And the family grows

My brother and sister-in-law welcomed their second child last night (August 5th) just after 9:00 pm local time in Copenhagen, Denmark.

All throughout my sister-in-law’s second pregnancy my brother has told me that they have a name, but that they were not telling anyone until after their child was born. The whole family has been awaiting the news. We knew it was going to be a girl, we just wanted to know her name!

This morning (morning for me, afternoon in Denmark), my brother called to tell me that they’ve given her my name.

How cool is that? With all of the names there are in this world, I’m taking this as a compliment. You have to be able to leave some sort of an impression if someone is willing to name their child after you.

I’m going to meet Baby Harry

Baby Harry has been home and doing well at home. My brother and sister-in-law have been keeping home away from people because he’s very much considered immunocompromised and it’s just too risky to be mixing and mingling with his condition at this point in time.

That being said, one of the after affects of him laying on his back in the hospital for so many months is that his skull isn’t properly forming. His brain is developing faster than his skull so he has to get fitted for one of those baby helmets.

My brother said it’s something like this:

#

#NotHarryJustAnExample

Anyways, they have to take him to a specialist to get fitted for this helmet and it needs to happen sooner, rather than later, since babies develop so quickly and so much in their first year of life. My brother and sister-in-law have actually arranged it so they can see the specialist here.

Since I’m fully vaccinated for COVID, work from home and have no life, HARRY IS COMING TO VISIT. It’s safe for him to come and visit!

They’re going to stay with me for one night, take him to get fitted the next morning and then go home. My brother’s unsure right now if they’ll have to come back to pick-it-up, or if the helmet can be taken to their town and their doctor in their town can watch it go on to make it works properly. So, depending on how that happens, Harry might need to come back!

I’m excited to meet my nephew for the first time! I’m excited to have guests. I’m happy that they feel they can safely bring him here to stay and I won’t be putting him at risk. I’m just happy I’ll get to spend some time with the kid.

It’ll be a quick visit, but I’ll soak up every minute of it.

A mish-mash of thoughts

Firstly, I had a post up last night about my nephew finally getting to go home. That’s right, Baby Harry is going home. I posted a photo of him in that post, and upon seeing it, my brother asked that I take it down. That’s why it disappeared. The important point is, Baby Harry finally gets to go home.

Switching gears, I am more disappointed then ever with the headhunter. I was told that I was one of three candidates and that I would be contacted last Friday (April 23) with their final decision. Guess who didn’t contact me last week? The headhunter. Guess who didn’t contact me today? The headhunter.

If they didn’t pick me, after seeking me out and asking me to declare interest in the role, interviewing me twice and telling me how great their company and position was, why couldn’t they tell me? If they didn’t pick me, how hard would it be to pick up the phone, or send an email, and say ‘Thanks, but no thanks’. If for some reason they didn’t decide last week (they probably did, but if for some reason they didn’t) why couldn’t they pick up the phone, or send an email, and say ‘We’re delayed. We’ll keep you posted’. Why couldn’t they just… update me? They sought me out. I didn’t go looking for the job. They got my hopes up.

It’s just disappointing…

Meanwhile, at my day job, the Texas crew is headed to California this week. For work? No. For fun? Yeah, I guess. I don’t fully understand what kind of fun people are getting into right now. I also don’t understand what kind of fun two pregnant women are going to have with their boss in California, even if it is California. Apparently it’s team bonding and it’s necessary. They joked that they’re ‘Going to test out the effectiveness of vaccines’. So…1/2 my sales team is gone for the rest of the week. Good for them? Personally, getting on an airplane sounds absolutely awful right now. But, as I am aware, not everyone thinks the same as I.

Other news? COVID is still bad here. The government still doesn’t really care. Today they’ve taken to blaming Indigenous people for the current severity of the situation. Don’t even get me started with how disgusting I find that comment to be. Every single time shit hits the fan, the government finds a BIPOC community to point blame towards.

Other, other news: my parents are vaccinated with their first dose. They both have said they handled it very well. They got their shots yesterday, so my mom’s been texting me every few hours with what she deems important updates. Earlier today she said ‘My right hand is itchy, do you think that’s a side effect?’ No mom, I don’t. You got your shot in your left arm…

Lastly, I think the snow has finally stopped. (Knock on wood) It’s actually quite sunny out today, which was a nice change. If it could stay like this, I think it would help my mood tremendously. We’ll see what mother nature has in store for us.

