’d grown, he had many problems. More than I knew about because I didn’t custody. I did insist on pulling him from school once because I knew that he would surely face trouble. But I never denied anything or covered anything up. I wanted the boy to become an honorable man. I loved him so much and miss him every day. I don’t know much about the story you refer to, but I don’t think I would be very kind to the hackers and those who wound the ones already knocked down. I share my life by choice. But what about privacy, honor, dignity? Should not people give just a little of that before getting dirty? I like the way you have handled this subject. You are a obviously thoughtful and careful with your words. Most admirable.

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