Second job hunting

I’m looking for a second job. I need something to keep me busy. The way I figure it, if I can make myself busier, I’ll have less time to think. If I have less time to think, I’ll have less time to be anxious. At least that’s the train of though I’m presently following.

Plus it would mean extra money. Extra money is always a good thing, right?

Christmas is coming.

I need some new glasses.

I need some new work shoes.

Extra money could come in handy for all of those things.

The problem with finding a second job is trying to find one that has minimal interaction. There’s all kinds of jobs available around here that involve a lot of interacting with the public. While I greatly admire everyone who’s been working those jobs for the past seven months through this pandemic, I just don’t think I can be one of them. I need to keep my interactions with people minimal right now, for my own peace of mind. If the point of working a second job is to keep myself from being anxious, I don’t want to put myself in a position to make myself more anxious.

Right now I’m thinking a delivery driver would be a good job for me. That or finding someone who is willing to pay me to work from my couch. I know, I know, I know… a girl can dream, though. Perhaps if I hope for it long enough, I can dream it into fruition.

I feel like I’m drowning.

It really scares me.

I should be happy. Why am I not happy?

On paper everything sounds perfect. In reality, I cannot shake this anxious pit in my stomach.

I hate being truthful about it because I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I know how lucky I am. Anxiety is not logical, though. There doesn’t need to be a reason or a rhyme. Sometimes you just have to deal with the quakes as they come.

Day 1 = Done

Went back to the office today. I’m proud to say that I only had one panic attack the entire day. With how anxious I’ve been feeling about being in the office and being around my coworkers, only freaking out once is a huge deal for me.

The CEO left a Costco Size bottle of hand sanitizer, a set of face masks and a large container of disinfectant wipes on everyone’s desk for when we arrive. Normally I am not a fan of single use products, but I think under the circumstance it was a nice gesture for him to provide and I will make use of them. After all, my aversion to single-use products is far less important than keeping the office clean and disinfected.

It’s weird… being around people right now. I want to be nice, I want to be kind. I want to shake the hands of someone I’ve never met. I can’t. I fear people. And I don’t mean that in a way to make me sound weak, or sad, or pathetic… I say that to say the closer I get to people, the closer I get to germs.

I just got out of the shower. Needless to say, I needed to do that before I could do anything else when I walked in the door. There’s about enough time left in the day to have some dinner and decompress. I need to get ready to face the world again tomorrow.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that feeling.

Targeted

There was a shooting (and subsequent car crash) near here last night. You know what helps an anxious mind fall asleep? It’s definitely not hearing gunshots and a car crash after dark when you’re in a house alone at night.

Two people were killed and one is in hospital. While the police have said the shooting was targeted, that doesn’t make it any less scary. People act as though guns aren’t an issue in Canada… I disagree. People being shot within hearing distance of me is not cool…. targeted or not.

I’m anxious

I slept until 1:30 pm today.

My mind has been plagued with so many worries for the past week that it’s been difficult to fall asleep, and when I finally do fall asleep, it’s been increasingly difficult to wake up and actually get up.

Hiding from the world seems ideal. The world can’t hurt me if I’m hiding in my room.

So, let’s start:

My office is opening on Monday. Two of my coworkers tested positive for Corona Virus yesterday. They weren’t in the office, but, it does serve as a reminder to me that I have no control over how safe, or not safe, my coworkers are being with their interactions. I’ll admit, I’m terrified that I’m going to go into that office and it’s going to take no time before I’m sick.

Not only that but stupid thoughts are plaguing my mind. How do I share the coffee maker? Should I buy a cooler style lunch bag so that I don’t have to share the fridge with people? Not sharing the fridge will keep me out of the lunch room and further away from people. Is it weird to be afraid of your coworkers? The city is still in triple digits for positive cases being reported daily.

Kids are also going back to school next week. Since our Premier is determined to share literal propaganda about this virus and how people contract it, I’m ultimately concerned that social distancing is going to fall by the waist side and cases are going to shoot right back up. And at that time, is my office going to stay open? Will my office close again? What’s the future look like in a world that is anything but certain?

In September I’ll also be attending a memorial service for my uncle who passed away earlier this year. Technically speaking we’re still not supposed to be holding gathering’s here. Rather than a memorial service at a Funeral Home or inside a large room somewhere, we’re going to be having it on a beach. Even being on the beach, I’m still nervous about it. I’m trying to arrange getting a Corona Virus test before going but I’ve learned that I cannot get a guaranteed return period for results. The memorial service is on a Saturday, and if I get a test on a Friday, I cannot get a guarantee that I’d have the results for Saturday. It’s making me nervous because, while I don’t intend on getting too close to anyone, I honestly would never forgive myself if I were the reason for one of my family members getting sick. For that reason, I want the test. So I have to figure out what day to get the test for guaranteed return of results.

Speaking of going to a memorial service, I’m basically not allowed to return to work for two weeks following. The week following the memorial service there are two crucial virtual events that I’m supposed to be prepping our company for. Doing that from home is going to be difficult. I’m trying to remind myself that I’ve been working from home since May so it shouldn’t be that much harder. It’s just going to involve me having to hire people to do some things at the office that I can’t do.