Kids say the darndest things

I have a brother, sister-in-law and niece who live in Denmark. They’re having a baby in August and they just found out it’s going to be a girl! Anyways, this morning we were chatting via face time and my brother was showing me how his toddler is already comfortable riding a horse.

She started yelling “Go Vee, Go Vee” and then kicking in the motion people do when they’re trying to get horses to take off running.

I laughed because I thought she was confused. Three year old’s, they can get confused from time to time.

Anyways, she wasn’t confused.

She named her horse after me.

Isn’t that cute?

My brother said she named it after me because it has long blonde hair like me, so she says it looks like me.

Apparently I look like a horse.

I’m sure in her mind that’s a compliment. Me… well, let’s just say I don’t love the idea of looking like a horse. haha!

I’m so thankful for technology that allows me to connect with them on the other side of the world. Looking forward to it one day being safe for me to go there, see my niece, likely meet my new niece (as I don’t think I’ll be going before August) and my namesake… the horse with the long blonde hair.

Oh, also, when we were chatting on face time I noticed there was snow. In Denmark. In April. To the Danes who read this blog, I hope you’re enjoying your snow day. Mother nature must be confused!

The family drama continues

Since we lost my Uncle K earlier this year, my Uncle F has been a giant pain in everyone’s ass. He’s sought to make all of our lives miserable and he’s sparing no one in the process.

First, he tried to have me removed as executor of the will. He was trying to prove that I manipulated Uncle K into making me executor of the will.

Next he tried to have my cousins and I removed from the will itself. Uncle K had made sure to leave each of his family members in the will. EVERYONE. From his brothers and sister, right down to his great niece and nephew. Uncle F decided that if he could get everyone removed from the will except for his siblings, he’d get a lot more money.

Uncle F also stole Uncle K’s car because the rest of his siblings wanted the car to be given to my cousin Tara. Uncle F didn’t want Tara to have the car, he wanted to sell the car for profit. So, he stole it in the middle of the night and hid it, only to be found at a later date when he tried to sell it and wasn’t legally able to do so.

There was a period of about five months there that everything we tried to do to contribute to the closing of Uncle K’s estate was halted, delayed or outright stopped because Uncle F was being an asshole for the sake of being an asshole.

LOTS of petty bullshit went on. Every time that we made any progress Uncle F would send his lawyers out for blood. I don’t know if he just didn’t understand or if he was specifically trying to be an asshole for the sole purpose of being an asshole, but he was paying lawyers to halt the lawyers from fulfilling Uncle K’s final wishes. Uncle K’s estate is paying the lawyers, so every time he sent his personal lawyers after them, he was essentially lessening the inheritance we would get from his brother’s estate.

About three weeks before Uncle K’s memorial in September my father decided to put an end to it. He went to see Uncle F and words were had. I’m not really sure what happened or what was said because my father still hasn’t talked about it, but what I do remember is that my father told me from that point forward Uncle F would not interrupt any more.

Seeing Uncle F at the funeral was pretty awkward. He wasn’t mean and he didn’t cause a scene but he looked at everyone and sulked a lot like a toddler who’d just been told they couldn’t stay up late. Thankfully the fact that everything was exceptionally distanced that day meant that no one really needed to talk to him. He basically sat off to the side and pouted.

Fast forward to now.

The sale of Uncle K’s house was supposed to go through this past week. I say it was supposed to go through because, had everything been able to happen as was, we wouldn’t own it anymore.

Uncle F sent his lawyers to temporarily halt the sale of the home. Why? He doesn’t think we’re selling it for enough money and thus he’s arguing we’re undercutting his inheritance. Apparently if we just held out and waited we could sell the home for a lot more.

I’m utterly convinced he’s doing this when he’s doing this specifically to cause the most annoyance possible. He didn’t have anything to say when the offer came in. He didn’t have anything to say at any point during the negotiation process. Contracts are being finalized and how he’s trying to prove we’re trying to undercut his inheritance?

