I'm sick and tired.

I have an ear infection, sinus infection and throat infection. I seem to have contracted the trifecta of misery after spending two full weeks trying to look after the sick people in this house.

I’m hungry. All of the food is upstairs and I just don’t have the physical energy to even climb the stairs. I’m cold, my body is physically aching and I’m seriously contemplating becoming one with the grizzly bears and spending my winters hibernating from now on.

Why does it feel like my immune system is so much weaker than everyone else?

This is the type of weather we’ve had the past few days around here:

For those of you who are American and might not understand Celsius, -36 Celsius is the equivalent of -32 Fahrenheit. That’s how cold it is. It’s hard to go outside for any length of time when it’s this cold and you’re healthy, nevermind when you’re sick.

January is kicking my ass. Seriously. Okay, I’m done whining now.

Joyeux Noël

May the spirit of holiday last for more than just one day,
Because loving, sharing and giving, you should never put away.
While you may pack the decorations and put them on a shelf,
Remember the good you do for others is the good you do yourself.
So practice kindness during the holiday and all the year through,
Show your loved ones they’re important, that they matter deeply to you.

Whether you’re celebrating or not, I am wishing the happiest of holidays to you and yours. May this time of year be a reminder of all of the good in this world, and where there’s room to grow because the world always needs more of it.

XOXO,
Vee

P.S. I asked Santa for a new job for Christmas. Do you think he can pull some strings?

The Holidays either bring out the worst or the best in people.

I’ve spent the majority of today helping my mother finish some errands that she needed to get done ahead of Christmas.

After being met with ‘Fuck you, bitch’ and ‘Get out of my way, idiot’ in store, being cut off in traffic and having people flash me the middle finger while driving, having someone berate me because they didn’t like my park job, I was tired. So tired. I didn’t want to be out anymore. Grumpy people are exhausting on regular days, but when there’s so very many of them out this time of year, it’s exhausting to try and deal with.

My mother and I went into Winners for the last stop of the day and she wanted to get one pair of sweatpants for each of her sons. (She does it every year) I was just excited that it was the last stop of the day.

With four items in tow, we approached the till and it was quite a long line with only one physical till open.The woman who walked up behind us appeared to only be purchasing a coffee mug and she had a toddler who was begging her to go and whining that they didn’t want to be in the store anymore.

My mom offered that she go in front of us because, while it wasn’t a big difference in time, it was just that much faster. The woman said thank you, went in front and then she asked my mom who she was buying for. My mom told her she has four sons and she buys them one nice pair of sweatpants every year instead of pajamas. They went on to chat for a couple of minutes while they waited for their turns in line at the till and I just stood there awkwardly left out of their conversation just lurking.

When we got up to the till the cashier scanned through each pair of the pants, she pushes a couple of buttons on the till and then says ‘I owe you $14.90’.

What?

My mom and I were both incredibly confused.

The cashier said ‘The woman in line in front of you gave me a $100 bill and asked that I use it to pay for your clothing, give you any change that is left over, and wish you a merry Christmas… so, MERRY CHRISTMAS!’ she said.

Wow.

It was such a shock and a huge deal for my mom. She’s basically been budgeting since August for Christmas and the woman in line in front of us paid for our gifts out of goodness and kindness and sheer shock! She didn’t stick around to see the look on my mom’s face or anything. We couldn’t even say thank you. By the time we learned the woman in front of us had paid for my mom’s gifts, she’d long since gone.

Today’s been such a weird day. I was totally hating on humanity for all of the ugly behaviour I saw this morning and afternoon at our various stops of the day, and then this woman comes along and pays for Christmas gifts for my mom ‘just because’ and totally turns my whole mood for the day around.

To the kindest of strangers, thank you. Just being able to keep that extra $100 in her bank account, for my mom this time of year, means a great deal to her. I wish I could have stopped and thanked you in person.

Worries and such.

I had a dizzy spell yesterday. I lost peripheral vision for a short period and it was so bad that I was too scared to drive anywhere. I didn’t want to worry anyone so I told my family that I was going to call my best friend so that they wouldn’t bug me while they thought I was on the phone and I ended up staying in bed for several hours because of it. I actually fell down the stairs as I was heading to my room, which really scared me. My anxious mind wandered a lot of places and my rational mind told me I should just sleep it off.

I fell down the seedy dark corners of trying to diagnose myself using google and found nothing good.

The one good thing I did find is that you can get blurred peripheral vision from severe sinus pressure and head pressure. I’ve been battling a nasty sinus infection and, because if it, woke up with a pretty horrendous headache yesterday.

I’m chalking it up to that, for now.

It went away after I laid in the dark for a while.

I do not need to diagnose myself on google anymore. If anything else happens, a doctor can tell me what’s wrong with me.

Anyone has the power and possibility to do anything that they set their mind to.

Yes, read that again. Because it’s true.

At 12 years old I was listening to a presentation from (now former) NBA player Steve Nash. Nash said ‘Raise your hands if you want to be Prime Minister of Canada one day’. Only a couple of kids in the room raised their hands. Nash then said ‘Raise your hand if you think you’re going to be Prime Minister of Canada one day’. Only one girl, a girl named Rachel, kept her hand up. Nash then said ‘Rachel is the only person in this room who will be Prime Minister one day’. A few of the boys in this room took aim at this statement and responded with ‘No she can’t because she’s a girl’.

The two things Steve Nash said next have stayed with me ever since.

Firstly, he looked at those boys who took aim with the idea of a female Prime Minister and said ‘My hope for you is that as you move into your teenage and adult years you adopt a way of thinking that measures a person’s value on who they are, not what they are. A person’s gender matters not to whether or not they are capable of a job, any job, and your discounting Rachel based off the fact that she’s a girl is a disservice to all women and girls around the world. You are not superior simply because you were born male. Please remember that’.

Secondly, he said ‘The only person in this room who can be Prime Minister one day is Rachel. I say this because she’s the only person who wants to be and she’s the only person who thinks she can be.’ He went on to say ‘The only limitations you have in this world are the ones you put on yourself’. If these boys over here don’t think she can do it, are they going to stop her? No. If Rachel wants it bad enough, she’s going to make it happen regardless of who says what to her. If Rachel doesn’t put a limitation on becoming Prime Minister, I see no reason why she cannot grow up to be just that’.

‘The only limitations you have in this world are the ones you put on yourself.’

Anyone has the power and possibility to do anything that they set their mind to, so long as they’re willing to work for it. So I guess the question is, if you’re not willing to work for it, do you really want it?

Also, it’s important to stop passing on the notion that people are less valuable to our society because of their gender, age, ability/disability, skills, intelligence or anything else that people use as a means to discredit or undervalue someone. Even at twelve years old the boys in my class had already had it ingrained in their minds that women couldn’t do what men could do. We need to remind ourselves, our friends, our family, that a person’s worth to this world is not measured by statistics. It’s not measured by the things we cannot control.

If Rick Hansen can wheel over 40,000 kms through 34 countries on his own, in a wheelchair and Terry Fox can run 5,300 kms on one leg, if Susan Wojcicki can be the CEO of Youtube, if Ruth Bader Ginsburg can still be sitting on the Supreme Court at 86 after beating cancer several times, and people all over the world can defy the odds (the odds we put on ourselves no less) then the future really has limitless possibility.

Remember that next time you judge someone based on their appearance, their gender, their age, or any other reason you think is an excuse to devalue the potential someone brings to this world.