I don’t know how it went

I had my job interview today.

At first, I thought that he really liked me. I thought he was really impressed. At first, all was going great.

The way it ended, though…

I hate it in job interviews when they ask how much money you want. You always wonder if you’re trying to get more money then you should be. Or if you’re low-balling yourself and they can offer you way more but they don’t have to now that you’ve low-balled yourself.

He genuinely said I left such an impression on him that he’s been thinking about it for two months.

So… why did he leave when I told him how much money I’d expect?

It started so well. It started so, so well. Now I don’t know what to think and I’m probably going to overthink it all weekend long. And probably for the rest of my life, because he doesn’t want me for the role. I’m talking myself out of it, peeps. I’m talking myself out of it.

I suck.

He doesn’t want me on his team.

That’s life.

I am not a good person for the squad.

I suck.

It’s better if I just admit to that now, right?

To state the obvious

Lots going on in the world right now. I am entranced with the Pandora papers and will likely spend my entire Thanksgiving weekend reviewing that. But, I wanted to point out an obvious takeaway from yesterday. Instagram, Facebook and Whatsapp were all down for just over eight hours.

While I was getting really annoyed about how everyone and their dog was seemingly complaining about not having access to Instagram, I thought to myself, ‘this seems so much worse to people because of the trend that so many people use Instagram, and solely Instagram, for promotion of their business’.

So, my advice to the world, if you weren’t already doing such, DIVERSIFY.

Don’t put all your stupid eggs into the Instagram basket.

Don’t rely solely on an Instgram feed to promote yourself, or your book, MLM, art, fashion, photography or whatever else it is you share online. Why? Because when Instagram goes down, IT GOES DOWN.

The Communications directors for Facebook/Instagram actually had to take to Twitter to announce the outage and that it was being worked on. Yeah, how bout them apples?

An amazing website is a great resource you can give yourself. But beyond that, it’s always a smart idea to diversify your social media portfolio if you’re a creative sharing your work, or running a main business/side hustle. When something goes down, and it will go down, you’re not losing an entire’s day worth of promotion. And you’re definitely not losing out on potential revenue.

To state the obvious, a business should never exist solely on Instagram. Or on any single platform.

Oh, also, if you rely on Whatsapp to communicate necessary messaging to someone (yesterday there was a teacher on the news who was complaining that she couldn’t communicate with students), you should always have a backup plan. Again, you should never be reliant on one platform for a means of communicating. It’s not really that hard for a teacher to have had email addresses collected and send out a BCC listed note. Did she have the critical thinking skills necessary to collect email addresses? Guess not, considering how much she was bitching last night.

I need a new computer

Guys, I’m in desperate need of a new computer.

I continue to be approached by people looking to hire me for consulting work and my current setup just isn’t cutting it.

The computer that I’m typing this message on is from 2013. It’s a Lenovo, and it’s a beast. I love it dearly, but it’s getting to that point in a computer’s life in which it cannot function properly anymore. It doesn’t deal well with bluetooth, or two factor authentication, etc…

I have a computer that I have been trying to use for design work, but it’s not powerful enough. I need a bigger hard drive, I need more processing power. I need more from it.

I don’t want to spend obscene amounts of money on a computer. But also, if I did buy a real quality computer that I could use for eight years, like I’ve used this one, I could probably make my money back ten-fold.

Ugh.

It’s so hard.

I don’t know what computer to buy.

I also don’t wan to spend this much money on a computer so close to Christmas.

Tips? Suggestions?

Thank you

Thursday Thoughts & Social Media Tidbits

You know that feeling when you want to buy something but you don’t have any money? That’s me. I don’t even want anything too elaborate. I just want things. I definitely don’t need those things. It’s just frustrating when you want something and you cannot have it. Though, now that I’m typing this, I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of adulthood.