Uncle K’s lawyers don’t seem to think this will take too long. They think it’ll be wrapped up in a week or two.

I’m just so… annoyed.

As of right now it’s estimated that the siblings share of the inheritance should be between $100,000 – $150,000 each. This asshole is over here saying ‘STOP THE SALE. I WANT MORE MONEY!’

Of course he is. He’s a greedy SOB. There’s a reason why Uncle K chose a niece and two nephews to be executors to his will over any of his siblings.

I want to drive to his house and punch him in the face. That might sound aggressive, but at this point I feel it warranted.

She’s pregnant.

A couple of months back I shared this post: Getting pregnant to ‘trap a man’ is THE WORST IDEA ever.

To sum up the entirety of the story quickly, my cousin is manipulative and decided that she was never going to get another boyfriend as attractive as her current boyfriend so, by her logic, she might as well find a reason that would make him have to stay. So, her plan was to get pregnant.

I did manage to get in touch with her boyfriend to try and let him know about her plan but, by the time I’d done so, she’d manipulated him into believing that I was a liar and that he shouldn’t listen to anything I had to say, the conversation was brief.

Well, she’s pregnant.

Her mom(my aunt) phoned my mom the other day to share the news of how excited she was to have her first grand child on the way. My aunt said that no one is allowed to know because she’s only five weeks along. So… my cousin told me her plan was to get pregnant in late November. It’s now February 4 and she’s five weeks along. If you do the math… it took her very little time to execute on ‘Operation Trap My Boyfriend’.

When my mom told me that my cousin was pregnant the discussion came up about what my cousin told me in November, how this was her plan. My mom’s response? ‘No, that’s definitely not true. She has PCOS, she was told it would be difficult to impossible to conceive naturally’.

Yeah, she doesn’t have PCOS.

‘Where did you hear that she has PCOS?’ I asked my mom.

‘[Your aunt],’ my mom said.

So, my cousin convinced her mom that she had PCOS and was going to have a hard time having kids if she ever wanted them. Her mom then then in turn convinced my mom that she had PCOS. Who wants to bet that she convinced her boyfriend that she had PCOS so they didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant?

*Note – It is worth noting, I am aware that PCOS makes it difficult to get pregnant, not impossible. I am also aware that there are women in this world who use PCOS as an excuse when they don’t have it. Nevertheless, I digress.

Apparently, the boyfriend is happy. Apparently he’s, and I quote from my mom, from her mom, from her, ‘he’s over the fricken moon’ with excitement.

Also, apparently, the boyfriend is from a religious family. And, religion being something that baffles me to my core, his family is completely okay with him living with his girlfriend out of wedlock, but, his family is not okay with them bringing a child into this world out of wedlock.

According to my aun they might get married to appease the family, and then have a ‘real wedding’ after the baby comes.

Of course all this is hearsay at this point because I have since been… ex-communicated from her life for trying to tell her boyfriend of the plan. So, the information I am being provided I am taking with a grain of salt.

Breaking this down for my own brain: Cousin plans to trap boyfriend by getting pregnant. Cousin tells me this plan in November. Aunt delivers news that cousin is pregnant in February. Cousin’s boyfriend comes from a family that believes you cannot bring a child into this world out of wedlock. So… cousin and boyfriend could potentially be getting married in a ‘quickie ceremony’ to appease religious family.

I wonder how cousin’s boyfriend(and his family) feel about divorce?

I also wonder how cousin’s boyfriend will feel when they inevitably have a fight that leads to him learning she intentionally got pregnant. Because this will come out. Things like this always have a way of coming out.

I stand by what I said in November… getting pregnant to trap a man is the worst idea ever. Even if they do get married, even if they do try to stay together for this child, this entire situation is going to put some serious strain on their relationship. And imagine how this poor child is going to feel when their fights happen. I feel like ‘plans like this’ always come up in fights over the years. I feel like this child is destined for a life of tug-of-war parenting.

Her boyfriend is a cop. I don’t know him well, but I reckon in being a cop (and now from learning he comes from a religious family background) the concepts of honesty and integrity are important to him.

I wonder how he’s going to feel when he learns how manipulative his girlfriend is.

