Absolutely (un)important questions.

In asking these two questions, I am just looking for general thoughts, and only if you want to answer. Thank you to anyone who takes a time to respond!

  1. What are your thoughts on people who include “Buy Me A Coffee” at the bottom of every post they make?
  2. What are your thoughts on people who include “Donate to me” or “Donate to my blog” on the bottom of every post they make?

I’m curious because I see these popping up more and more with each day that I read new blogs. I was just wondering if this is the new ‘it thing’. If you don’t have them, what are your thoughts? And if you have these on the bottom of your posts, do people donate to you?

*Important Note – If you answer, please be respectful with your response. If you’re an asshole, I will flag your comment as spam.

Thank You!

“Stay Humble and Hustle Hard”

I saw the quote earlier today on a reclaimed wood sign hanging in a local diner, and I liked it. So I’m using it.

I love Sundays.

My nephew slept in the spare room last night. We call the spare room his room because he’s the only one who ever sleeps in there. Anyway, he asked what happened to the mattress and why he had to sleep on an air mattress. When I told him that we gave the mattress to the woman across the street for her and her daughter he asked why she needed a new mattress and why she didn’t just go and buy one. I told him that she got in a fight with her husband and that she needed a new place to sleep for a few nights. His response? “Well, you should have given her my blanket too.” What a sweet soul my nephew is. I really do believe he makes me a better person just by hanging out with him.

My mom made her very first sale on Etsy. She’s so proud of herself and she’s so happy that someone wanted to purchase something she made. It’s nice to see a little ambition in her. She’s already talking about making more and putting more up on her Etsy store. It is nice to her so excited about something.

There are some new neighbours (I call them neighbours because they’re on the street they’re not right next door) who have three little pugs. The pugs name’s are Huey, Dewey and Louie. I want all of them. I think I’m going to make best friends with these people just so that I can hang out with their dogs.

I have so many different posts in my drafts folder right now I’m torn between deleting them all or posting them all at once. I just… I don’t know what to do with them.

Okay, I better go for now.

I’m annoyed.

My aunt stopped by this morning, unannounced(this aunt).

Naturally, my first desire was to go upstairs at 8:30 when she showed up and casually remind her that she’s an asshole and there’s no need to be that mean and such a petty bitch. But, I’m trying to keep the peace in the family. I’m trying to not sink to a level that would add fuel to her tempestuous fire.

So, I decided to stay downstairs. I decided to stay away from her because I knew if I went near her, I was going to have to be nice to her. And I didn’t want to be nice to her. I don’t think she deserves my being nice to her. That may sound childish, but that’s how I feel.

Because she just lives to annoy people, she decided that she needed to come downstairs and speak to me about our last conversation.

According to her, my reaction to the discussion and subsequent hanging up on her only showcases to her even more how childish and immature I am and how if I keep up this attitude, I’m virtually never going to find success as an adult.

According to me a decent fucking human being doesn’t talk to anyone that way, let alone someone who is your family.

My response? “Thanks for your input. I’ll take it into consideration along with the fact that you know absolutely nothing about my life and have a propensity to treat people like shit. Once everything has been considered, I’ll be sure to not tell you the conclusion that I’ve reached because, as a reminder, just because you’re family does not mean that I have to talk to you. Have a nice day!”

Then I smiled and closed the door in her face.

Just because someone is your fucking family member does not mean that they have the right to treat you like shit. No one should be able to treat someone like that, regardless of relationship or lack of relationship. I’ll keep my peace and I’ll keep my thoughts to myself but god damn, if she shows up here unannounced again, I’m locking the door and hoping she just leaves.

I’m trying to not let this eat away at my entire day. But, as mentioned earlier in the week – once I get angry, it’s sometimes hard for me to come back down…

The beautiful ‘lie’ of Jeffree Star.

Okay. This is 100% personal opinion and I am stipulating that at the start because this is going to sound like a really negative post.

Usually I don’t like singling anyone out specifically because… while I can be negative person overall, I don’t want to be a bully. I just want to be realistic about the world. With all that being said, there are some things I wish to say.

The internet has been ‘abuzz’ the past week, since Youtube ‘Sensation’ Shane Dawson dropped the trailer for his series titled ‘The Beautiful World of Jeffree Star’ and oh my goodness, do I have a lot to say.

