On ‘being a good person’.

Of all the things he hasn’t accomplished in his presidency, Donald Trump has most definitely been successful in emboldening hatred, bigotry and misogyny around the world. In my mind, he is the prime and shining example of school-yard bullying at the highest powers of society and the fact that he’s so well known has, in some way, given a voice hatred spewers world-wide.

If you like Donald Trump and you think he’s a good president, that’s your opinion and you’re allowed to believe that. I don’t like him. I don’t like what he stands for. I don’t like what he represents, and most of all, I really don’t like that he’s made it acceptable in 2019 to be a horrible person and have it be socially acceptable.

I don’t want to go backwards. I don’t.

The world that my mom and dad grew up in, the world that my grandparents grew up in, it had a lot of problems. There were a lot of things going on that I thought we’d already passed and left behind us. I’m not saying we don’t have our own problems now, I’m just saying that we shouldn’t be revisiting the past.

Hate is not okay. Bullying is not okay. Bigotry is not okay. Misogyny is not okay. Sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, all not okay.

I know that it was naive of me to assume to, but I liked to think that all children in this world are raised with manners, and taught tolerance, acceptance and respect. Sadly, 2019 has been teaching me that that is really not the case.

The thing is, no one is born evil. No one is born to hate. That’s why I think it’s so important to teach people when they’re children. Trying to teach adults is a whole different ball game. That being said, it saddens me that so many people in this world are raised being taught to hate and bully.

I consider myself to be a good person. Or at least I try to be. I’m nice to everyone I meet, I use my manners – hold open doors, etc… I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, whether their opinions agree with mine or not. I just wish that everyone would try to do the same, to be the same.

What do you get out of bullying someone? Honestly. What do you get out of treating someone as though they’re less than you? Does it make one happy? I can’t imagine that it makes someone fulfilled. Donald Trump (sorry to use him as an example again, but really) doesn’t seem all that happy, or fulfilled. And, considering I question whether or not he actually has any money, he doesn’t seem like he has much of anything beyond a lot of hatred.

I just want to encourage everyone to be nice. Just be nice. Treat your friends well, treat strangers with kindness. Have hope for the people you don’t know and have understanding for the people you do know. Try to understand the human condition and that we all have good and we all suffer from time to time – some a lot worse than others. Just because we don’t know what someone is going through doesn’t mean that we cannot help.

Kindness is so important. Manners cost nothing. Be a good person. Please.

Of all the legacies you can leave in this world, please try to be a good person. That might be the most important of all.

9 struggles that come with being a girl.

While I’m very serious about each of these opinions, I’ve taken a more light-hearted/sarcastic tone with explanations. I realize they’re absolutely my own opinions and that, for the most part, they’re very much first world problems. It’s just meant to be more of a light-hearted laugh. Hopefully I’m not the only one who can relate to these things.

#GirlPower

  1. Getting cat called. Seriously, in no way, shape or form does this ever feel good. If anything, it makes you feel cheap… and very insecure. At least it does for me.
  2. Why does everything for girls need to be pink? Honestly. It’s as though male specific products got every colour under the spectrum, but then it comes to female specific products and it’s pink. It’s always pink. As girls are we just supposed to only like the colour pink?
  3. People assuming you know nothing about sports because you’re a girl. Because why would we know anything about sports? All we’re supposed to care about is lipgloss and high heels, right?
  4. When you’re not allowed to legitimately be angry, with people passing it off as ‘You’re just PMSing’. No, you’re just being an asshole and pissing me off. Furthermore, PMS does not make me angry. I know because I’ve been experiencing it 12 times a year for nearly two decades.
  5. “When are you having kids?” This is specifically one for when you reach adulthood. Oh, and don’t forget about how much more awful it gets being asked this question when you have a boyfriend or significant other. It’s as though as soon as you reach a certain age being female, you’re of ‘breeding age’ and everyone is expecting you to have kids. What if I want to establish my career? What if I don’t want kids at all?
  6. Good hair days never last long enough and bad hair days are always too frequent. It’s true. On the days when I feel as though my hair is actually cooperating with me, I figure it’ll last for 3-5 hours… tops. And every other day of the week I rock that ‘just out of bed’ look and that’s the best it gets.
  7. Bra sizes are never the same. NEVER. Sizes differ from store to store and even from bra to bra. You can purchase two bras that are the exact same size in the same store and one will fit and one won’t. Come to think of it, this is really true about all clothing in general. Last week I bought two pair of jeans from Old Navy that were the same size – one pair fit like a glove and the other I couldn’t get over my hips.
  8. Listening and singing along to a really badass song on the radio and then it gets to the point where there are exceptionally degrading comments about girls. You thought it was such a good song and now you’re questioning your choices and why you would like something that profits of the degrading of your gender.
  9. The struggles that come with washing your hair. Because washing your hair means that you need to dry your hair and then do your hair because you have to at least try and then you’ve lost several hours of your day so you start trying to last longer between hair washings.

Day 50: If someone tears you down, that’s a reflection of them and not you.

Honestly, my thoughts make a lot more sense inside my head then on the page in front of me. Nevertheless, here I go:

It’s funny, you know… putting your faith in someone. You work so hard to keep the walls up for so long and someone waltzes into your life convincing you to let your guard down. And they abuse that. And they abuse the trust you put in them.  That’s how it always happens, right? And instead of finding yourself back at square, it’s almost as though you’ve reverted back to step negative four. You’re worse off than before and that’s just how it goes.

I truly believe that there are people in this world who will opt to believe you’re a bad person in order to shed the guilt they feel for how they treat you.

‘If someone tears you down, that’s a reflection on them, not you.’