Also, this poor child that’s going to be born into this.

Important Reminder

You are not defined by anything that your family says, does or feels. You are your own person and are entitled to your own thoughts, actions and feelings. Being related to someone, by blood or not, does not mean that you are forced to be like them, or forced to be one of them.

I think it’s extremely important to note that you can both love and be thankful for your family while still not wanting to be like them. Contrary to popular notion, this does not make you a bad person. This makes you your own person. An individual. And shouldn’t this be everyone’s goal?

Confessions of a Millennial

I was watching a tv-show earlier in which the characters were sharing confessions with one another. And, for some reason, I felt like sharing mine. Are these that interesting? Likely not. But, I’ve got a lot on my mind tonight so I thought I’d write them all down and let some of it out of my head. I may not leave these up. I’m not too sure.I’m just trying to declutter my mind right now…

I’m an emotional eater. When I get sad, I go for the junk food. When I’m lonely, I go for the junk food. When I’m indifferent, I go for the junk food. When I’m happy, bring out the cake! I hide food in my room so that I can eat when I get emotional. I know it’s not good for me. I absolutely know that. I have no excuses.

I didn’t leave my house at all yesterday. I didn’t even step out the door to go to the mailbox. I do this a lot. Sometimes I feel like I am not worthy of being around people, so I will just keep to myself as though the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

I once witnessed someone get hit upside the head (by a drug dealer) with a baseball bat and subsequently fall into the hot tub he was standing in front of. I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do. The Drug Dealer was screaming to leave him in there (the guy he just hit with the bat), and honestly, if it weren’t for one person who jumped into action, he probably would have drowned in there because we were all so scared that if we moved to help, he’d hit us with the bat as well.

The one time that I told a family member about my anxiety their response was ‘oh you’re just being dramatic’. As a result, I don’t think I’ll ever tell another family member ever again.

Someone tried to kidnap me when I was ten years old. He picked me up from behind, held me in his arm, put his hand over my mouth and started running for the mall door. I bit his hand and started to scream, and if it weren’t for a random stranger seeing me screaming as he was carrying me out the mall door, I really don’t know what would have happened. And that still haunts me. The man was never caught.

My worst kiss involved having the guy throw up mid kiss. Yup, someone else’s vomit in my mouth.

I’m very mean to myself. Every insecurity that I have come to light as a means to pick myself apart. I don’t want to be insecure, but I am. When people critique me, judge me or make fun of me, I wish they knew hat it’ll never be as bad as what I do to myself.

I started a youtube channel once. My first video got 300 views in the first couple of days being up and I got nervous of people judging me so I took it down.

I once had a side-hustle taking exams for other people.

My parents are racist. They say they’re not. But… the things they say, the actions they have, it shows in their character. And I get worried when I take them places they’re going to say something to someone of another race that cannot be forgotten, nor forgiven and that will get held against my character as well.

Sometimes I feel like I was born into the wrong family. I find myself wishing that I was adopted because then it might make more sense as to why I am the way that I am and why I have such a hard time ‘fitting in’ with this family. Then I feel bad for not being thankful for the family that I have. But I can’t help but shake this feeling that I don’t belong.

I have cried my way out of three speeding tickets.

What are your confessions? Things you don’t tell people. Things you won’t tell people. Things you’re afraid of getting out.

The importance of ‘YOLO’

As much as it annoys me when I hear people saying ‘YOLO’ for stupid shit, there’s also a tiny little voice in the back of my brain saying ‘they’re right, so listen to them’.

You only get a limited number of days, a limited amount of time. Don’t waste those days and that time on people who aren’t worthy of being in your orbit and jobs that aren’t challenging you, or making you happy, or fulfilling your life.

I had a really good conversation with my sister-in-law last night. It was one of those conversations that went well into the wee-hours of the morning where it seems as though everything under the sun gets discussed, so to speak. It was really nice. I don’t have a lot of people like that in my life who I can just talk to. Anyways, the point of this tidbit is that we got to talking about happiness.

What makes you happy? What doesn’t? What do you do because you have to and what do you do because you want to? And if there are things in your life that you’re doing that are making you miserable but you don’t have to be doing them, why are you?

