I can’t. I can’t. I cannot.

I consider myself a relatively not-stupid individual. By that I mean, if a situation is dropped in front of me, 9.8 times out of 10, I can do it, figure it out, or solve it. I’m pretty not-sucky when it comes to words (though I admit my editing is sub-par). I’m also pretty creative. I don’t want to brag or anything, but I’m going to brag about the fact that the three times in my life that I’ve taken part in an escape room, I was a part of the pair who got out first. We didn’t just escape the escape room first, we escaped the escape room with a wide margin between us and the next pair in line. So wide that we were already drinking beers by the time the next pair came along.

What does any of this have to do with what I’m about to complain about? Nothing, really. I just wanted to make myself sound painstakingly average to set the scene.

Why are duvet covers so fucking hard?

I invested in a king-sized weighted blanket about two months ago, and I’ve loved it ever since. My sleep has forever changed. To anyone who’s invested in a weighted blanket, you know there’s a giant jump in price between the Queen size (what I previously owned) and the King size. Given this jump in price, and the difficulty that comes from washing weighted blankets (because they cannot be put in a traditional washing machine) that only gets more difficult with the bigger, and heavier that they get, I purchased my stupidest purchase of 2021. I bought a duvet cover for my weighted blanket.

I know. I know. I know, don’t tell me. I’ve complained MANY times about how much I hate duvet covers. And I do. I still do. I spent $100 on a Duvet Cover (Don’t ask me why I spent $100 on it when you can literally get them at WalMart for $20) and it’s been sitting in my linen closet since the day that I got it.

I CAN’T DO IT.

I CAN’T.

I can escape the escape rooms. I can negotiate contracts with multi-billion dollar corporations. I can even eat Carolina Reapers when dared. I literally can’t think of anything else I’ve done in my life worth bragging about, but you get the point. I cannot, for the life of me, get a fucking duvet cover over my blanket. I feel like I need a degree in engineering.

I will literally pay someone $1,000,000 to come to my house and put it on. Okay, I can’t because I don’t actually have a million dollars.

See what I mean? Painstakingly average.

The entire concept of a Duvet Cover is stupid. Every time I open my linen closet I can see it there, folded so neatly, just laughing at my mediocrity.

I see you, stupid $100 that I’ll never get use from. I see you there, I see you laughing at me. You can just live there, in the closet.

Perhaps the silliest thing about this is the fact that mom used to work at a drycleaner and told me that I could probably just get the blanket cleaned for less than the Duvet Cover cost. Why am I still capitalizing Duvet Cover? I don’t know. I make a lot of poor decisions, not the least of which being my lack of desire to edit… or even use proper spelling and grammar to start with.

I’m going to go.

(*Slowly crawls back under bridge to live with the trolls where I belong)

People that annoy me

People who say ‘we should do coffee’. No, no we shouldn’t. There’s a reason why we haven’t seen each other in years. If I wanted to go for coffee with you, I would have at any point in the past [x] amount of time in which we haven’t communicated.

Parents who exploit their children on the internet for cash. I’m not talking the mom’s or dad’s who post pictures of their kids just because. I’m talking about the parents who post pictures or videos of their children and go into very detailed descriptions of their physical or mental health issues or tell their child’s personal stories for things like Mr. Clean Advertisements (because yes, this does happen on Instagram all of the time).

People who are unwilling to do their job. If you’re being paid to do a job, please do said job. If you don’t like it, if you don’t want to be there, if you think you’re too good for the job, whatever the reason might be… you don’t need to make everyone else’s lives difficult because it

Guys that don’t call you when they say they’re going to. Don’t say you’re going to call if you’re not going to call. No woman, myself included, wants to be sitting around waiting for a man to call.

People who make everything about them. When you’re telling a story or reading or a story or simply minding your own damn business and that person always has to speak up about something that happened to them, or someone they knew, or something they did… yeah those people.

Drivers that hold up all the traffic in a parking lot so that they can wait 20 minutes for a spot close to the door. Heaven forbid they’re forced to park two rows away and walk an extra 200 feet to get into the store.

People who take all but the last two sips worth of the coffee, or the orange juice, or the milk, so they don’t have to replace it. If you drink the end of the coffee, make another pot. If you drink the end of the juice, get more juice.

People don’t care abut something until it happens to them. It shouldn’t have to happen to you for it to matter to you. Period.

Nosy neighbours that need to mind their own business. Nuf Said.

Litterers.

