Guest Post: How being a loner can be one of your most useful and powerful assets

The following is a guest post written by V from the blog StormyNook. V’s first language is Italian, and he likes to share motivational and thoughtful content to help everyone be the very best version of themselves.


If you fall in this category and you think that being a loner it’s sad, or brings you misfortune…

Think again. You’ve probably been misusing or neglecting your “superpowers” while falling prey to your self-loathing.

Useless! You should instead exploit your UNFAIR perks.

What are they, you ask?
Let me give you some of them:

1) YOUR ABILITY TO WITHSTAND LONELINESS.

WAIT.
Before you enter “forever alone” mode, hear me out. I don’t mean it in a bad way.

Because by being able to do so, on paper-you don’t have the urge to have social interactions, when compared to more outgoing individuals.

Who actually need to be around people to feel great-and might experience & feel loneliness more than you.

Instead, you’re fine both ways!

2) YOU HAVE MORE TIME THAN ANYONE.

And this, I consider a cheat code for life, IF you can exploit it.

Think about this.
If you avoid unnecessary social interactions (Spending nights out drunk, meaningless hanging around, useless partying that leaves you in pieces in the morning, ecc..)

You have the ability to use that otherwise wasted time, so you can focus on:

  • The things you LOVE
  • Your projects\business
  • Improving yourself
  • Learning stuff
  • Becoming a better human, overall

More time on your hands = More relaxation = More time to get ahead of people, HAH!

Isn’t it amazing?

3) YOU CAN CUT OFF MEANINGLESS RELATIONSHIPS MORE EASILY.

Now this might sound cold-hearted and very “inhuman” even, but…

There are some kind of relationships you’re better off without.
I’m talking about the toxic ones.

The ones that hold you back,
That damage you,
That are not giving as much as you,
That you don’t really enjoy.

And while you shouldn’t cut off people randomly from your life (because that IS IMMATURE and shows that you can’t handle cultivating a relationship)

There are times when doing this it’s much needed.

And, being a loner- this might not have the same emotional impact on you-because you’re used to being on your own.

Giving you the ability to be more detached, logic-driven & able to walk away from something that is not for you.


Thank you to V for his contribution to #MillennialLifeCrisis. His blog is StormyNooK. Click here to visit StormyNook > and, while you’re there, drop him a nice note. Being as he’s in Italy right now, he’s under Corona Quarantine and could use some sunshine in his life.

Find out who your friends are…

I’ll probably be posting a lot today. I tend to post more when I’m sad, and today I am really sad. I guess that’s life though. Some days you’re up and some days you’re down.

Also, I have a lot to say.

Also, I just like this place.

Alright, I’ll stop justifying myself and start.

The song ‘Find Out Who Your Friends Are’ is ringing true today. Actually, it’s been ringing true to me for most of this year. When I got fired, I thought that I had friends at my job. I thought that I had people who would be there for me, people who cared, whether I worked with them or not. To my shock, my being fired was met with dead silence, or messages of ‘That sux!’ from the people I worked with.

‘That sux!’? Yeah, it does suck getting railroaded because your boss is breaking the law. You knew what was going on, you saw that I got railroaded and you’re still going along with it.

The people that were there for me when I got fired? Knight. My two best friends in Vancouver, volunteering to get on planes and telling me to come live with them. The people that weren’t there for me? The friends I thought were friends at my work. Guess our getting along was contingent on my being their coworker.

Nevertheless, I’ve heard from former coworkers four times over the past ten months, the most recent of which being today. Each time it hasn’t been to check on me, to reach out, to see how I was doing or any of those things. When they reach out, it’s been to ask me how to do things, or how I did things.

Each time my response has been: “That sounds like a problem for Clint (former boss)!”

Today one of my former coworkers texted me with an offer of a trip. When I said ‘No thanks’, they responded with ‘Shoot, I was hoping you’d say yes so that I could ask you for something!’.

Go figure eh?

I don’t like associating people who only offer something when they know they need to ask for something from you. To me, when you give something, there are no strings attached. When I give something there is certainly no strings attached to it.

I was not shocked, nor surprised to hear that they wanted something from me. The song reads:

You find out who your friends are
Somebody’s gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas get their fast
Never stop to think ‘what’s in it for me?’ or ‘it’s way too far.’
They just show on up with their big old heart

And with people like this, they’re always asking ‘What’s in it for me?’

All I can say is, I know who my friends are. I know who’s been there for me, always, no questions ask, nothing required in return.

Oh, also, to my former coworker who wants something from me today… go ask Clint. No amount of trips or money or anything that you could possibly offer me would make me want to do anything for your office. Leave me the fuck alone.

Switching gears entirely…

I wrote a Guest Post for a friend’s blog. If you haven’t heard of ‘Rethinking Scripture’, please go and check out Dwain’s blog, and read my guest post. I’ll admit, it might be a little sad. But, people tend to appreciate my ‘Dear Self’ letters, so if you want to see it – this week’s ‘Dear Self’ is on Dwain’s blog. Go to Rethinking Scripture >