My sister-in-law has a younger sister who got married at 20. Not only did she marry at an age which we consider to be young, but she married a man 28 years older than her. He was the first man she’d ever been with and she’d dated him since she was 17. (Yeah was and still is pretty gross. It’s a whole big family-drama story for another time) Now, having been married five years, she’s 25 years old wants kids and is with a man who’s ready to retire and live out his days lawn-bowling and spending winters in Arizona. She’s miserable. And she’s too damn afraid to leave him that my sister-in-law doubts it’ll ever happen.

She’s miserable. She’s 25 and she’s too afraid to do anything to escape the misery.

The thing is, she’s 25. She’s got soooooooo much life left to live. I wish I could knock some sense into her that she’s capable of leaving him and more than strong enough to do so. Why? Because YOLO.

Life is far too short to live it being miserable. I say that in funny situations and I say that in serious situations. Being 25 and married to a man who’s 53 who you don’t want to be with anymore, that doesn’t have to be your forever.

She owes it to herself to be happy.

You owe it to yourself to be happy.

I’m sure that we all have things in our lives that we can’t escape. That’s life. But honestly, when you can cut the ties with what’s weighing you down, do it. Whether it’s a 53 year old man you’ve grown to hate, a stupid job that’s making you miserable, friends that tear you down, or whatever it is that is weighing you down, you are strong enough to move past it.

You owe it to yourself to be happy.

You only live once. It’s far too short to waste your days with someone or something that doesn’t make you happy.

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late or too early to start over. Begin again, chase the life that will make you happy/happier/happiest. Eat that piece of cake, take that trip, buy that ________(insert expensive object here), be the most fulfilled version of yourself that you can.

At the end of the day, the best thing that you can give to your future self is the memories of a happy life, and the knowledge that you lived it to the fullest.

YOLO

When life hands you lemons…


Something happened this week that I was not expecting.

See, I’ve been afraid to tell anyone of my upcoming trip because I feared judgement for booking a plane ticket when I don’t have a steady stream of income. If there’s one thing I’m certain of in my life, it’s that the people around me can be extremely judgmental. And, though I know it comes from a place of love, it still comes… at times being really hard to deal with.

Moral of the story is that I didn’t want to be made to feel badly for doing something for myself.

I kept waiting for the right moment in which to break the news and continued to find excuses as to why it was never the right moment. As my date of departure draws closer, I knew the news needed to come out soon otherwise people would notice when I disappeared for multiple days.

Then, out of the blue, I was invited to an event this weekend. Knowing right then and there my time was up, I faced the music and admitted that I was headed on a trip. What I did not expect was the gracious and kind responses I received in acknowledgement of my trip.

They were kind. So kind. Telling me things like ‘Good for you! You deserve this’ and ‘I’m so happy that you’re doing something for yourself’. One of them even offered me money to help pay for the trip. To be honest, I was quite shaken by these responses. Happy, but shocked. I guess it goes to show though, as much as you think you might know someone, people can always surprise you.

That’s a huge weight off my back leading up to my trip. As much as I want to believe that the only opinion that matters is my own, the opinion of those that I love still plays a large role in my life. And I can now leave on Saturday knowing that the people in my life are supportive of my decision, my mom will be looked after, and the wanderlust in my soul can be fulfilled, at least for a few days.

When life hands you lemons, buy a plane ticket. Go somewhere that’ll make you happy, that’ll make you smile and that’ll set your soul on fire. You deserve it, damn it. Take advantage of the here and now and just go.

Smooth transition into a new topic:

On the recommendation from followers on this blog, I purchased some Apple Cider Vinegar last week in hopes that it would help with my adult acne. Though I’ve only been taking it for one week now, I have to say that I have noticed a difference in my skin. My acne has always been the large painful, red, blotchy sores around my lips/lower cheeks and chin area. Over the past week these spots have transitioned into much smaller, less swollen spots on my face. It’s not gone, no. The spots will be there for a long time, I am sure. But it’s nice to see some improvement in my skin. It makes me feel better about my appearance, even just in the small changes happening.

So, thank you. Thank you for reading, thank you for leaving a comment, thank you for being kind and thoughtful and helpful.