I’m presently looking at a job description for a position at Google. Do I think I’m good enough for the job? Hell yeah. Do I think that I have a chance at my resume even being read when it comes to a position for Google? I mean… I might have a better chance at winning the lottery. Part of me wants to apply anyway. I probably won’t apply, though. My self-confidence is bordering manic these days. Some days I’m great, and some days I really have to pick myself up off the floor just to get through the day. I think that comes with the instability that is life right now.

If you don’t care about social media growth, stop reading.

SOCIAL MEDIA TIDBITS

For those who haven’t figured this out yet – those people on Twitter who are consistently asking open ended questions on popular, or potentially divisive topics, or even downright stupid topics at times, they don’t care what your answers are. They really don’t. They couldn’t care less. If they asked “what’s your favourite food” and you responded with “motor oil” then the entire point of posting the question to start with has worked for them.

Twitter is not chronological. Twitter uses an algorithm to showcase your feed as a curated picture of all the accounts you’ve most recently reacted with, or most frequently reacted with. If you’ve ever wondered why you don’t see someone on your feed, it’s probably because you never bothered to interact with their Tweets.

The same can actually be said for Instagram as well. Though I’m sure their algorithms are written differently, they booth seek to serve the same purpose – they want to have the people you interact with most to appear closes to the top, or the beginning of your feed.

Where this is most applicable on Instagram is in two places:

  • On Instagram stories, there are people who post questions on their Instagram stories every single day. They’re Yes/No poll, or “Tell me a Secret, I won’t tell anyone” questions. It’s generic, stupid bullshit, and the entire purpose of it is to get you to interact with their story. As soon as you interact with their story, their story is going to appear at the front of the collections when you sign into your Instagram App each day.
  • On the Instagram feed, there are people who say “Comment down below [Insert Stupid Question/Comment/Subject here]” on every post. I’ve seen ‘Comment your favourite colour’ or ‘Do you pour the cereal before the milk?’ or ‘Tell me how to get organized’. Those people don’t give a fuck about what you could, or might respond with. They just want you to respond. When you respond, their feed posts will be closer to the top of the page, every time you sign onto the app.

Okay, this might possibly be an eye-opening moment. You’re thinking now about all of the people on your Instagram and Twitter feeds who ask questions constantly and you’re suddenly realizing what their game plan is!

You’ll notice this a lot with influencers, if you follow any. Other people who are specifically taught to do this are those who are a part of MLMs like BeachBody, Mary Kay, Arbonne, etc. But, lately, it has become big with coaches, therapists and anyone who’s really trying to start a small business or sell something, or people who just really like attention.

However it is being delivered to you, I hope that after reading this, if you didn’t before, you now understand there’s always an ulterior motive.

The algorithm is the ulterior motive.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I love social media because it’s one of the easiest ways to showcase a diverse collection of people, places, things, culture, and more. I hate social media because the people who excel in the algorithm are the least cultured, least original, least interesting of the group. 95% of these platforms are just people copying one another. The algorithm favours trends, and conventionally attractive people.

People think that Carlie Damilio is the most interested member of gen z right now, but the truth is, there’s likely 100 million other females just like her. I’m serious – they look like her, they dance like her, they talk like her, they probably walk like her. She caught an algorithm at the right moment in time, and now she’s taking advantage. She’s not special. And I don’t mean that in a disparaging way, I just mean that she’s really not original. She makes millions upon millions of dollars because she purchases virtual dance trends to Tik Tok.

I imagine it is something she’s aware of. I imagine it is something that everyone who’s hit bit in the algorithm is aware of at this point. They’re just taking advantage of their fifteen minutes while it lasts. Because there is nothing sustainable about a career based solely on social media. Instagram in the past 6 months has changed more than it did in it’s first four years of existence.

I kind of want to talk about what an epic failure ClubHouse has become, but that might need to be another story for another day. It had so much promise and they just fucked it up, royally. The fact that some people reading this are asking what ClubHouse is, that’s exactly the point as to had badly they screwed up.