I’m also worried about money. I’m always worried about money. That doesn’t seem to go away for me. I think that’s something that largely effects the majority of the human race, so I am trying to remind myself to not let that get the better of me. It’s been plaguing me since childhood so it’s really nothing new.

Am I overreacting? I’m certain that I am. Anxiety is not logical, though. Anxiety has never been logical. I’m just worried. And the worries don’t seem to lessen no matter what I do. So I don’t see myself leaving my bed any time soon.

Ugh.

If you do not like me, don’t read this blog. If you think I’m an idiot, don’t read this blog. If you disagree with me to a point that you don’t think we can have a civil conversation, don’t read this blog.

No one is being forced to read this blog. Yes, it is public. However, just because something is public does not mean that you have to read it.

I know that not everyone agrees with me. And that’s okay. I’m not here to make the world agree with me. I’m here to write my thoughts… on my blog. Emphasis on my blog. If you would like to share your thoughts in a respectful manner, open dialogue is welcome. FYI: it is possible to share differing opinions without being an asshole. That being said, if you’re going to be an asshole, your comments will be flagged as spam and you will be blocked.

I do not have the time, patience or desire to deal with keyboard warriors.

End of story.

Texas is business as usual

In a non-pandemic world, one of the most prominent aspects of my new job is that I’m supposed to be travelling with the sales team to help them with events, client meetings and all that jazz.

Whilst the majority of the world seems to have halted all in-person events, Texas seems to have… missed the memo? I’m not too sure what’s happening down there. They seem to be going ahead with their in person events and they seem to believe that it’s business as usual.

In a non-pandemic world, there are three major events in Texas in October and November that would require being there for three weeks. Three weeks… in Texas. These event organizers are still going ahead as though nothing is going on. They’re basically hounding my office at this point to get our flight information and registrations verified.

“Why aren’t you coming?”

“We’ve got hotel rooms booked for you.”

“Accommodations are being made. Please let us know when your flights are booked.”

My boss has cancelled all trips, events and in person meetings for the rest of the year. He’s talking about doing the same for the first half of 2021 as well, depending on how the rest of this year unfolds. Texas (and when I say Texas I mean the event organizers of these specific happenings that I am supposed to be at, but I don’t want to say their names because, well… sharing their names would give away the name of my employer and… I don’t want to do that) isn’t happy with him for doing that.

I wonder what it’s going to take before they give up the in-person components. They must be struggling for participants if they’re hounding us to come down there.

“Selling” your blog.

Do you want to use your blog to sell products or services? Perhaps you already do? Have you had much success with the products or services that you’re selling? Perhaps it could be better?

If there’s a saying that’s applicable to sales… pretty much across the board, it’s that ‘things can always be better’. There can always be more sales. There can always be more customers. There can always be more value.

Value.

Hold onto that word.

The primary error that most people make when it comes to sales is that they believe they’re selling a product or service. They’re not.

Sales is about fixing problems. Sales is about providing value. Sales is about creating a need for something that people didn’t even realize existed. Sales is not about shoving a deal down people’s throats.

Listen… when people buy cars, they’re not buying a car to have a car. They’re buying a car for transportation. They’re buying a car to save time. They’re buying a car that has room to carry all of their kids, soccer equipment, furniture and tools in one trip. They’re not buying a car because someone told them to. They’re buying a car because they need a car. They’ve determined that the car provides them value.

Does everyone need a car? No. Does everyone need what you’re selling on your blog? No. To those that do need what is being sold on your blog, what have you done to show them value? I ask not to offend, but out of genuine curiosity. Are you just leaving a link there and hoping for clicks? Are you trying to guilt people into purchasing? Are you showing them the value provided through purchasing your product and the problems that it will solve when they do?

Think of it this way: you could sell consulting services or you could provide prosperous futures. You could sell your book or you could provide a page turning cure for quarantine boredom. You could sell t-shirts or you could start new fashion trends.

Successful sales provide value beyond the good or service. This is because those selling are aware that people aren’t buying an item, they’re buying their own personal solutions. You can throw all of the discounts and special deals to the universe as possible, but if the value isn’t communicated, the message won’t register.

I love seeing bloggers succeed. I love seeing bloggers find their passions, build visions for their platforms and accomplish their desires. I love seeing bloggers selling their personal goods and services because I believe in the power of the entrepreneurial spirit. That being said, nothing pisses me off more than seeing “50% off! Today only!” on someone’s platform. 50% off of something that I don’t need is still something that I don’t need.

Instead of focusing on the deals, discounts, flashy pitches and shiny packages, ask yourself how many people need what you’re selling. Ask yourself if they know they need what you’re selling. I want you to make sales, so I want you to remember that 50% off of something they don’t need is still something they don’t need.

Can your poetry help anxiety sufferers? Can your graphic design help with Pinterest metrics? Can your book instill a sense of wonder and adventure within readers? Can your consulting help someone find their passions, financial freedom and hope for the future?

