A day in the life of an unemployed millennial.

I’ve been unemployed since December 31, 2018. I was fired, without cause (legally speaking). It’s actually a bit of a story that I, at one point, had posted on this blog but took down. Regardless of details, here goes:

8:15 am – Wake up.

8:20 am – Drink BCAAs and cook eggs for breaky.

8:45 – 9:45 am – Some time during this period I will drive my mom to the cancer clinic. The time she begins her treatment depends entirely on what the doctor has scheduled so it is different each morning.

~ Sit with mom at cancer clinic, through appointments with Doctor and Nurse Practioners.

12:00 pm – Return home from cancer clinic. Make Lunch for myself, my mom and my dad (if he’s off work that day)

1:00 pm – Do dishes. My mom usually goes to nap at this time, so I am left with some freedom to pick up around the house, or watch Gilmore Girls. Usually it’s a bit of both.

2:00 pm – My Mom’s awake and now in her ‘cancer won’t get me down’ kind of mood, determined to go out into the world and do something. So I will take her out to run her errands, or wander around the mall. Just something to get her out into the world that doesn’t take place at the hospital.

4:00 – 5:00 pm – This is my sacred hour. During this hour I’ll look at/update my blog or head out on my own and just wander, decompress and calm myself.

5:00 pm – Start cooking dinner. Eat Dinner. Clean up Dinner. Do dishes.

6:30 pm – Help my Mom with various things.

7:30 pm – My Mom usually crawls into bed. I’ll take the dog for a walk, or watch Jeopardy. Or both.

8:30 pm – Sit down at computer and start looking for jobs online. Send my resume off for positions that don’t sound sucky or shitty. A lot of times I’ll send my resume off for positions that do sound suck or shitty as well. I’ll also respond to emails at this time, browse wordpress a little more and, play Clash Royale, watch TV or do something mindless and easy.

12:30 am – Go to bed.

Of course, not every day is the same. But, it’s a lot of just helping my mom at this time. She needs all the help she can get, lately. And, luckily for her, she has a lot of support from myself, my brother and my father. Cancer will do that to a family, though. I admire anyone who’s been through cancer with someone in their family. It’s a lot of hard work both for the person suffering and for the person looking after them.

Hopefully, if all goes according to plan, she should have a status of being in remission in just a few short weeks. I’m looking forward to her being healthy again, because I know she wants to go back to enjoying life and not feeling so sick all of the time.

I also think that soon enough, when she’s healthy and starts enjoying life again, perhaps things will change for me, too. I’m looking forward to going back to work. I’m looking forward to not having to worry so much. I’m just looking forward to life calming down a little bit.

This became a lot longer than I wanted too. People say that I’m the ultimate cliche because I am an unemployed millennial. I think, though, that’s what happens when you judge a book by it’s cover. Or perhaps I am normal and this is normal. Either way, the most important thing to me at this point in time is that my mom gets healthy again.

That’s all.

To cheat or not to cheat, that is the question.

Everyone who has ever attempted a diet before in their life knows the sheer determination it takes to maintain a healthy eating regimen when there’s such easy access to things like cookies and cheesecake in this world.

I, over the years, have been on my fair share of crash diets that seemed to work for a little bit, but inevitably failed me in the long run.

The thing about fitness, health, well-being, etc… etc… is that it’s not a fast fix. You’re not going to reach your optimal levels of well being after a day. Or even a week. Or even a month. When I log onto youtube and instagram and see people promoting these ‘detox teas’ or wander the aisles of the grocery store and see the ‘sauna belt’ promising a tiny waste, I can’t help but think they’re profiting in the naivety of people who, through no fault of their own, don’t know better.

I’ve been trying really hard (really, really hard) for the past seven months, to make a conscious effort to put good food into my body. Why? I’ve noticed a difference in my mood, in my body, in my energy levels, in my existence… when I eat better food. Kale might not taste as good as pizza, but I’ve been telling myself that for the betterment of myself, kale is what I will choose.

Which brings me to the ultimate arrival of cheat days. Cheat days are inevitable when you’re on a healthy eating kick. At least, I think they are. Because you can only eat kale so many days in a row before you really just feel as though you need a burger.

Cheat days are a struggle. I don’t think it’s just a problem that I have. I reckon that it’s a struggle with anyone who’s ever been on a healthy eating kick. Because if you give yourself that day, if you tell yourself it’s only one day, a sense of panic almost comes over you.

I start to think “If I only have one day to eat this burger then I need to eat this burger and those fries and that cake and that chocolate bar and so on and so forth”.

I have no willpower.

So then I tell myself that I just shouldn’t have cheat days. I tell myself that I can go without it. I tell myself to stay on the straight and narrow and not to deviate from the path because if I don’t test my willpower, my willpower won’t get the opportunity to fail.

But I miss junk food. I do.

Trying to find a happy medium that benefits my health (healthy eating) and benefits my soul (junk food) has been a long road. Which I know in itself sounds like a real first world problem.

I haven’t found that happy medium as of yet, but I am still looking. If anyone has an suggestions for finding the happy medium or for how to increase your willpower, I will gladly take them.