Social media has to be one tool of many. Whether you’re running a business account or you’re just posting photos for fun, whether you’re a writer trying to get noticed, or someone who just likes to rant about politics (me!), social media cannot be your only outlet.

If you’re reading this because you have a blog, make sure you update that blog regularly. Your blog can and will be a far greater resource then anything you could garner on any social media platform.

My favourite platforms on the web:

  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • WordPress

LinkedIn promotes based off what people enjoy/appreciate, not specific to you. Pinterest promotes on what people enjoy/appreciate, not specific to you. On both I find there’s a much more diverse inclusion of content displayed and made popular. It’s very easy to create an echo chamber of voices that think like you, talk like you and agree with you on Twitter and Instagram, and that really isn’t the case on LinkedIn and Pinterest.

As for WordPress, I just think it’s a simple, intuitive platform for the hobby bloggers, and it also an affordable, customizable platform for all of the serious bloggers, and everyone in between. It was a platform built with everyone in mind, if that makes sense.

I’m rambling a lot.

There’s a really expensive pair of pants that I want to purchase. I don’t need them, but I want them. Should I do it? I don’t think I should. I’ve never spent that much on a pair of pants before. (I bet you didn’t expect this post to end with me talking about expensive pants)

Virtual Education

So, I have been taking a class for several weeks now (I don’t even remember how many) that was supposed to be a one off, but has since snowballed into what I think is quickly becoming a full business program.

This is not important to the story, but my boss wanted me to take it. Since work is paying for part of it, I obliged. It wouldn’t have been my first choice to take, but I won’t say no to education!

So, the first professor was/is great. He understands my work schedule, he understands the stresses of being in school in general, without the full-time job tied to it. He’s just… chill. He’s my kind of a professor.

The second professor, she’s cynical as all hell. She’s giving me major flashbacks to those entry level courses everyone was required to take in first year of university. (Yes, I know that sentence alone showcases a lot of privilege) She’s questioning everyone. She doesn’t care about stressses of being a student. She doesn’t care about people who are also working. She doesn’t seem to care about anything beyond her rules.

The second professor, she has a rule that we’re required to have our webcams on the entire class. The problem is, she records these sessions. She’s recording them and she’s not giving them out to people to look back on. So she’s recording them and keeping them… for something? Who knows. Who cares what she keeps it for.

I DO NOT like being recorded.

It’s a thing for me. I worked in PR too long, I know the nefarious things that have happened with recordings. I have, myself, been responsible for burying recordings of people. I have, myself, been responsible for turning over recordings of someone for a criminal investigation. I don’t like recordings of me existing. I’ve seen too much of how the sausage is made, and I just… am not for it.

What if I wanted to become a spy? I basically would need to wipe my existence. I can do that if some professor has all these recordings of me.

What if I wanted to become a criminal? I don’t need her turning over videos of me that people could use to study my behaviour.

What if I just really don’t like being recorded? Why can’t she just… tell me I can turn my webcam off?

It really doesn’t matter why. If I don’t want to listen to her lectures with my webcam on, I really shouldn’t have to. It’s not like I’m taking an exam. I’d understand if they waned to see me to ensure I wasn’t cheating. It’s a lecture/discussion class. My mic and webcam don’t need to work in sync. I can use my mic without the webcam.

If I do end up taking all of these courses, I’ll probably run into this more and more. I know I need to chill and just go along with her rules. I just… think her rules are stupid. You should not be required to be recorded in order to complete a course.

Work Opinions

My boss and I are butting heads this week.

She thinks that nice compliments are enough to keep me around.

I want a raise.

I don’t go to work in hope of nice compliments.

People in my city, working in my position at other companies are making $10,000 – $20,000 more than I am. The only reason I am not is because I haven’t found the right position yet.

Am I greedy? No. I know what my time is worth. If I wanted compliments and unwavering praise, I’d probably ask my nieces and nephews. I go to work to make money. Sorry to anyone who believes the naive notion that we all just do what we love and the pay is an added bonus. Here in reality, the pay is the priority and the added bonus is that I don’t completely hate my life while doing it.

