Things that annoy the fuck out of me.

It’s been am interesting night… and rather than use my anger in an unproductive way, causing a raucous and wreaking destruction in my path, I thought I’d rather do something like this. So, here we go:

  • Toxic Masculinity
  • People who deflect because they lack the character to answer a question and admit they did wrong.
  • When you’re parked nowhere near the door of the building your headed into, there’s an entire empty parking lot around you and someone pulls into the parking spot right next to you.
  • When people pronounce it “aks” instead of “ask”
  • People who don’t use signal lights to turn when they’re driving. If you’re not going to use them then what the fuck were they invented for?
  • The fact that walking into the grocery store causes 99% of the population to completely lose any and all self-awareness they have. Carts parked in the middle of the aisle? Stopping in a crowded space to stand right in the way so you can send a text message? Coughing all over the produce section? COME ON…
  • When “people can dish it out but can’t take it”. I’m not sure if everyone uses this phrase or if it’s just my corner of the world – but it just means… if you’re going to criticize someone, you should be willing and able to accept criticism in return. And if you can’t, well that’s fucking annoying.
  • When people lick their fingers. Gross… Just eww. The likelihood of your hands being clean when you do this?? Not good. The likelihood of you not caring? Pretty good. I think that’s why I find it so gross.
  • People who have to turn every conversation into something about them. I know everyone has someone like this in their life… that person who, no matter what is being talked about, or who, they always change the conversation to be about them.
  • People who don’t understand personal space. This one really gets to me. I really don’t want you so close to me that I can feel yo breathing on my neck while we wait in line at the bank…
  • Movies with giant plot holes. It’s one of the reasons why I watch such few movies. As soon as I make it far enough into a movie to see a massive plot hole, I get bored and move onto something else.
  • People who rush to get on airplanes. Honestly, what’s the rush? If you’re standing in line, this sky tin ain’t gonna leave with you standing here. Why do you have to be first on the plane?
  • When people say ‘Let’s do coffee!’ This has become the most transparent phrase for not giving a fuck about someone but trying to sound polite. We know it’s fake. We know you don’t want to go for coffee. Just don’t bother saying it.
  • People who refuse to keep up with the changing world we live in. Evolve, dammit. Just because it was one way once doesn’t mean it has to be that way forever.
  • People who deliberately spread misinformation on the internet or television.
  • Companies, or anyone, who throw fake Instagram giveaways to promote their Instagram but don’t actually ever give the winners the prize.
  • People who post E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G about themselves and their lives on YouTube and then, when something happens say ‘I don’t owe you guys anything, butt out of my life!’
  • The fact that it’s 2019 and racism is still alive and well.
  • People who always try to play the victim. No. Sometimes you get to be the shitty person.
  • People who don’t like me and use that as a reason to be mean to me. I understand that I’m not going to be liked by everyone in life, so why don’t you just move along? Stop wasting your breath…

Things that annoy me.

The fact that you cannot get an actual human being on the phone when you call a business in this day and age. Firstly, answering machines that say “Click 1 for —” and “Click 2 for —” are not helpful. They are not more productive than an actual human being answering the phone and they are not an adequate replacement for a human being answering the phone. Secondly, waiting on hold for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30+ minutes to speak with an actual human being is ridiculous. It’s annoying that this is considered acceptable customer service in 2019. “Then don’t phone them!” I’ve heard some say. Well, if I had the option of not phoning them, I probably wouldn’t be here waiting on hold for 30 minutes…

When someone phones you, doesn’t leave a voicemail and then immediately sends you a text message that says ‘call me’. You couldn’t leave me a voicemail? You couldn’t text me the message you want to talk about? If I didn’t answer the phone it’s because I’m clearly not able too. If you need me for something, leave me a message as to what it is.

Youtube ‘Influencers’ that don’t acknowledge they’re clearly being sponsored for their videos/posts. Regulations and law surrounding sponsorships/partnerships were put into place in the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom and many other countries for a reason – that reason being these ‘Influencers’ have a great deal of sway on how the people who watch their videos spend their money. So it drives me batty when I see someone who makes youtube videos clearly pushing something they’re being paid to push and not telling their audience that. There are a lot of naive people in this world and I don’t want them being taken advantage of because this youtuber is too important to follow the law. If you’re being paid to push it, you should be transparent about that.