People that pretend to care. At least when people don’t fucking care and are honest about it, they have the guts to be honest about it. Someone pretending to care is such a waste. A waste of effort, a waste of thought, a waste of emotion. Just a waste.

Air conditioning is a luxury – a rant

The past few days I’ve seen quite a few people around the internet stating that people in the Pacific Northwest and Western Canada are stupid for not having air conditioning.

I’d like to remind those people that air conditioning is a luxury. It’s not automatically installed in every home that’s built.

Why? Why should it be?

We don’t all live in Arizona. I say that jokingly, but also truthfully. The Pacific Northwest is the rainiest place in the continental USA. Western Canada is covered with snow 6-8 months of the year, and the rest of the year, barely manages to reach 30 degrees Celsius (86 Fahrenheit). It’s not normal for the weather to be this hot. Nor should it be.

Fewer than 50% of homes in Canada are built with air conditioning. Actually, it’s probably closer to 30%.

I’m not as familiar with the warmer states, but I have a hunch that air conditioning is not as likely of a regular feature there as well. Air conditioning costs money. A lot of money. To install. To run. To maintain. With so many people at, or below, the poverty line, air conditioning isn’t likely something accessible to them.

Please don’t call people stupid for not having air conditioning.

Be grateful that you have air condition and recognize it for the luxury that it is. Then, understand that not everyone in the world does, and that’s okay. Heat waves like this make life unnaturally difficult to bear in this part of the world. But, there are people who deal with this heat regularly where no one has air conditioning at all! Have some compassion. It’ll take you a lot farther in life.

End Rant.

No words.

The fact that the remains of 215 children were found in a mass grave site that no one knew about and there are people in this country who are trying to draw excuses for that shows that we’ve got bigger problems with racism in this country than anyone is willing to admit to.

The fact that the remains of 215 children were found in a mass grave site proves that present day Canadians have NO IDEA the extent of the horrors Indigenous Communities have lived through at the hands of white people. 215 children died and were buried together in a giant hole. Think about that. There’s no records. No one knows when this happened, or how this happened. 215 children died and no one was held accountable for that.

At what point in time will our country stop propping up these ‘white saviours’ of the past and start to realize that cultural genocide is not something we should be celebrating? These people don’t deserve to have schools, churches, roads and infrastructure named after them. These people deserve to be looked back upon with disgrace. These 215 children deserve justice.

At what point do we stop turning a blind eye to the deep, dark and disgusting history Canada created?

How many people died? How many more mass grave sites are around this country? How many unlabeled grave sites are around this world representing the Indigenous children who were ripped from their home and adopted out without the permission of their parents, without record of where they were sent or who they were sent to live with? We, the present generation, may not have done this. But we, the present generation, shouldn’t be turning a blind eye to this.

No one, and I mean that in its entirety, no one on this planet can make excuse for the fact that human remains of 215 children were buried in a mass grave site near a former residential school. That is un-fucking-believable to me. The fact that there are people in positions of political power in this country who don’t see anything wrong with the history of residential schools is doing so, so, so much harm.

White people in Canada spent the better part of the 20th century doing irreparable harm.

Saturday Morning

Shout out to the neighbour’s roofing crew who started replacing the roof at six-o-clock this morning. You know what’s not quiet? Replacing a roof. You know what’s not conducive to sleep? Listening to a roof being replaced, shingles being torn off and ten men shouting barbaric things at one another(that are not, and will never be funny) at six am.

Am I short on patience today? Sure am.

#FirstWorldProblems

ENOUGH with the mansplaining already – a rant.

Every time, EVERY TIME, that I go into speaking about any subject, there seems to be a man right there ready and waiting to interrupt me so that he can explain to me just what it is I am talking about.

All day.

Every day.

Justin, from our Texas office, is particularly bad with this. Actually, all the men at my company are. If I’m being completely honest, I think they see their advanced degrees in specialized subject areas as a classification that they’re ultimately smarter than everyone with respect to every subject. Axel doesn’t just think he’s smarter with respect to everything, he KNOWS with his whole heart and every fiber of his being that he’s smarter than everyone else on earth with respect to every subject matter.

During our meeting this morning, I was drinking a smoothie. After being asked what was in my smoothie and not making it past the ingredient ‘protein powder’ I was promptly cut off so that I could listen to a tangent about what proteins are best for me as I’m female and I can’t just go to the store and pick a protein powder because the packaging is cute.

Apparently that’s all females do, select any and every product they buy based off what the packaging looks like. At least that’s what I got out of the 20 minute tangent I listened to this morning.

