Words are hard.

I’ve been staring at this screen for the past thirty minutes. I’ve written, deleted, rewritten and re-deleted all of my thoughts this evening. Why? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting change.

My thoughts don’t even seem worthy of putting into words tonight. I’m not anxious, I’m just in a mood. Things are annoying me. I can’t seem to wrap my head around what I want. I have so many ideas and none of them ever seem to come to fruition.

Lately I’ve been thinking it might be nice to just go into business for myself. You know… start a consulting firm and charge people oodles of money for my services. Wow, I can’t believe I said that out loud (so to speak). The entire concept sounds so stupid, yet so exhilarating. I know my worth. I possess such a unique skill set that I know I could bring immense value to any company that I worked for, yet for one reason or another they just don’t seem to hire me. Perhaps I should flip the coin, take control of the situation and charge the heck out of them for my services. I’m not sure that I’ll tell anyone this. At least not now. More than anything it’s a pipe dream at the moment. Perhaps one day.

Until then, I think I’ll just stay hopeful. Hopeful for success, hopeful for a future, hopeful for a day when cell phones aren’t twice as much as laptops, hopeful for happiness.

Hey Knight, if you’re reading this, I think that we should go to Vegas for my birthday. I’m saying this now so that you can take days off.

Should I be impulsive or should I be responsible?

Do I get on a plane, or do I stay home and not spend money when I don’t have a ton of it to go around? Do I accept the money from someone for the plane ticket, if I know I can’t pay it back, even though I know they’d never ask for me to pay it back? Do I follow my heart, or listen to my head?

I have a hard time accepting money, or anything, from people. I always have. Regardless of the person, regardless of the value of what they’re trying to give. It’s something I struggle with, greatly. There are people in my life that I know are genuine when they want to give me things, yet I refuse to allow them. I just feel as though if the no gifts rule has to apply to one, that rule has to apply to all. As much as I try to make exceptions and try to accept the love and generosity someone is trying to give me, old habits are hard to change.

It seems like such a simple answer. ‘Girl, go… get on a plane… do what makes you happiest, chase what you love most. Life is short. Helping someone through cancer treatments teaches you that like a slap to the face on a cold winter’s day.’ That’s my inner-voice speaking. But, if there’s one thing life has taught me this year, life doesn’t get to be so simple. I’ve been feeling the need to be cautious with my decisions lately. I want to set myself up for the future. I want a future, a good future, an important future. I’m capable of so much and truthfully, part of me worries I am one bad decision away from ruining that potential.

The Psychiatrist that I’ve been seeing says that I’m a chronic over-thinker with compulsive tendencies. Translation: I spend a long time thinking about things and then just do it anyway. While I won’t deny, that has allowed me some pretty incredible experiences in life, I don’t want to feel as though I’m sponging off those that I love for the rest of my life.

Okay, so, in all likelihood, I’m going to continue thinking about this all night long. There’s a very real possibility that I resort to online shopping in hopes to distract myself. Does anyone else put things in your online shopping cart for ten different websites at once and never actually buy anything? Or, is that just me? That’s likely just me.

My fitbit is beeping at me to go to bed. Really quick though, before I peel off my socks and curly up in bed, I’ve got something totally unrelated to this to say. I’ve been really disappointed with the news coming to light of all (in the past few weeks) of the trash Canada has shipped overseas under the misquoted manifest of ‘recyclables’. While we’re one of the most developed nations on earth, we’re only actually recycling as little as 9% of materials that are able to be recycled. And if it’s happening here, it’s happening in more than just Canada. We need to be better. As a human race, we need to be better. We need to make the effort. The very state of our planet depends on it. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

Sweet dreams, beautiful world.

One of the most accurate descriptions of love that I’ve ever read.

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

Bob Marley

Tips for finding cheap flights.

Screenshot from video “How to draw an airplane” on youtube.

Have you ever noticed that paying for flights can, quite often, be the most expensive part of the trip? Thought flying is exceptionally convenient, it can also be exceptionally expensive.

Finding cheap flights, or at the very least, the best deal you can get on the day you’re purchasing, is important. So, here are some tips to finding the cheapest ticket possible.

Search prices using travel booking websites. Websites like Expedia, Travelocity, Kayak, Momondo, Cheap-O-Air, etc… all have the ability to provide you quotes of tickets from multiple different airlines. If you don’t have flexibility as to when you book, at least check prices across different websites before you book to find which might be cheapest. My favourite website for searching plane ticket fares is momondo.com because I find it provides the option for the most airlines.

