The struggles of being female part three.

There are some very real struggles that come with being female. I’ve written two posts about this in the past, and I’ve been feeling the struggle this week so I was motivated to add more to the list.

This was meant to be both satirical and serious, but the majority of them ended up being more serious than satirical. Either way, these are some very real struggles that come with being female.

  1. When women are mean to other women. This drives me crazy, and I really hope I’m not the only one to feel this way. I’m of the belief that, as females, we should be bringing each other up, not tearing each other down. Empowerment, that’s what the world needs more of.
  2. Crop tops. I hope I’m not alone in this. As a 30 year old female, I am passed the stage in my life in which I would like to be wearing half-a-shirt. Crop tops seem to be having ‘a minute’ right now, and they’re all I seem to find in every store that I go. What drives me even crazier about crop tops is that they’re essentially half of a shirt, and they seem to cost twice as much as the equivalent in the men’s section. While in a store called ‘Journeys’ the other day, a men’s Champion brand hoodie was $40. A women’s cropped champion hoodie (half a hoodie) was $86. How does that make any sense? I want a full shirt.
  3. Double standards. If a man sleeps with a lot of women, he’s seen as a ‘hero’ so to speak. If a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she’s treated as though she’s a whore. If a man marries a younger woman, he’s again seen as a ‘hero’ for landing a younger woman. If a woman marries a younger man, she’s seen as taking advantage, or gross, or any one of the mecca of negativity society places on her. Why is it right for men and wrong for women? Look at how women are reacting to the Priyanka Chopra/Nick Jonas marriage. Why do so many people take such issue with it? Why does it matter?
  4. Employers/potential employers asking inappropriate questions that are none of their business. Three days ago, I made the mistake of answering the phone for an unknown number and it was the CEO of a company that I’d applied for a position with. Over the course of the forty minutes that we spoke, I proclaimed that I was wanting to relocate to be closer to my boyfriend. He then decided it was an appropriate question to ask me when I plan on having children. I can’t even begin to explain the ways in which that is inappropriate, uncalled for and none of his damn business. I don’t think he appreciated my answer, and I think he knew he pissed me off. Though we spoke of the prospect of me coming for an interview, I have yet to hear anything from him since. Which is fine. If that’s how an employer operates, I likely don’t want to work there anyway.
  5. ‘Don’t be so emotional’. Firstly, I take issue with this statement being thrown at women because of the fact that it paints the subject of being emotional as being a negative trait. There’s nothing wrong with being in touch with your emotions. Women, females, girls alike are kind, caring and giving. And being emotional helps contribute to that kindness and caring that we give to the world. Secondly, I take issue with this statement being thrown at women because it contributes to the culture of toxic-masculinity that instills a belief in men they’re not allowed to be emotional. Being emotional is not a negative thing.
  6. Why is makeup and skincare so darn expensive? I love collecting makeup, I really do. I love dolling myself up, I love trying different types of skincare and seeing what works and what doesn’t. It seems ridiculous to me that we’re in a time where a Drugstore Foundation costs $20.99 and Sephora Foundations can cost $200. Economically speaking, there’s no need for the markups on these products to be so high. Companies are taking advantage of us because they know they can.
  7. Walking alone after dark can be really scary. It is. If you’re a female and you’ve ever had to do this, on a creepy street, on a dark street, right downtown the city, you likely know what it’s like to walk with your keys in your knuckles, or to call someone while you’re walking just so that you have someone to talk you through your walk. You know what it’s like to want to park as close to the door as possible, or under the nearest streetlamp so that it’s not as dark. It’s not that I’m overly fearful of the world, it’s just that if you take the proper precautionary steps, you can avoid running into bad situations.
  8. Fake pockets in women’s pants. This one makes me so ragey! I want my pockets. Why you gotta play me like this? I have things I need to carry. Why are so many women’s pants made to look as though they have pockets when they really don’t?
  9. Trying to understand what goes on inside the mind’s of men at any given moment in time. Because you can see the wheels spinning in their head, you ask them what’s up, what they’re thinking or how they’re feeling and you’re hit with ‘Not much, nothing and fine’. You know that’s not the full answer, but you can’t force them to tell you anything.

Read previous installments here:

9 Struggles that come with being a girl >

The Struggles of being a girl, part two >

The struggles of being a girl, part two.

