English is hard. Part two.

My office hired a consultant back in June to help with a few projects as we look to expand to Australia and New Zealand in the latter half of this year and (more so) into 2022. This consultant is from the good old state of Georgia and he REAAAAALLY likes to speak versus type. So, I wind up with a lot more voicemails than I would like.

Georgia, as we’ll refer to him as, says “Whenever” in place of the word “When”, pronounces the word ‘Niche’ as ‘Nitch’ instead of ‘Neesh’. He says ‘Y’a’ll’ when making reference to me and only me, and I’m pretty sure when he writes me emails he doesn’t even spell ‘Y’all’ correctly. I should be ‘Y’all’ not ‘Ya’ll’, right?

Anyways, in honour of my good-friend Georgia, and in honour of the South speaking a completely different language than everyone else in North America, I’ve decided to share some common words people disagree about.

  • When “Picture” becomes “Pitcher”. You know you’ve heard someone say it before.
  • When “Espresso” becomes “Expresso”. There’s actually no ‘X’ in the word, despite what half the world seems to believe. People also do this with “Especially” by pronouncing it “Expecially”.
  • When people say “Supposably” in place of “Supposedly”. Not the same words.
  • When people say “Decompose” instead of “Decompress”. Shockingly, this is one I hear a lot… largely during times when people are speaking of self-care. Can you imagine talking about relaxing and wanting to decompose?
  • When people pronounce “Nuclear” as “Nuk-you-lar”. There definitely isn’t two ‘u’s’ in there.

How do you, personally, pronounce school? How do, personally, you pronounce schedule? Do you choose the “k” or the “ch” sound for one or both? Why or why not?

How do you pronounce Acai? I definitely pronounced it “Ack-eye” until about a year ago.

Do you pronounce it “tiss-ue” or “tish-ue”?

Random things are running through my head this morning.

The English language is really difficult sometimes.

I truly admire people who learn English as a second language. I especially admire people who learn English as a second language as an adult. This is not an easy language to comprehend, and people have been speaking to me and teaching it to me since my birth.

Here’s a few examples to remind you just how fun this language is:

Read is the present tense. Read is the past tense.
Plead is the present tense. Pleaded is the past tense.

The plural of goose is geese.
The plural of moose is moose.

Contractions function almost identically to the full two-word phrase, but are only appropriate in certain places of a sentence. It’s one of the weirdest quirks of this language we’ve.

Cough is pronounced ‘c-off’.
Dough is pronounced ‘d-oh’.
Tough is pronounced ‘t-uff’.
Through is pronounced ‘thr-oo’.

It’s ‘fourth’ and not ‘forth’ but it’s ‘forty’ and not ‘fourty’.

One mouse is a mouse, a few are considered mice.
One house is a house, a few are not hice.

Read and lead rhyme.
Read and lead rhyme.
Read and lead do not rhyme.
Nor does read and lead.

We park in driveways and drive on parkways.

Tear (to cry) and tear (to rip) are two completely different sounding words.

A ‘fat chance’ and a ‘slim chance’ mean the exact same thing.

Why the hell does the word ‘queue’ even exist?

Is it the ‘s’ or the ‘c’ in scent that’s the silent letter?

For the American’s out there, why is Kansas pronounced ‘Cans-as’ but Arkansas pronounced ‘Ar-kin-saw’?

Biweekly can mean every two weeks or two times in one week.

Why is ‘Dick’ a nickname for Richard?

Laughter is pronounced ‘laff-ter’.
One would think that ‘manslaughter’ would then be pronounced ‘mans-laff-ter’, right? WRONG.

Womb is pronounced ‘woom’.
Bomb is not boom.

Does anyone else’s head hurt when they think about the crazy rules, exceptions and things that make zero sense in the English language? All I have to say after writing this post is, give people a little bit of grace if the spell something wrong, say something wrong or use the wrong word in the wrong place. English is hard.