I have to keep telling myself this. And truthfully, it’s not easy task convincing myself. But, it’s a really good reminder, every day. Good people don’t tear other people down. Good people don’t convince you to trust them and then fuck that up. (Excuse my language)

It’s easy to think that you’re the problem. It’s extremely easy for me to think that I am the cause, that this is my fault and that I deserve the poor behaviour, language and attitude being sent my direction.

I deserve more. Good people do not tear others down. I deserve good people in my life and so do you. Don’t ever settle for anything less than what you know you deserve.

You’re not the problem. They are. If they screw with your trust, don’t give it back to them.

Okay, I think I’m done for now. I might add more to this later, but right now that’s where my head is at.

Things I wish I knew when I was 22

  1. It’s not the end of the world. Yes, things sucked. Debt is not fun. Having shitty people in your life is also not fun. Realizing that the bull shit you thought you were going to be done with when you finally find your place in this world is a fact of life. But, at the end of the day, you’re still going to wake up tomorrow and put one foot in front of the other. Move on, don’t forget, just look past it.
  2. DON’T EVER SETTLE. The moment you do, you’ll end up with so much less than you ever settled for. You are important. Yes You. And don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. If you want to run a marathon – instead of listening to someone tell you why you can’t, put your running shoes on and get to training. If you want to be a doctor, you better be willing to study. If you’re going to be President, you better want to be president. Barack Obama didn’t just wake up in the Whitehouse. How many people told him it was never going to happen? He didn’t give a damn and neither should you.
  3. Just because you don’t talk to them for long periods of time, doesn’t mean they’re any less of a friend. Shit, life happens. You know that better than anyone, so don’t go holding it against the people in your life when they get busy.
  4. If you let the bad stuff matter more, you’ll never be happy. Heartbreak and loss, destructive insecurities… they’re the inevitable facts of life that catch up with everyone eventually. When you don’t have a reason to be happy, give yourself a reason to be happy. Just as much as you want to be happy, the people in your life want you to be happy too. So go get a pedicure, walk in the rain, buy a puppy… whether the reason small or large, give yourself a reason to smile. You deserve it.
  5. Remember to laugh. Remember to cry. Remember you’re only human. As much as it might suck to feel vulnerable, strength comes when you discover your weaknesses and overcome them. Laugh a lot, cry a little and learn your lessons. Repeat.
  6. Go easy on yourself. Everyone and their dog can say “I’m my own biggest critic” because we’re always aware of our biggest flaws and greatest insecurities. Thing is, even the harshest critics in the world take a day off once in a while. If they don’t that negativity will take over who they are. Are you going to let it take over your life?
  7. Play the lottery. Lightning isn’t supposed to strike twice, but it does. The underdog isn’t supposed to win, that doesn’t stop them from it. Not asking is worse than asking and getting a no. Not playing lessens your odds a whole lot more than buying a ticket. You never know when your windfall will come. Open your arms and let it.
  8. Work. Work hard. Work your ass off. “C’s may get degrees” but in all honesty, what reason do you have for not doing your best? Laziness is a demon that will eat away at you if you let it. Be the best version of yourself. Work, work, and work. Each time you do something, strive for a higher achievement. You don’t know what you’re capable of until you get there, so work your ass of and get there.
  9. Rome wasn’t built in a day. As much as it’s become common place to say, it still isn’t really understood properly. Change is not an overnight occurrence. You won’t wake up tomorrow and be a completely different person. It’s a much slower, much smaller process than that. Don’t expect yourself to change, allow yourself to change. One day you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come and wonder how you ever were that person.

Late night thoughts: My mind won’t shut off.

It’s easier to do math with a calculator than it is to try and do it in your head. It’s easier to listen to audiobooks on your electronic device than it is to actually sit and read a book. It’s easier to drive to the store than it is to walk. It’s easier to assume the worst than to put your trust in someone, even if that someone is someone that you love. It’s easier to judge someone for who they ‘appear’ to be rather than who they actually are. It’s easier to go along with everything then it is to stand up for something you believe, even if it isn’t something most people do. 

Society chooses to do a lot of things the easier way. Why? Laziness? Or convenience, I guess. It’s convenient to bust out the calculator rather than trying to multiple 70×70 for most people on their own. So, if you don’t have to then why would you?

I’ll tell you what though, this restless mind of mine cant ever accept anything as is. I can’t help but believe there’s a time when convenience crosses into an inability to do anything for ourselves. Sure, technology is great. GPS relieves a lot of headaches. But there are people in this world who are driving that still can’t read road signs. Calculators are great; they’ve given us the assistance to solve many of the universe’s greatest questions, but the amount of people in this world who can’t do simple math in their head is alarming. Just about a week ago now I had a cashier whose register was broken and she needed to pull out a calculator to do $3.00 – .32 cents. 68 cents lady. It’s $2.68.

There’s a lot of talk. Everybody’s got words. But the lack of actions, that’s something that bothers me. So many are so quick to judge the homeless man as a ‘dirty rotten scoundrel’ who is clearly unintelligent and brought his situation on himself. Because believing that what is expected, what is believed of him to be, that is far easier than actually getting to know that he’s a war veteran with a masters degree who, thanks to situations beyond his control, lost a whole lot more than his belief that people will see the better in him. Believing the dirty rotten scoundrel of it all is so much easier than actually having to care… to take notice, and to be forced to think about what actually happens in this world.

All I’m saying is that sometimes a little math is good for the mind, and, a little truth is good for the soul. Reading books is not for punishment, but rather for expanding your horizons of what you ever believed possible. Questioning is never a negative, and getting to know someone is always a positive. Even if it’s just to learn who you don’t want as a part of your life, everyone’s got a story to tell. Convenience is great but sometimes it’s nice to take the road less traveled. 

You don’t always have to take the easy way out.