I realize with the last list that I made that there are so many struggles that come with being a girl. And so, I’ve compiled a part two. This is meant to look at things in a light-hearted way, but also, to be informative and serious. This list is not meant to bash anyone or tear anyone down. I’m also not whining, I’m just talking about the very real reality of being a female in 2019. Here goes:

  1. “Don’t be such a girl” and”Don’t be such a pussy” and “You’re such a whiny little bitch” and so on and so forth… We’ve all heard them before. It’s likely that we’ve even said them ourselves a few times without realizing what we’re doing. Have you ever noticed though, when someone from the male gender is insulted, he’s referred to as having some sort of feminine characteristics… implying that females are weak, horrible and whiny. I most often hear men use them as insults, but I will say that women do it as well. Whenever I hear it though, I remind people that if their main form of insulting someone is by degrading my entire gender, they’re coming off looking pretty stupid.
  2. The Pink Tax. Have you ever looked at two like products, identical even, one marketed towards women and one marketed towards women? The women’s item costs more. Always. Companies put higher prices on items marketed towards women – though it might be just small, it’s something that adds up. 8% here, 10% there and you can look at thousands of dollars by the time a year is done. Where you can, if you know about the Pink Tax, you can buy the products marketed towards men. But, it’s not always possible. And imagine how much that adds up over a lifetime. Next time you’re in the grocery store – wander down the aisle and compare like products of men’s shave gel to women’s shave gel, or a men’s razor to a women’s razor. There will be a difference in price.
  3. Wage Disparity. It’s a proven fact that women earn 79 cents for every dollar that a man makes for like positions of employment. I happen to have experienced this firsthand at my last position – where I had a male counterpart with no education, four years less experience than I and little-to-no knowledge of the industry, who made 12,000 more per year than I made. This happens everywhere. Men seem to be valued more in work environments in spite of what a female may bring to the table. I have a friend who, in an entry level position obtained with his bachelor’s degree, makes more in his second year of work than his wife does with a PhD and five years experience. Now I understand they work in different industries, but how does a doctor make less than someone who barely scraped through a bachelors degree? I think that it’s something people gripe about, but then often forget about and move on with their lives because it seems like a battle too big to wage. But honestly, I wish there were more people talking about it. There are doctors, lawyers, welders, mechanical engineers, and so many more women who are making less than there male counterparts for seemingly no other reason than they are not male.
  4. Feminine hygiene products are a ‘luxury’. This is an important thing to to note – in many parts of the United States, and the world for that matter, feminine hygiene products are taxed as being a luxury item. This has nothing to do with the Pink tax, this has to do with government’s making a willing decision to declare these products as something that is not needed, but rather, something we just choose to buy because we like them. This luxury tax can range anywhere from 5 to 14 percent, for the purchase of something that is ‘not a necessity’ according to government. I don’t know when PMS became a choice, but if I could choose to be without it, I would. In the meantime though, it seems like a lofty price to pay over a lifetime solely for the fact that you’re a woman with properly functioning body parts.
  5. When your bra tries to kill you. (Okay, I’m being a bit dramatic with that leadup) It’ll happen so casually, you’re just out one day – walking down the street in the sunshine with a friend or your dog and bam… out of nowhere there’s a sharp pain in your chest. Just because the laws of the universe say you can never keep your comfortable bras, one wire has exploded out the side of your bra and shoved itself into your skin, possibly hard enough to cause you to bleed. It doesn’t happen very often, but I’m certain that every girl knows how it feels.
  6. Trying to run with big boobs, or boobs in general. I’m not a runner. That is largely in part to the size of my boobs. I explained it to a male friend of mine once by asking him to put his backpack on his front instead of his back, and then telling him to run down the road. I genuinely think he understood after that point. It’s just… harder. If you’re a girl and you’re a runner – I commend you. Girl you are my hero.
  7. Being slut shamed without being slut shamed. Honestly, when you try to explain a story of something that made you uncomfortable, or scared, or mad, about an interaction with someone and the person you’re telling the story to asks “what were you wearing?”, that’s a real piss off. That’s how you slut shame someone without calling them a slut and I hate it. I hate it when I hear that phrase. Whether you’re wearing a mini skirt or a down parka, it really doesn’t give anyone the right to mistreat you.
  8. When we focus on our work we’re considered not girly enough and we when we focus on our looks we’re considered vain. That’s really all there is to it. No explanation necessary.
  9. Bobby pins and hair ties seem to grow legs and walk away. I can’t even fathom how much money I’ve spent on these items over the years. Where do they all go? Perhaps they’re all having a party somewhere in the sunshine. Oh, it’s especially the worst when you’re down to your last hair tie and you go to put up your hair in a nice ponytail and the hair tie breaks in your hand. Cringe.

Regardless of your gender I think we can all agree that we need to be nice to one another. Everyone goes through struggles in life and we’ve all got a battle to fight. Be kind.

Struggles of being a girl, part one >