It’s getting to the point where I’ll avoid conversations outright and make up excuses to get out of conversations so that I don’t have to listen to people mansplain. I think I’ll be okay if you don’t interrupt me today. How about you go back to your own job and leave me alone.

My coworker, Kat, says ‘You just get used to it after a while’. Kat, I don’t really want to get used to it.

There’s a BIG difference between making a suggestion, telling me how to do my job and telling me why I’m doing my job wrong. There’s a BIG difference between asking me what I’m drinking and telling me that I shop based on what the package of a product looks like.

I’m annoyed.

Influencer murders HEALTHY dog then uses dog’s death for click-bait

The title explains itself. I’m mad. I’m not including a picture of this woman. Honestly, her face and existence makes me angry, for a lot of reasons beyond this story.

Nikki Phillippi, YouTube influencer, has come under fire (rightfully so) for putting her HEALTHY dog down and then using the dog’s death for click-bait to promote her YouTube channel, where she monetized the story “explaining” why her dog needed to die.

In her Instagram post, promoting the upcoming YouTube video, Nikki showcases a myriad of photographs taken with the family and their dog THE DAY THEY KILLED IT. They literally went out into their backyard and had a family photoshoot with their dog, right before putting it down. In the caption she explained that she was saddened she was forced to make this decision, but it was the right decision to make and her YouTube video would “explain everything”.

In the video, Nikki and her husband explain that their dog (a bull terrier) was attacked as a small puppy and had lived with trauma that made it skittish and defensive ever since. Nikki said that she felt the dog was aggressive because of unresolved trauma.

YA THINK?

If your dog is attacked, you need to get it proper training and give it proper love to help it work through its trauma.

In the video, Nikki and her husband explain that the dog was amazing, and their “cloud angel”, and that he was so good to their family and that he was their child prior to having children. She then immediately contradicts all of those statements by saying that this dog attacked another dog five years ago and they should’ve put him down then, but they weren’t going to provide any details because they didn’t want to dishonour their dog.

Nikki, who’s been on record in previous videos saying that her and her husband didn’t have enough time for the dog and felt like they neglected that, at one point proclaiming she hadn’t walked their dog in months, exclaimed that their dog wasn’t aggressive unless their son was bothering it. Her husband tells a story in the video about how their son pulled at their dog’s ear so badly that he got ‘cauliflower ear’ that took more than a month to properly heal. She goes on to tell more stories about how her son would go over and yank on it’s neck and steal its food out of its dish, scream at it and pull on its tail to wake him up.

As parents, normally people teach their children to be gentle with animals. These people, just seemed to brush off their son’s behaviour as ‘kids being kids’ not understanding that they need to teach their child how to act around, and with, animals.

So we have a bull terrier who doesn’t get walked, isn’t let outside, whom they let their toddler scream at, yank on it’s fur and tail, steal is food and wake it up.

Yeah, maybe the dog’s mad.

Maybe the dog’s annoyed that it cannot vocalize the child consistently pissing it off. Maybe the dog cannot vocalize that it’s tired of being a prisoner kept in your own home.

In the video, they explain how they wouldn’t let their dog outside unless it was in a car.

So they wouldn’t take it for walks, they would just put it in the car and drive around with him.

Dogs need exercise.

Dogs need love.

Dogs need affection. They need attention. They need to be made to feel as though they’re a part of the family too. Dogs do not need to be tormented by a small child that no one has ever taught to act with animals.

I’m not blaming this child. This child is a toddler and if it’s parents have neglected teaching it how to act around a dog, it’s not the child’s fault. It’s Nikki’s fault, and her husband’s fault.

Nikki talks about how great their dog was with their son. How amazing their dog was and how their dog always protected their family. In the same sentence she says ‘But he was aggressive, he bit our son. It wasn’t a bad mark, but it was a small mark.’

When they talk about the “small mark” (direct quote, not paraphrasing) the dog left on their son, her husband proclaims that right then and there, he wanted to take the dog out back and put it down right then and there, but he restrained himself.

So basically, he was a great dog, but he was violent because he left a small mark on their child after their child attacked him. He was aggressive in his past and they considered putting him down before, but now was the right time to end this dog’s life.

OHHH and she said the Humane Society told her that she couldn’t rehome her dog because she’d be liable if the dog attacked someone whilst living in a new home. She said the Humane Society told her it sounds like they were just waiting for ‘a big attack’.