If you’re going to be making stopovers, consider the option of flying with more than one airline. One of the things I most appreciate about momondo.com is that the quotes it provides you can often include more than one airline. This is how you know you’re finding the cheapest tickets. Momondo might include a flight from Calgary, Canada to London, England on Air Canada and then a flight from London, England to Copenhagen, Denmark on Lufthansa. This is important to deal hunting because, if you live in Canada you know how expensive our flights are! Booking London to Copenhagen with AirCanada rather than Momondo could mean that you pay for AirCanada fees, rather than Lufthansa fees for your Copenhagen flight. And Lufthansa fees are A LOT cheaper.

Be flexible with your dates! If you know you want your holiday to be during a specific time of year, but don’t have specific dates you need to travel for, be open to all dates during that season. IE – If you want to go to Mexico in Winter, flights in January might be extremely expensive, while flights in February might be several hundred dollars cheaper.

Fly on weekdays, where possible. I’m not sure if this is the case internationally but I’ve noticed that , when purchasing flights in Canada and the USA, it’s more expensive to fly on Friday, Saturday and Sunday then it is Monday-Thursday. This is especially helpful when you’re leaving for quick trips, or weekend trips. Leaving on a Thursday as opposed to Friday could save you a lot of money on flights.

Airlines biggest ‘sales’ are offered on the biggest holidays. Boxing Day and Black Friday/Thanksgiving will always have considerably reasonable seat sales. Other holidays where seat sales often occur are Mother’s and Father’s Day, Canada Day and 4th of July, and Family Day (if it’s celebrated where you are).

Always book in advance. Gone are the days when airlines would put up last minute offers. These days, the longer you wait to purchase, the higher the prices are going to be, with very few exceptions. I’ve noticed that if you’re flying within Canada or the United States, five weeks in advance seems to be the ‘sweet spot’ for purchasing tickets.

Fly into smaller airports, where possible. If budget is important to you, consider this, airlines pay heavy gate fees to be able to fly into major airports (especially if they’re international airports) and that gate fee they pay is passed on to customers through ticket prices. This is why flying into smaller airports can often be much cheaper. Example: Flying into Abbotsford Airport, 1 hour from Vancouver BC can be anywhere from 50 to 200 dollars cheaper (depending on where you’re coming from) than flying into Vancouver Airport.

Use a credit card that collects airline points. This is SOOOOOOO important. While you’re buying your groceries, paying for your hair cut, paying your bills, or doing anything that you spend money on, use that credit card. Even if you use the credit card for a purchase and pay it off 15 minutes later, you will be collecting Airline rewards points for those purchases. Do some research about what card will get you the best rewards for your lifestyle. I took this leap in 2014 and, since then, have earned anywhere from $200-$600 off flights per year depending on how frequently I’ve used the credit card.

On body positivity.

I want to talk about a sticky subject for a moment, so I’ll try to keep it brief.

Body positivity is about respect. It’s not about what you believe is attractive or what you view as healthy. Body positivity is about respecting that beneath that outer layer we all show to the world, we’re all human. There are no exceptions.

Body positivity is about the belief that all bodies are a work of art. Why? Because our bodies protect us, help us and are the reason we’re all able to get around and do ANYTHING at all. Whether you’re skinny or not, tall or short, have knobby knees or dangly arms (or no arms), scars are scrapes, or any of the mecca of things that pepole can be/are insecure about, body positivity is a respect for yourself and for all humans.

It has NOTHING to do with what you view as attractive.

Body positivity is integral to happiness, both your own and others. Respecting yourself for you who are will help you to love yourself for exactly who you are. And let me tell you, you are fucking amazing. See it, believe it and know it. And pass that respect on to other’s as well. Because as much as we like to tell ourselves the opinions of other’s don’t matter, they do. So let them know they’re fucking amazing. Because body positivity can make a world of difference to one’s self-esteem.

Excerpts from a book I’ll never write.

I have a profound appreciation for people who are able to make me see a different perspective, understand different opinions and view life in a different light.

A way with words, that’s my weakness. Also, the key to my heart. Someone who can string some seemingly senseless words together in a manner which causes me to tear down all the walls I’ve spent so long building, that’s magic.