Job thoughts.

Do you ever meet someone and think ‘damn, you’ve got so much potential’? It always seems like the people who have the most potential are the ones who are the most against changing, improving and getting better. Whether it self esteem or something else, for whatever reason, they just don’t think they can succeed.

Maybe you are that person.

I know I was for many years.

I became so complacent in the position I was in. In the stage of life I was in. I told myself that was what I deserved and, even though I didn’t like it, I accepted it. I told myself that people like me weren’t meant for more in life.

Now that I realize what I’m capable of, what I can accomplish, what it’s like to feel valued… I look back on that person that I was and… while I am not ashamed, I am angry at myself. I stayed still for years. I was treated like shit at work for years.

There are some people in my life these days that are just… still. They don’t move. They won’t move. Every time I try to tell them how great they are and how much potential they have and how they just need to step out, I get excuses. Different excuses every time. There’s always a different reason as to why they cannot. And I get, I do. I was there for sooooo many years. But, now that I realize how wrong I was, I don’t want to see other people making those mistakes.

You cannot achieve anything in life if you don’t try. I should know. There are posts on this very blog where I talk about how I wouldn’t try, I didn’t want to try and I wasn’t going to try.

Change is worthwhile. Even when it sucks. Actually, when change sucks, that’s probably when you’re accomplishing the most growth.

Just..

I know it’s hard when someone is seemingly bossing you around, trying to push you into a place you’re not comfortable with. Just know that it comes from a good place. Take that from someone who ignored those people for YEARS and now has become one of them.

It’s okay to want more for yourself.

It’s okay to chase more for yourself.

You might not be able to make a change tomorrow, but as long as you’re working toward something, progress will do wonders for your mood and well-being. And to be clear, I’m not advocating for anyone to up and quit their job. I just think it’s important to make a plan. A reasonable plan. Something for you to look forward to. Something for you to work towards. Something that’s realistic and able for you to accomplish. Six months? A year? Two years? Five years? Give yourself something to work for.

I have a plan in place. Just knowing there’s a plan helps me immensely.

I applied!

A friend of mine recently suggested that it might be time I stop working for myopic thinkers. You know, he might just be on to something.

I mentioned earlier this week that I was considering applying for a position of Global Marketing Specialist with another company here in my city. Everyone in my inner-circle had already told me that I should. Everyone who commented on that blog post told me that I should, but I was doubting myself.

I applied this morning. I just decided that today is the day. I’m going to take the chance, and if this opportunity doesn’t pan out, I’ll find another. It’s time I stop working for myopic thinkers.

Onward and upward.

(I’m not quitting my present job, just to be clear. At least not until I line something new up. I’ve applied for this new position because… I don’t want to be stagnant in life.)

Overheard on Discord – Keeping in the Family

Axel got dumped on his birthday. Axel did not have a good birthday.

There’s a little bit of information about Axel here, here and here, if you’ve got no idea whaaaaat I am talking about. He’s become quite the character in my life.

His girlfriend (ex-girlfriend now) broke up with him on his birthday because ‘she needed space’. For the record, I’ve never met the girl, but I’m not the fondest of her as well. She seems to make poor life choices from what I’ve heard… especially with what I’ve heard recently.

Not only did she catch COVID and spread it to at least six other people when she managed to give it to Axel on their first hook-up (I’d call it a date, but he tells the story and it wasn’t a date), but I’m pretty sure she decided Axel was a suitable boyfriend solely because he bought her things. Also, another story from discord that I never told on this blog was that in January she was driving whilst intoxicated and crashed Axel’s car. While their injuries were minimal, she was subsequently charged.

Well, in a relationship where the drama just keeps on giving, Axel told us on his birthday that his girlfriend had dumped him that morning.

Today he actually told us on discord that he’s not speaking to his brother right now because, when his girlfriend (now ex) dumped him, she started dating his brother.

I just…

Some people are like magnets for drama.

He’s been in a bummer of a mood the past few weeks though. I kind of figured he was just sad that he was lonely again. Turns out there was an extra blow to his all-too-tiny-of-an ego when his ex started dating his brother.