If you’re selling on your blog already, I strongly encourage you to reassess your sales tactics. Even if you’ve made sales, there’s always room for improvement. And, if you’re not selling yet but you’re considering it, I strongly encourage you to asses what values you can provide with the products or services you’re looking to sell. Quite often people aren’t even aware of the problems they have. They aren’t aware of the solutions that could be available to them because they’re so used to living with what is instead of what could be.

Show your audience what could be. Make those sales matter. It’s more than just money. It’s people. It’s passion. It’s relationships. It’s entrepreneurial spirit that knows your value and provides it through your offerings. Discounts don’t matter. Solutions do.

A boring story.

I banged my head.

‘Banged’ is a really weird word. It almost defies the rules of English. It sounds like it should be ‘bonged’…

Anyways, I banged my head. Really badly. I have a stacking washer/dryer set and this is the first time in my life to ever have the stacking laundry system. Since I moved into this place I’ve been extra careful about ensuring I don’t stand up with the dryer door open. Well, careful until last night.

I grabbed the last two pieces of clothing out of the washing machine and stood up quickly, gesturing my hand upward to throw them into the dryer. On the way up, though, I hit the dryer door… so fucking hard. My head has been throbbing since last night. There’s actually a giant lump on the side of my head, where I hit it. It’s probably been 20 years since I’ve managed to do that to myself.

I had a really hard time sleeping last night. I’m having a really hard time focusing today. All I can really focus on is the gnawing pain… reminding me of what a dumbass I am for knowingly standing up whilst the dryer door was open. It’s like I was asking for it.

Anyways, I banged my head.

It hurts.

That… was a story.

NueMedics TENS Therapy – small, mighty and worth every penny

A little more than a year ago I briefly tried my hand with Physiotherapy. I only ended up going to four sessions because it was $130 per session and I just didn’t have enough money to continue going.

One thing that I do remember about physio though, was that each time I was there, a large chunk of the time I spent in each session, I was hooked up to a machine that sent a deep, pulsating vibration to my muscles. At the time, I didn’t know what it was. But, it was (what I believed to be) a much larger version of the Dr. Ho Pain Therapy System that dominates infomercials on television.

Turns out, it was. It’s called “Tens Therapy”, or Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation. It also turns out that, while the Dr. Ho Pain Therapy System is incredulously overpriced, he’s not the only person to market the technology that is ‘Tens Therapy’.

First, to explain: transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (TENS) therapy involves the use of low-voltage electric currents to treat pain. A small device delivers the current at or near nerves. TENS therapy blocks or changes your perception of pain.

Basically, it sends a shockwave to your muscles and when you’re done, you feel like you’ve had a really painful, but very helpful, deep tissue massage.

Insert NueMedics TENS EMS Machine Pro Muscle Stimulator.

This small but mighty device came from Amazon and costs less than a half of what one physiotherapy session cost me.

It’s the size of an MP3 player and it packs all of the power and all of the punch that the machine my physiotherapist charged me $130 a session for.

It features 6 pre-programmed massage modes: tapping, acupuncture, deep tissue, foot, cupping, and combo. Within each mode there’s 20 different tolerance levels so that you can turn the power of the shock to your muscles as high or as low as you need, depending on your pain tolerance that day.

It’s so easy to use. All you have to do is peel and stick the pads to your skin, over the area which you’re experiencing deep muscle pains. Then, turn on the device. It shoots the current through the cords, to the pad and into your muscles.

There’s cords for eight total electrodes to work at once, so you can space them out according to your pain points, or put them all in one place for a very centered pain management approach. It works on its own timer system, so you just sit still for twenty minutes, then you’re done. You can reapply it to other muscles, or, roll up the cord and store it away for the next day. It is so handy.

I am someone who uses foam rollers, back massagers, tiger balm and muscle relaxants and this handy little device works better than all of those things combined.

The package comes with multiple pads of varying sizes to adhere to the different parts of your body where you feel pain.

It’s a completely rechargeable device that charges via USB. So you can connect it to your computer, or the wall, or wherever you have USB ports.

I know that mine looks a little scratched up in the photos. That is genuinely because I use this little device so darn much. It has been a complete game changer for me in dealing with muscular pain in my body. The aches I feel are just a little less achy these days. To me, that is everything.

Less pain is always a good thing.

As mentioned above, this was purchased from Amazon. On Amazon.ca you can buy it for $59.99. I’m not including a link because Amazon Canada links won’t work for the rest of the world, so if you did click it and aren’t Canadian, it wouldn’t do you any good. Also, though, you can buy it on the NueMedics website for cheaper than $59.99 depending on where in the world you are.

It’s small. It’s mighty. It’s cheaper than a massage. It’s cheaper than Physiotherapy. It’s cheaper than some foam rollers. Most importantly, it lessens the need for pain medication.

10/10 – I highly recommend this product. If its within your budget, depending on where you shop (40-60 dollars), it is well worth it to help achy sory muscles.