So they paid someone to come to their house and put their dog down after having a family photoshoot with it in the back yard. She promoted her upcoming YouTube video on her Instagram account proclaiming that she’d “explain everything”. She then monetized a YouTube video where she and her husband talk in circles for 24 minutes about how aggressive, but not aggressive, their dog was. She then used the end of her video to promote the “Upcoming changes in her life” and that she “hopes people will follow along with the next stage of their family’s journey”.

She NEVER mentions getting the dog training.

She openly admits to not walking the dog anymore.

She openly admits to neglecting the dog.

She didn’t teach/hasn’t taught her child how to be gentle with animals.

She didn’t rehome her animal because of some “person” at a Human Society who told her an animal cannot be rehomed and retrained to be less aggressive.

But it was the right decision to put the dog to death. Because he was aggressive, though he wasn’t aggressive. Oh, and he comes from a dangerous breed.

She murdered her dog. She’s now trying to justify murdering her healthy dog. She monetized the entire story because she knew it would boost her channel clicks, make her a big pay day and help promote her platforms.

Do your f’ing research

Yesterday, the CTV Morning Live show for our city had a story about how you save and prepare for baby and all that you need to think about during this pandemic. It was a very bubbly story about how wonderful and beautiful it is that families are using this time in history to expand their families and how kids are such a blessing.

Apparently, someone who works for CTV didn’t do their research when they pulled a ‘stock image’ from the internet to use for their piece. Next to ‘5 things to consider as you financially plan for parenthood’, the station decided to use an image of Chris Watts and his family to showcase a ‘happy family’.

Haven’t heard of Chris Watts? Lucky you. To fill you in, Chris Watts (the man in this photo) brutally murdered and disposed of the bodies of his pregnant wife and two young daughters, all pictured here.

Maybe the photo they used of a ‘happy family’ shouldn’t be that of one that is of a man who murdered everyone else in the photograph and sent the police on a wild goose chase as he proclaimed on national television that his wife just ‘went to a friends house and didn’t return’.

The fact that this made it to live television… I don’t know what’s worse – if one person took it from the internet and no one else saw or proofed it before putting it on the show, or if multiple people saw and no one stopped and said ‘hey, where’d you get that picture from’?

Thoughts of the day.

When you get the opportunity to get a COVID vaccine and you’re medically able, please do.

Vaccines are an incredibly effective weapon against disease. Here’s a fun chart for your viewing.

Graph illustrating the effectiveness of three vaccines in the US; red dot indicates start of vaccination  – From Encyclopedia Britannica, Inc.

Notice how when vaccines for each of these three diseases officially started being implemented into the United States, society stopped being plagued by them.

Not only are vaccines extremely useful for preventing sickness, or lessening the severity of sickness, but they’re also effective at slowing spread of disease. If enough vaccines are administered… well, I know I said it before but there’s a reason why no one in the western world has been subject to the polio vaccine in the past 30 years.

Also, to anyone who’s claiming certain vaccines are dangerous because it has a risk of blood clots, every single woman on earth can attest that birth control has a much higher risk of blood clots than what’s been reported for those who take the vaccine. I don’t think I’ve ever seen mass hysteria against women taking birth control for fear they might get a blood clot. I’ve seen people say ‘Don’t take birth control because babies are precious gifts’ but I’ve never seen someone create a widespread protest of birth control because of blood clots. Why’s that? Because modern medicine and science are good things.

Also, NSAIDS can cause blood clots. Those are Aspirin, Naproxen, Ibuprofen… most of what you can find on the shelf at your local drug store. Antidepressants can also cause blood clots.

Have a little faith in science, modern medicine, history and what vaccines have done for society, and in health care workers. If you don’t, there are A LOT of medications and treatments that you really ought to stop taking, benefiting from the science of.

Life Lessons from Me

It is not appropriate, acceptable, okay, or EVER warranted to tell a woman she’s beautiful in a professional setting. It’s not now, it never was and it won’t ever be. That’s not a compliment.

Women do not go to work to be eye candy. They don’t want comments about their appearance made in the workplace.

Women work long and hard to reach the levels they reach in their professional careers. When a man is willing to interrupt a meeting to refer to a woman as beautiful, what he’s doing in that moment is telling her that no matter her education, no matter her work experience, no matter her skills, her intelligence, her professionalism and her ability to change the very face of the company, workforce and world, he will never see her as an equal. He won’t ever see her as anything more than a shell.

A woman’s appearance has not a single fucking thing to do with how well she can do her job.

Just don’t do it. Just don’t comment on a woman’s appearance in the workplace. Please don’t. EVER.