The Good Folks

You know those people in your life that just make you better? Goodness, I am so thankful for them.

Without even trying it’s like they just completely understand you, they appreciate you for exactly who you are and they bring out the best in you. They want to see you succeed and they do all that they can to help you get there. They’re the best kind of people in this world.

They’re also a rarity. They’re hard to find and easy to lose, so when you do find those people you hold on for dear-life, knowing the good that they spread is just the kind of good you need in your world.

I have a few of those people in my life. Those people whether I’ve known them 15 years or 1 year, it feels like I’ve known them forever. I admire them. I adore them. I dream of being like them and I hope that I can do for them even a fraction of what they do for me.

But the good folks, they don’t care about that. Because they don’t help you to ask for, or expecting anything in return. They don’t want reciprocation. They’re just that good. They pass along their goodness like a light to your life and to everyone’s lives that they touch, just because. Because that’s who they are and that’s what they bring to this world.

I got a phone call this morning and it wasn’t a request, it was just to talk. He knew that I wasn’t in a happy space and he just wanted to talk. He wanted to make it better, to make me feel better. And I can’t even stress enough how much it helps when someone calls just to say hey. So few times in life do people reach out just to reach out. More often then not, they’re reaching out because they want something.

If you have someone in your life who calls to just talk… remember that. Remember them. The good people in this world, they’re hard to find. If you’re lucky enough to find them, hold on for dear life! They’re worth it. I promise they’re worth it.

Some people, they just make your life better. They make you better. That’s what I want to be for someone. That’s who I strive to be.

On ‘being a good person’.

Of all the things he hasn’t accomplished in his presidency, Donald Trump has most definitely been successful in emboldening hatred, bigotry and misogyny around the world. In my mind, he is the prime and shining example of school-yard bullying at the highest powers of society and the fact that he’s so well known has, in some way, given a voice hatred spewers world-wide.

If you like Donald Trump and you think he’s a good president, that’s your opinion and you’re allowed to believe that. I don’t like him. I don’t like what he stands for. I don’t like what he represents, and most of all, I really don’t like that he’s made it acceptable in 2019 to be a horrible person and have it be socially acceptable.

I don’t want to go backwards. I don’t.

The world that my mom and dad grew up in, the world that my grandparents grew up in, it had a lot of problems. There were a lot of things going on that I thought we’d already passed and left behind us. I’m not saying we don’t have our own problems now, I’m just saying that we shouldn’t be revisiting the past.

Hate is not okay. Bullying is not okay. Bigotry is not okay. Misogyny is not okay. Sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia, all not okay.

I know that it was naive of me to assume to, but I liked to think that all children in this world are raised with manners, and taught tolerance, acceptance and respect. Sadly, 2019 has been teaching me that that is really not the case.

The thing is, no one is born evil. No one is born to hate. That’s why I think it’s so important to teach people when they’re children. Trying to teach adults is a whole different ball game. That being said, it saddens me that so many people in this world are raised being taught to hate and bully.

I consider myself to be a good person. Or at least I try to be. I’m nice to everyone I meet, I use my manners – hold open doors, etc… I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, whether their opinions agree with mine or not. I just wish that everyone would try to do the same, to be the same.

What do you get out of bullying someone? Honestly. What do you get out of treating someone as though they’re less than you? Does it make one happy? I can’t imagine that it makes someone fulfilled. Donald Trump (sorry to use him as an example again, but really) doesn’t seem all that happy, or fulfilled. And, considering I question whether or not he actually has any money, he doesn’t seem like he has much of anything beyond a lot of hatred.

I just want to encourage everyone to be nice. Just be nice. Treat your friends well, treat strangers with kindness. Have hope for the people you don’t know and have understanding for the people you do know. Try to understand the human condition and that we all have good and we all suffer from time to time – some a lot worse than others. Just because we don’t know what someone is going through doesn’t mean that we cannot help.

Kindness is so important. Manners cost nothing. Be a good person. Please.

Of all the legacies you can leave in this world, please try to be a good person. That might be the most important of all.

Day 50: If someone tears you down, that’s a reflection of them and not you.

Honestly, my thoughts make a lot more sense inside my head then on the page in front of me. Nevertheless, here I go:

It’s funny, you know… putting your faith in someone. You work so hard to keep the walls up for so long and someone waltzes into your life convincing you to let your guard down. And they abuse that. And they abuse the trust you put in them.  That’s how it always happens, right? And instead of finding yourself back at square, it’s almost as though you’ve reverted back to step negative four. You’re worse off than before and that’s just how it goes.

I truly believe that there are people in this world who will opt to believe you’re a bad person in order to shed the guilt they feel for how they treat you.

‘If someone tears you down, that’s a reflection on them, not you.’

I have to keep telling myself this. And truthfully, it’s not easy task convincing myself. But, it’s a really good reminder, every day. Good people don’t tear other people down. Good people don’t convince you to trust them and then fuck that up. (Excuse my language)

It’s easy to think that you’re the problem. It’s extremely easy for me to think that I am the cause, that this is my fault and that I deserve the poor behaviour, language and attitude being sent my direction.

I deserve more. Good people do not tear others down. I deserve good people in my life and so do you. Don’t ever settle for anything less than what you know you deserve.

You’re not the problem. They are. If they screw with your trust, don’t give it back to them.

Okay, I think I’m done for now. I might add more to this later, but right now that’s where my head is at.

What causes people to do bad things?

This is something that is of genuine interest of me. Are people inherently bad and can, at times, just do a really great job of fooling us? Are people not smart enough to realize what they’re doing is wrong? Or, do they simply not care? Perhaps there’s more to it. Something that I cannot wrap my head around. I’m no perfect person, myself, but, I would like to believe that I make the right decisions when I go about my life.

Someone that I know (or that I thought I knew) has recently been charged with doing something really bad. On the scale of one to murdering someone (I can’t believe that I just made a scale for that) he did something the courts are rating about a five. And that’s a big deal all in itself, but, he did it multiple times.

I’m dumbfounded. I genuinely thought he was a good person until I found out about this last year. Until the investigation began, I really thought that he was a good person. Learning what he was capable of though? While I’ve hear people say ‘I’m shook’ before, I’ve never felt the need to use it. But he left me shook.

Why would someone do something so horrible… so many times? What causes people to do bad things? How did he fool me for twenty years? I would like to think that I see people for who they are, but perhaps I just looked past who he really was, who he really is.

Now, as someone I know heads off to prison for a long time, I can’t help but think that I need to readjust the way that I view people in my life.