Drama magnet.

Plot Twist

My manager, who does not know that I met with a head hunter last week, notified me this morning that I am getting a raise. She said she wanted me to know how much she appreciates me and the value that I bring to the company and that she knows I’m overqualified for the position I’m presently working. She said that she hopes this raise will show a small token of her appreciation. She said the raise will be reflected on my next pay cheque.

I mean… awesome! I’m not going to say no to more money.

Weird that it comes immediately following my meeting with a head hunter.

Part of me wonders if she knows. I didn’t say anything and I haven’t seen any connections between her and the headhunter. Part of me wonders if she knows, though. It’s all too close together to be a coincidence, no?

Baffled

I have a meeting with a headhunter tomorrow about a position with a company that has sought me out.

This whole situation has me so dumbfounded.

Clearly I’ve done something right. They want me to accept a job offer. It’s not me pitching to them. They have to pitch me. Me. Me? Me!

Meeting was a success

The meeting went really great.

It was unlike anything I’ve ever experience before. By that I mean that I’ve dealt with agreements and arrangements that are supposed to stay hush-hush, but I’ve never actually been involved with something that’s completely confidential and classified to the extent that I can’t even tell my coworkers.

A few weeks back I mentioned that I was hoping to expand the reach of the company (here) and if this deal goes through, that could triple… possibly even quadruple the reach I’ve been aiming for.

I don’t want to get my hopes up, but my hopes are up.

I want this.

It’s funny, this is something that is so hush-hush, I don’t even think I could tell my family. It’s not like I could ever have bragging rights for it, at least no publicly. But I want personal bragging rights. I want to be able to stand in front of the mirror and say ‘yeah, I did that’.

As of right now, it’s more like ‘yeah, we’re half way there’.

Fingers crossed.

Toes crossed.

Everything crossed.

Now I’m going to enjoy the office being closed for Easter. I’ve got a few days planned of doing absolutely nothing.

New life, who dis?

I woke up this morning at peace… with myself, with the universe, with life. It seems like things might actually be turning around for me. (Knocks on wood) It seems like maybe what I’ve wanted for so long might actually be attainable. It seems like things are good, for a change. (Again, knocking on wood)

It feels a bit like I’ve won the lottery in a sense. I’ve never needed a lot to make me happy and now that I feel like I might actually get all of it, I don’t know how to accept it. Is that weird? I feel like I don’t deserve it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful. I’m counting my lucky stars. I’m so, so, so grateful. I’m just worried the other shoe is going to drop.

For now, though… I’m just going to enjoy it, appreciate it and soak it all in. Loving my life and the people who are in it.

Day eight: running on fumes

Eight days seems like a lifetime when you’re not working.

It’s been eight days since I was sanctimoniously fired from my job of six-and-a-half years. Eight morning’s of wondering what I’m going to do with my life. Eight afternoon’s of anger, frustration and sadness, wondering what I’m going to do with my life. The most difficult to deal with of them all, eight night’s laying awake in bed wondering what it is I’m going to do with my life.

It’s safe to say that I’m not enjoying life right now.

Answering the phone seems to be an arduous task these days. Everyone has their opinions of what it is that I need to do next and everyone seems to believe they know what’s best. None of them seem to take into consideration what it is that I want.

Checking emails also seems to be a dreaded chore. When the subject line reads: “You’re 30 years old, get your life in order”, I can’t help but roll my eyes and leave it unread in my inbox.

I’m trying to figure my life out. But, as with all things in life, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Sometimes you have to go through struggle and sadness in order to determine what is really important. Sometimes it takes more than five days, six days, or eight days.

I guess I should be thankful. Actually, I am thankful. I am thankful that they care. I just wish that they would be a little more helpful and a little less anxiety-inducing in their caring. The death of a career, something you’ve seemingly spent you’re entire life working towards, it’s not an easy pill to swallow. I don’t have answers. I don’t have plans.

For now the plan is to keep everyone at bay. At least until I have more answers.

Currently feeling: whiny, sad, angry

-V