I work to make money. I want to pay my bills. I want to hopefully travel again, eventually. I want to move. I want to buy a new computer (because this one is on the fritz). All of these things get accomplished by my working.

Compliments, while nice, are kind of just empty words if you’re not backing it up.

If you, as a boss, have enough money to spend $30,000 on a new “OPTIONAL” piece of software for your sales team, then you have enough money to pay your employees what they’re worth, you’re just choosing to not. And… if you’re choosing to not provide a raise, and instead opt for nice compliments, then those compliments are a tad hollow.

I know how much revenue that I, alone, generate for this company.

Am I entitled to a raise? No. No employees are, if the boss doesn’t want to provide it. That being said, if she truly believed even half of the words she’s said to me recently, then show me the money. I know that makes me sound cold, but I don’t care. I know what I’m worth, and it’s a lot more than empty praise.

Paraphrasing our Wednesday meeting

Me: People don’t use Bing.

Consultant from Georgia: Software developers use Bing.

Me: Hey, software developers in this meeting, how many of you use Bing?

*Crickets*

Consultant from Georgia: Okay, but your company is the exception, not the rule.

Me: People don’t use Bing.

Consultant from Georgia: You’re wrong.

Me: More then 80 percent of the internet uses Google. Please don’t waste our time with Bing.

Consultant from Georgia: Software developers use Bing.

Me: Read the room.

Consultant from Georgia: I’ll show you.

*Consultant from Georgia shares screen with the entire meeting, pulls up Google to search for Bing.*

*Developers try to hold back from laughing.*

Me: I think we’re finished here. Thanks for your time this morning. We’ll be in touch later this week.

Meeting draws to a close so that I don’t say anything too snarky or mean.

*Consultant from Georgia proceeds to send our entire staff from stats as to how many people search for software on Bing. Also says, without statistics, that the most popular search engine in ‘The South’ is Bing.

So, you know, that was a fun hour.


I utterly despise when people cannot hear the word no. It’s like he could’ve said 2+2=5 and if I said ‘No’, he’d start to argue with me. He’s that type of person.

Actual steam was coming out of my head this morning when I ended the meeting as a measure to ensure that it stayed professional and I didn’t become mean and he proceeded to email the entire staff to tell us (mainly being directed at me) why ignoring Bing is the wrong answer.

Firstly, PEOPLE DON’T USE BING.

Second, If I’m wrong, then let me be wrong. If there are 300 million American’s who use Bing, who fucking cares? I said I wasn’t investing money into Bing. That should literally be the end of the discussion. You want to tell me once? Sure, I’ll hear you out. You want to tell me four more times, one of which is in front of our team of Developers, and then send a mass email out to all of our staff in three different countries about why I’m wrong? No way, Jose (his name isn’t Jose, it’s just a saying). That’s not going to fly with me.

Last, but certainly not least, don’t waste my time.

I need to write a new resume.

I really don’t think that my current resume makes me sound as good as I am. It’s hard because everyone seems to have different opinions on what makes, or breaks, a resume.

I need to write a new resume.

I need to write a new cover letter.

Well, technically the cover letter gets changed with a job that I decide to apply for. But, I’d love to be able to write a base-letter that I’m proud of, that I can make small adjustments to when needed.

I need to up my game.

I don’t want to be stagnant in life. I want to be the best.

I want to be ready for the right position when the right position comes along.

I need a new resume. If I can negotiate six figure deals with foreign governments, I need my resume to reflect that… without breaking confidentiality. (Because if I read a vague statement like that on someone else’s resume, I probably wouldn’t believe it)

I’m definitely not quitting my job. I just… I just need to have something ready for when opportunity presents itself. Opportunity has been whispering lately and I want to be ready if something comes.

Right now, my resume likely makes me sound average at best.