When companies send the same generic “Thanks but we’ve selected someone with more qualifications than you” email to everyone. If a candidate jumps through all of the hoops of applying for a position with you, respect that. This often isn’t a quick process. This is filling out every form, answering all of your stupid ‘what would you bring to an office game night’ questions, providing references, taking part in pre-interview tasks, doing phone interviews, Skype interviews, and so on and so forth. It can often take 30 minutes for one single application. It’s annoying as heck that the best a company can give in return is a generic, computer generated email to let you know they haven’t given you the time of day and don’t intend to.

Mosquitoes. Seriously, it’s summer in Canada and these suckers are everywhere. And when I say suckers, I mean suckers. A bug that sucks your blood? How twisted is that. Then you’re left with this annoying bug bite that itches for weeks to follow. Or, if you’re lucky enough that you can swat and kill it you’re left wondering what poor sucker’s blood is now smeared all over your hand. Yeah, it’s that gross.

Washing dishes by hand. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, life is far too short to wash dishes by hand. That’s quite literally what they invented dishwashers for. If it can’t be washed in the dishwasher, it’s not a dish that I want to own.

When the traffic light turns yellow and 6-7 cars continue to speed through the intersection. Seriously, when did we become a world in which the biggest inconvenience in our day is having to wait an extra three minutes for the traffic light to change in our favour again?

Dear Autocorrect, I NEVER mean ‘Ducking’. Never. Never, never ever.

This list is mainly supposed to be satirical, but also with a hint of serious nature to it. I could go on and on with these things, but I’ll keep it to this, for now. I love hearing about things that annoy people and I love finding common annoyances with people.

Applying for jobs is a frustrating process.

I miss the days when you could walk into a place of employment and ask for an application. The wonderful soul working there would hand you a piece of paper and you could fill it out. That’s it, that’s all. And then, your ability to get an interview was measured based off what was listed on your application.

Those were the good ole days.

Yesterday I spent one hour and fourteen minutes submitting an application for ONE PLACE. ONE PLACE. They had my resume and cover letter submitted through LinkedIn. Once that was submitted I was sent an email exclaiming that I needed to “apply” and that those who applied had a 60% higher chance of getting an interview.

I thought that I had applied – silly me.

Nevertheless, I bit the bullet, clicked the link and started to ‘apply’. What followed was more than thirty minutes of every question that could, and should, actually be asked during a job interview. What would you bring to our team culture? If we have a staff game night, what game are you bringing? What is your biggest weakeness? And on, and on, and on.

This got me thinking… if you’re asking these questions to candidates during the application process, what do you actually ask during a job interview? Or do you even host an interview? Maybe you just make candidates jump through so many hoops that whoever is left standing at the end, you think ‘yeah, they put up with all that shit, we better hire them’.

Following the thirty minutes of job interview questions that I had to fill out, I thought ‘I’m done. Thank goodness’. I went on to researching more positions I’m qualified for and just a few short minutes later heard my phone beep with the email noise.

It was this company, again.

‘Please complete the pre-interview cognitive assessment test’, the email read. ‘Candidates who complete this test prove they’re intelligence and ability to work and therefore have advantages over candidates who don’t complete this assessment.’

Well, shit. I don’t want to have gotten this far into it and not completed the application now. So, I caved… clicked the link and started the test.

What I got was thirty minutes of infuriating math and pattern questions that have nothing to do with marketing, communications or public relations. My ability to determine what symbol comes next after a row of 20 symbols, that’s going to make me a better public relations specialist? My ability to remember the ‘FOIL’ technique to do timed math equations, that is going to make me a better marketer?

I don’t understand this company. I don’t. An ability to answer math questions or complete pattern recognition does not measure my culpability in an office environment. It does not tell you if I can write press releases, it does not explain whether or not I can handle stress. It tells you that I paid attention in math class when I was in school.

Job hunting is infuriating. When did it get this why? Why did it get this way? What is the point of even having a resume and cover letter anymore if all that really matters is how well you can jump through these hoops for a potential employer? What is my actual education and experience worth right now if pattern recognition is what makes me a beneficial employee to an organization?

I’m ranting. I know that. I know that I just need to suck it up and deal with it. I swear though, I swear right now that if I ever become a hiring manager or have a role that involves being a part of the hiring process in an organization EVER, I will make it simple. It will be basic. We will measure candidates for their qualifications and their education and we will be efficient. I’m not going to waste the time of job hunters. That pisses me off. I will do it better.

Okay, I better go back to my job hunting now. Crossing my fingers that it’s a little less infuriating today.

Side note – is instagram down right now? I can’t get on mine at all today. Or perhaps, maybe my account got blacklisted? I don’t know.

Okay, bye.