First and foremost: make no mistake – this is an advertisement. This series, each ‘epsiode’ (the first of which that has been viewed more than 13 million times already) that Shane Dawson has put together, is a bought and paid for infomercial by Jeffree Star.

Jeffree Star is renowned for being a tumultuous, racist asshole who stirs up drama, treats people like trash and stays relevant by creating chaos on the internet. I’m sure he’s extremely self-aware of his image and the character he portrays on the web and I bet he wanted people to see ‘another side of him’, a ‘softer side of him’. What’s the best way to do that? Stage a friendship with one of the most popular Youtubers ever… one known for being ‘down to earth’ and ‘honest’.

Okay, now let’s get into the nitty gritty of my thoughts.

I don’t understand why Shane Dawson has 22 million subscribers. I really don’t. While he comes across as a nice enough dude, but I really don’t buy his ‘schtick’. He plays himself out to be this ‘down to earth, honest, self-deprecating, falsely humble’ dude who frequently says he’s not wealthy (those is estimated net worth is greater than 10 million) and pretends as though the things he’s doing he’s not making money for. He’s like the guy next door. He says something and people eat it up because he just seems so likable. But honestly, I’ve never understood it. He’s the king of click-bait and it all seems like a persona, and not real. (That’s a 100% personal opinion)

Shane has this massive platform in which he could really do something amazing with. Instead, he’s the guy who makes fat jokes in front of a youtuber who’s famous for her struggles with an eating disorder, who’s clearly still struggling with her eating disorder. He frequently uses his platform for showcasing problematic youtubers who have made their millions on the backs of taking advantage of vulnerable, naive viewers that don’t realize what genuine assholes they are. (Jake Paul, Jeffree Star, Tana Mongeau and so on and so forth)

And of course, this is my speculation, but I am betting that each one of those series’ and episodes he’s created for these problematic youtubers were all bought and paid for. Think about it. Just using this Jeffree Star series as an example… we’re supposed to believe that Shane Dawson has been following Jeffree Star around for 9 months to make a video series for him… for free? Why? Jeffree Star isn’t that interesting of a subject that spending nine months making a web series for free seems worth it.

Shane just happened to make a Conspiracy theory video about a Youtuber, who had never told her true story, that just so happened to fall in line with her book coming out? Well that’s either a coincidence, or a bought and paid for advertisement for her to publicize her book. And what better place to publicize your book than on a popular Youtube platform with more than 22 million followers…

Back to Jeffree.

Jeffree Star is a problem. He’s racist. He’s a bully. He’s made his millions on the backs of treating people like shit and then saying over and over and over again ‘I’m staying out of it!’. H claims the discrimination card and then he discriminates. I remember when he referred to women as gorillas. I remember hearing him use the N word on camera. People say he still likes to use that word. Jeffree has been using Youtube for years to systematically destroy ‘the beauty community’, and take down anyone who he perceives to be a threat to his youtube success or to compete with his cosmetic sales.

Literally, if you go through his ‘feuds’ to see who he’s tried to ‘ruin’ over the years, he has no one left but Shane for which to collaborate with. This is his last ditch option to make himself look like a good guy.

And, if you see how the first episode of this series has been reviewed in the media, (and I mean real, legit media) all people can focus on is “is there a softer side of Jeffree Star we’ve never seen before? No. There is not a softer side to Jeffree Star. But, by media stopping to ask that question, he’s achieved exactly what he wanted with this series. This is an act being played out for a camera to try and make Jeffree Star seem like a nice person. Because if he’s a nice person people will follow him on youtube and buy his products thinking he’s not the asshole that he’s always been. Because if Shane Dawson, the boy next door, makes Jeffree look like a good guy then it has to be true, right?

Much like Instagram influencers only posting a perfectly curated portrayal of ‘a beautiful life’ to their instagram pages, this series is a perfectly curated portrayal of who Jeffree Star wants you to think that he is. He knew when the camera was filming and he knew who he had to portray himself to be whilst the camera was filming.

Make no mistake about it – this series is an infomercial and I’m just not buying it.

**Point of note: I have NO PROBLEM with Shane making these bought and paid for series for his youtube channel. If he wants to make that money, good for him. But, I think that he should be being honest with his audience. Transparency is something lacking on Youtube… especially with those who have larger followings.

A ‘love letter’ to the WordPress community

I think we all want to feel like our words matter. Like they make a difference. Like we mean something to someone. That we’re not just aimlessly wandering through this life, not leaving a mark anywhere, with anyone.

I get that. I really do. I feel that way a lot.

I think that’s why it’s so amazing when we come across someone who’s words align so well with the way that we think, with how we see the world, with who we perceive ourselves to be. Finally finding that feeling as though you’re not alone, it’s a big deal.

For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of meeting someone who understood me, who didn’t want to change me, who liked me just the way I was. And last year, I found that. Not only had I never known a love like that before, but I’d also never known an understanding like that. It was beautiful, unwavering and felt like it weather any storm.

Because when you find someone who’s words resonate with you, it’s a magical feeling (for lack of better terminology). It’s almost as if you’ve got this family that you never knew you had. People who understand you, who love you for who you are and have no interest in changing you.

I get that. That feeling, it’s everything.

This place has become like a second family to me. I come here when I’m sad. I come here when I’m mad. I come here when I’m happy. I just like to come here. I like the people. Even when they notice, and point out that I probably come here too often, I just like the place. I just like the acceptance, how everyone treats you as though you’re one of their own. Like you’ve known each other all along and this is the place you were meant to be.

No one judges me here. No one holds my faults against me. People just appreciate and respect. And, man oh man, that’s a nice feeling to find.

Thank you. All of you. Thank you. You mean the world to me.

Confessions of a Millennial

I was watching a tv-show earlier in which the characters were sharing confessions with one another. And, for some reason, I felt like sharing mine. Are these that interesting? Likely not. But, I’ve got a lot on my mind tonight so I thought I’d write them all down and let some of it out of my head. I may not leave these up. I’m not too sure.I’m just trying to declutter my mind right now…

I’m an emotional eater. When I get sad, I go for the junk food. When I’m lonely, I go for the junk food. When I’m indifferent, I go for the junk food. When I’m happy, bring out the cake! I hide food in my room so that I can eat when I get emotional. I know it’s not good for me. I absolutely know that. I have no excuses.

I didn’t leave my house at all yesterday. I didn’t even step out the door to go to the mailbox. I do this a lot. Sometimes I feel like I am not worthy of being around people, so I will just keep to myself as though the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

I once witnessed someone get hit upside the head (by a drug dealer) with a baseball bat and subsequently fall into the hot tub he was standing in front of. I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do. The Drug Dealer was screaming to leave him in there (the guy he just hit with the bat), and honestly, if it weren’t for one person who jumped into action, he probably would have drowned in there because we were all so scared that if we moved to help, he’d hit us with the bat as well.

The one time that I told a family member about my anxiety their response was ‘oh you’re just being dramatic’. As a result, I don’t think I’ll ever tell another family member ever again.

Someone tried to kidnap me when I was ten years old. He picked me up from behind, held me in his arm, put his hand over my mouth and started running for the mall door. I bit his hand and started to scream, and if it weren’t for a random stranger seeing me screaming as he was carrying me out the mall door, I really don’t know what would have happened. And that still haunts me. The man was never caught.

My worst kiss involved having the guy throw up mid kiss. Yup, someone else’s vomit in my mouth.

I’m very mean to myself. Every insecurity that I have come to light as a means to pick myself apart. I don’t want to be insecure, but I am. When people critique me, judge me or make fun of me, I wish they knew hat it’ll never be as bad as what I do to myself.

I started a youtube channel once. My first video got 300 views in the first couple of days being up and I got nervous of people judging me so I took it down.

I once had a side-hustle taking exams for other people.

My parents are racist. They say they’re not. But… the things they say, the actions they have, it shows in their character. And I get worried when I take them places they’re going to say something to someone of another race that cannot be forgotten, nor forgiven and that will get held against my character as well.

Sometimes I feel like I was born into the wrong family. I find myself wishing that I was adopted because then it might make more sense as to why I am the way that I am and why I have such a hard time ‘fitting in’ with this family. Then I feel bad for not being thankful for the family that I have. But I can’t help but shake this feeling that I don’t belong.

I have cried my way out of three speeding tickets.

What are your confessions? Things you don’t tell people. Things you won’t tell people. Things you’re afraid of getting out.